kbinnz - Harry's New Home

Hermione rolled her eyes. That would teach her to be nice to Parkinson. She rejoined the boys, now loudly reliving their visit to Featherbee's, complete with Jones' treatment of the twins.

The Great Hall was noisier than usual that night, as the students excitedly shared their holiday adventures, but finally the Headmaster was able to quiet them down. "Welcome back to another term," he said warmly. "I am certain it will be full of many exciting adventures in learning!"

Farther down the staff table, Snape rolled his eyes at the man's incorrigible optimism. "Adventures", yes. "In learning", doubtful.

"As you all know, last term we suffered the unexpected loss of our DADA instructor," Albus continued. Snape muffled a snort of derision. Well, yes, that was one way of describing what had happened тАУ "unexpected loss" indeed! "Alas, it can be very difficult to find qualified instructors midway through the school year, so we are very fortunate that the Minister of Magic himself has assisted us."

Snape's attention, like that of most of the students, focused sharply. Fudge had a hand in the appointment of the new DADA instructor? Snape frowned. That surely meant that Lucius Malfoy had had a say in the matter тАУ Fudge had barely enough wit to change his socks without seeking advice. But what could this mean? Snape hadn't really paid much attention to the DADA issue; he knew Dumbledore wouldn't offer it to him тАУ not when he had his own Potions classes as well as his House and Harry to look after. Come to think of it, though, it was a little odd for Albus not to have mentioned anything before now.

Severus glanced over at Minerva, but she was looking as surprised and wary as he felt. Obviously then Minerva hadn't been involved in selecting whomever this new faculty member might be. Considering Albus' past appointments, that was not good news.

Snape frowned. He was confident it wouldn't be Black or Lupin. While offering Black a position at the school would be very much in keeping with Albus' determination to keep Harry at Hogwarts and defuse what he feared was Black's plan for wresting custody of the boy, neither the mutt nor the werewolf would have been stupid enough to keep the information from Severus. Well, the werewolf wouldn't be stupid enough. The mutt might very well think it would be a hilarious surprise, but he lacked the self-control to keep from sharing the plan with Harry, and Snape was confident that Harry would not have been able to keep that news a secret from him.

So. If it wasn't one of the remaining Marauders, then who? Albus was quite correct: qualified DADA instructors should all have had jobs for the entire school year. Even idiots and charlatans like Gilderoy Lockhart or Emmanuelle Throckmorton could hardly drop everything and take up a teaching post with little warning. If nothing else, it would promote the wrong image for them to be perceived as so available.

Snape frowned again. If Fudge were involved, perhaps that suggested some civil servant was to be seconded to the school for the remainder of the school year? Hmmmm тАУ perhaps some newly retired Auror or one on desk duty due to an injury? Snape began to feel a bit optimistic. Mad-Eye Moody would be a brilliant choice. Particularly now that he appeared less convinced of Snape's Death Eater loyalties, it would be reassuring to have someone so paranoid lurking around the castle and ensuring that Voldemort hadn't managed to sneak in again. Moody's membership in the Order meant that Dumbledore would have no issues with accepting him, and after the previous term's events, Snape could understand why Fudge (and Bones) might wish to have an observer from the Ministry and MLE present at Hogwarts. Yes, it all made sense. And having such an experienced Auror teaching the children could only be to the good. Snape nodded to himself. This could be very useful, particularly if he could get Moody to give Harry some extra Defense lessons. That would nicely complement his dueling lessons with FlitwickтАж But Albus was still talking.

"I am sure you will join me in welcoming Minister Fudge's personal appointment to the Hogwarts staff, and our new DADA instructor, Professor Dolores Umbridge." Albus nodded to the far end of the table from Snape and began to clap.

Students and faculty followed the Headmaster's lead and applauded as a short, toad-like woman, dressed entirely in pink, rose to her feet. Snape's stern self-control enabled him to bite back the furious oaths that were his initial reaction, though one glance at Minerva proved she too was less than impressed by this appointment.

"Now," the Headmaster continued, "although the third floor corridor is no longer off-limits, I must caution all students that тАУ"

The small, squat woman interrupted. "Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome. Each new headmaster or professor brings something new to Hogwarts, but progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged. Let us preserve what must be preserved and prune practices that ought to be prohibited! Children, as your new DADA instructor, I promise that you will all leave Hogwarts with a good understanding of the theory behind Defense Against the Dark Arts. We will not waste time worrying about nonsensical fantasies or sensationalistic threats, and there will be none of those dangerous lab practicals. No, a theoretical knowledge is more than sufficient to get you through your examinations. After all, so long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells in the highly unlikely event that you ever face a practitioner of the Dark Arts."

Snape was both gratified and insulted at the way everyone тАУ student and faculty alike тАУ glanced at him when Umbridge mentioned "a practitioner of the Dark Arts". He glowered menacingly, and the gazes were hastily averted.

"Ah. Yes. Well." It was almost worth losing Moody as DADA instructor to see Albus so nonplused. Snape enjoyed the moment while Dumbledore clearly struggled to decide how best to respond both to the witch's unexpected wresting away of the floor and the outright idiocy of her statements.

"You cannot seriously be suggesting that in your classes, students will not have the opportunity to practice spells under supervision," McGonagall snapped, leaning forward over her plate and fixing the other witch with a fearsome scowl.

To Snape's mingled alarm and admiration, the other witch was unfazed. "Given how incredibly implausible it is that any witch or wizard will ever need to employ Defense Against the Dark Arts spells, I see no need to waste precious class time in practicing them. Even most Aurors go their entire career without encountering an Unforgiveable," Umbridge added airily.

The absolute inaccuracy of the statement, coupled with the speaker's tone of complete certainty, rendered McGonagall speechless for a moment.

Dumbledore, still looking uncharacteristically flustered, seized the opportunity to intervene. "I am certain we will all find your teaching style most interesting, Dolores," he said quickly. "And now, let the Feast begin!" He hastily seated himself and the appearance of the serving platters prevented further debate.

"Albus! Are you insane!" Minerva demanded, grasping him by the sleeve. "Who is that fool? What in Merlin's name is she doing here?"

Albus sighed. "Now, now, Minerva. Dolores' ideas are perhaps a touch uninformed," he said delicately, "but she had the good grace to accede to the Minister's request and assume this teaching position on very short notice. I'm certain she'll come around in time."

Minerva snorted loudly, but forebore from further argument. On her other side, Snape was not nearly so reticent. "Headmaster, I understand why Madame Umbridge тАУ" he refused to award such a cretin the title "Professor" "- would seek to curry favor with the Minister by undertaking this job, but why did you agree to it?"