kbinnz - Harry's New Home

"Charmed, I'm sure," the blonde cooed, fluttering her eyelashes at a distinctly unnerved Snape. "And this is my sister Hildy."

"Brunhilde." The adamant voice spoke again from the house's interior.

Ursi pouted prettily, but agreed, "Brunhilde."

A brisk shove in Ursula's back finally prompted her to move aside, and a tall, dark haired, and curvaceous witch stepped into view. "It's a shocking name," Brunhilde said calmly, "but trying to hide the truth simply makes it worse. I take it you are Sirius Black?" She held out her hand to Sirius who gallantly kissed it.

To Snape's surprise, Brunhilde appeared immune to Black's charm. "I've read your interviews with interest," she told him drily. "Shall I assume that my sister is one of the women whose talents with chocolate you find so impressive?"

Black тАУ to Severus' eternal delight тАУ blushed to the tips of his ears and stammered like a schoolboy. Burnhilde regarded him steadily, then shook her head. "Oh, Ursi. What would Papa say?"

"I don't care!" her sister retorted. "But Mama would say he's dreamy!" And she took Black's hand in a proprietary grip.

"Professor Snape?" Brunhilde held out her hand again, and Snape, with a gulp he hoped went unnoticed, gingerly shook it.

"My pleasure, Madame," he replied stiffly.

Sirius smiled hopefully. "Well, er, let's go. I have reservations for us at the Rothschilde restaurant and then we're headed to the local production of The Magic Flute тАУ the magical version, of course."

"Oooooooh, Siri!" Snape suspected that those two words represented a significant chunk of Ursula's vocabulary, and he was heartened to see Brunhilde roll her eyes in disdain.

Sirius and Ursula walked ahead of the other two. Ursula's robes wereтАж unusually well-fitted, providing Snape with a view that was quite distracting. He averted his eyes and tried desperately to come up with a suitable topic of conversation. "Erm, are you visiting your sister for long?" he finally managed.

"A few weeks," Brunhilde replied. "She's a silly cow, but there's no malice in her. Ursi just decided at an early age it was easier to use her looks than her mind. I think her brain went on holiday shortly thereafter and never saw the need to return."

Snape blinked. Such devastating candor wasтАж rather like something he would say. "Ah. Well. YesтАж"

To be fair, while Brunhilde did not ooze "sex kitten" the way her sister did, she was still extremely attractive in her own right, and more than capable of relying on her own appearance to get through life. Snape wondered what had made this sister decide against such a course of action, but even his stunted social skills knew that would be an unwise question to ask. "Erm, I take it you hadn't had the opportunity to meet Sirius before tonight?"

"Not really, though he and my sister have been joined at the hip тАУ or another nearby body part тАУ for the last month or so. I'm sure it won't last much longer; Ursi's flings never do, but he seems nice enough."

"Mm." Snape decided it was safer not to comment. "Then you've not been on double dates with them before?"

Brunhilde quirked an eyebrow at him, a move that reminded him of someone, though he couldn't recall whom. "Do I look like a slut to you?"

Snape choked and stumbled. Brunhilde caught him by the arm and dragged him upright, then thumped him on the back. "Oh, come on then. It wasn't that hard a question."

"I тАУ Madame тАУ You тАУ " Snape trailed off, utterly shaken. He began to wish he'd stayed at the Weasleys after all. At least he could speak to Molly in a coherent fashion. This woman was not only breathtakingly attractive, she was intelligent and brutally candid, a combination which seemed to short-circuit his brain.

Brunhilde took pity on him. "I only meant that Ursi and I don't share the same taste in men, and with all due respect to your friend, he doesn't strike me as the kind of man who has too many intellectual friends."

Snape snorted despite himself. This witch obviously had Black well-pegged! "Then why did you agree to come on this date?" he asked, curious despite himself.

"Ursi likes to double date, so she kept bugging Sirius to find a man I'd go out with. He must have come up with every wizard within a fifty mile radius, but I couldn't be bothered. Then Ursi said that Sirius claimed he knew Severus Snape, youngest Potion Master in a century, and I became interested," Brunhilde said matter-of-factly. Snape choked again. "Of course, knowing Ursi, I wasn't about to take the claim at face value. I figured Sirius was more than capable of finding some hedge row apothecary and trying to foist him off as a Potion Master if he thought he could get away with it. So I did some research and confirmed that the two of you had been in the same class at Hogwarts. It seemed possible that you would actually show up, so I told Ursi I'd come along."

"And would you care to examine me on potion related questions to ensure I am who I'm purported to be?" Snape asked in amusement, too stunned by events to take offense.

She regarded him steadily for a moment. "What would happen if I used star anise in place of wormswood while brewing Veritaserum?"

He returned the look. "Absolutely nothing, since neither ingredient is used in that potion."

"Who perfected the long term storage of Wolfsbane?"

Snape blinked. "The long term storage of Wolfsbane has been perfected? According to whom?"

Brunhilde grinned and took his arm. "You pass. Besides, you look exactly like your picture."

"My picture?" he echoed in astonishment.

"Well, sure. Ursi showed me the one of you with Harry Potter."

"The one of Harry and тАУ What picture is that?" Snape asked blankly.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure when it was taken, but it's awfully cute. You're both sleeping and Harry's snuggled up in your arms. Sirius keeps a copy in his wallet, and he let Ursi borrow it to prove he knew you. He said he got it from your former headmaster."

And while Snape was still processing this revelation, she calmly continued, "But enough about that. What do you think of Seidelhoff's latest claim that using a copper cauldron can stabilize the brewing of the Draught of the Living Death sufficiently to enable mass production? Do you think such a feat тАУ if independently confirmed тАУ could be the first step in weaponization of the potion?"

Snape opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Who тАУ who are you?" he finally gasped.

"Brunhilde Zeeman, senior editor, Potions Weekly, European Edition," she said calmly, offering her hand again.

Snape blinked rapidly. Gorgeous. Smart. Acerbic. Potions expert. Perhaps Black really was trying to make up for his past behavior.

And even better, while social small talk frightened him nearly as much as a Dementor, when it came to potions, his confidence was unshakeable. He took a deep breath and felt his nervousness melt away. "Well, Madame Zeeman," he said, tucking her arm into his elbow and continuing to stroll after Sirius and Ursula, "I suppose if Seidelhoff could be trusted to know the difference between a copper cauldron and a pewter one, his theory might be intriguing, but as he has the brewing skills of a blast ended skrewt, it's somewhat difficult to believe he can successfully concoct the Draught of Living Death, let alone modify it."

"Ah, but he's been working with Ramirez for the last three months," she countered swiftly.

"My dear woman, he could have been working with Salazar Slytherin for the last three months and his brewing skills would still have to improve to be considered execrable!" Snape retorted impatiently.

"So you don't believe that Ethlegren's postulate can be disproven?"

"By Seidelhoff, with or without Ramirez's assistance? Absolutely not!"