Angie Fox - ADS 01 - The Accidental Demon Slayer

Ant Eater yanked a sawed-off shotgun from the seat behind her and leveled it at me. I lost my breath as I gaped down the enormous barrels of the gun. She jabbed it forward, and it nudged my left breast. A chill seeped from the cold metal and crept right through me.

“You fucked up,” she said, low and deadly.

Off to my left, I heard Dimitri cock a gun. I stole a glance. He aimed a pistol at Ant Eater’s head. The restaurant had gone silent as a graveyard. She’d shoot me. I knew she would.

“You aren’t fit to be family,” she said. “I’d like nothing better than to put a cap in your ass right now.”

Frieda slipped into the booth next to me, shaking. That made two of us. “Put the gun down,” she ordered, her voice steadier than her body. “You know Lizzie is the one person who can save Gertie. I don’t care what you think about Lizzie. Shoot her now and you’ll never see Gertie again.”

Tears welled in Ant Eater’s eyes. She gritted her teeth, her gold cap gleaming with spittle.

In one fluid motion, she launched herself out of the booth and stormed for the bathrooms. The ladies’ door slammed behind her and every one of us breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh, Frieda,” I said, wanting to hug her. Every bone in my body had turned to mush. “Thank you.” I really hadn’t wanted to test that armor.

She slid into the seat across from mine, more serious than I’d ever seen her. “Save it for someone who gives a damn. I wasn’t kidding when I said you were the only one who can help your grandma. I hoped Ant Eater would be able to put it a little better, but the truth is Vald has Gertie. He’s taken her back with him—to hell.”

Frieda raised an eyebrow as my jaw fell open. “Oh yes, buttercup. Hell is real. And there is no escaping without a slayer. You.”

I blanched. No way was I ready for this. I didn’t think I’d ever be ready.

Frieda didn’t seem to care. “Now Vald hasn’t been able to get Gertie all the way into the second layer of hell. She’s weak, but she’s fighting like a double blast of dynamite. She’s clinging to the first layer,” she said, battling tears. “No question about it, your grandma is a fighter. But she can’t hold out forever. No one can.”

Tears burned the back of my eyes. Poor Grandma! I felt so helpless. She was suffering horribly and it was my fault and I didn’t know how we were going to get her out of there. And to twist the knife further, I still couldn’t understand why she ended up there in the first place. “What does that demon want if he doesn’t want her soul?” I asked, trying to hitch my voice above a whisper.

“He wants you to go after her. And you can! You can defeat him, Lizzie. You have the power. You just need to learn how to use it.”

Frieda burst into tears. There was something she wasn’t telling me. And if it was even more mortifying than Grandma being tortured in hell, I couldn’t imagine what it could be. “We need you trained yesterday. You’re the only one who can enter the second layer of hell and defeat Vald.”

“Me?” Holy Hades. “Grandma was supposed to be the one to teach me,” I said, rapidly losing all hope. “Who else is there?” Please don’t let it be Ant Eater . She’d shoot me in the kneecaps every time I made a mistake. And I knew I’d make plenty.

Frieda took a deep breath, not liking her answer any more than I probably would. “That’s the thing. No one else is qualified to train you. Except him.”

We both cast a glance at Dimitri. He towered over the booth, his arms crossed over his chest. “I said I’d do it. Lizzie is safe in my hands. As long as we do it my way.” He shifted his stance. “Now what is this I hear about Lizzie working for the werewolves?”

Oh no. This was no time to bargain. I couldn’t help resenting him for trying to be practical at a time like this.

Frieda frowned, clearly uncomfortable in her role as the coven spokesperson. “We worked out a deal with the werewolves in exchange for their help this morning. Think of it as a training run, Lizzie. It’ll be good practice for you.”

I nodded, my head bobbing while my brain spun furiously. I had to train to be a demon slayer and work a job for a mercenary group of werewolves, all the while my grandmother fought Vald as he tried to suck her into the second layer of hell. Oh geez. I couldn’t do this. I’d never had this much responsibility in my life, not to mention this many people counting on me.

I had to ask the question burning the back of my brain. Maybe if I asked it out loud, it wouldn’t be as scary.

“What if I screw up?”

Frieda eyed me, as serious as death. “You can’t, Lizzie. You just can’t.”

I was afraid of that.

I jogged after my new trainer—the only man who could help me save Grandma—as his boots crunched across the parking lot. One hushed conversation with the red-headed witch and instead of training me, Dimitri made a beeline for the bike we rode in on.

“Where in Narnia do you think you’re going?”

He slammed to a halt, and I nearly ran into the back of him. “Back to hell,” he growled. “Or at least as close as we’ve got to it around here.”

What had Scarlet said to get him riled up like this? I didn’t know and, frankly, I didn’t care. Well boo frickin’ hoo. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“You don’t own me, Lizzie.” He stalked toward the bike, yanking on his black leather gloves. “Besides, we’re not going to get too much training done without your switch stars. They’re back in my wreck of an SUV, along with something else I have to retrieve.” His eyes bored into mine. “Now.”

“Don’t you give me that,” I said, keeping pace with him. If anyone had a right to be annoyed, it was me. Everyone was counting on me, on us. “You’re a selfish jerk, you know that?” A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Umhum. And you know what? That’s fine. When you’re finished training me, you can build a tent and camp out there for all I care. But right now, your job is to help me get Grandma back. So get your buns back here and teach me, damn it.”

He appeared to think about it for a nanosecond. “No,” he said, checking the knife at his hip. And the knife in his boot. And the dagger in his back pocket. Holy Hades.

“Dimitri!” We didn’t have time for this. Grandma was in the first layer of hell—and sinking. Ant Eater lent me out to the werewolves on what sounded suspiciously like a demon hit job and now Dimitri—my protector, my trainer—was about to ride off.

“This Harley’s not leaving until I say so.” I dashed around him and climbed up on the bike, my tiger-striped pants catching on the leather seat, my feet not quite reaching the running boards.

Yeah, yeah, he could have lifted me off like an afterthought. But I had a feeling he was a closet gentleman. Or at least not the type of guy to toss me Jerry Springer style off the bike.

I was right.

“You don’t get it, princess.” He glowered at me. “This isn’t about us.”

“Then what’s it about?” This was not the time for Dimitri to be holding out on me. Again.

“Look,” he snapped. “We had a deal, remember? I train you. You do as I say.”

In his dreams. “Our deal is simple. You train me. Now.”

He dug a hand through his thick dark hair. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll get you started. But then I’m out of here.” He brought up a finger. “Now, listen. If you want to help your grandma, you need to master the Three Truths.” He counted them off on his fingers like he was the preschool teacher. “Look to the outside. Accept the universe. Sacrifice yourself.”

Oh, help me Rhonda. I knew this drill. Give the demon slayer a bunch of busywork while Grandma suffered and he raided the Red Skull for some hoo-ha bit of dangerous magic Ant Eater probably had brewing in the men’s toilet.