B.L. Miller - Crystal's Heart

"Can I play with mine now too, Mom?" Thomas asked.

"You have to put the track together first," Patty said. "And I think something like that belongs in your bedroom, not out here where everyone can trip over it. Jessica, I think you can put yours in your room as well."

Jessica continued to try and open the box. "I wanna show Grandma first. Hey Grandma!" she called in a louder voice.

"What have I told you about yelling?" Patty said just as her mother stepped out of the kitchen.

"Grandma, look what Aunt Crystal got me," the girl said excitedly, holding up the box. Thomas yelped and grabbed his race set. "Me too," he said.

Without meaning to, Crystal's eyes met her mother's and for a moment, she found herself unable to turn away from the sadness in the older woman's face. In that fraction of time, Crystal remembered a Christmas morning so many years ago when her mother had happily handed her a present. She could not remember what the gift was or where her sister or father were, but she recalled hugging her mother, being held in those arms and for that brief moment in time, feeling special. The wisp of memory faded, returning her to the present and, to her surprise, a feeling other than anger at the woman who gave her birth.

Jessica succeeded in getting her grandmother's attention, causing the women to break their eye contact. Crystal looked over to Laura, wondering if her lover could see the confusion in her face. She wanted to leave, to get away from the mix of emotions swirling within her but before the urge to flee could set in, Jessica was before her, asking Crystal to help her put her rings and necklaces into her new jewelry box. Grateful for the escape, she followed her niece down the narrow hallway to Jessica's bedroom.

"Looks like we're going to have to untangle some of these before we can put them away," Crystal said as she looked at the pile of necklaces on Jessica's dresser. "Do you need help getting that?" she asked, her back to her niece.

"No, I got it," Jessica said, setting the box on the bed and pulling out the pink plastic pieces. "Did you have a Singing Suzy make-up center when you were a girl?"

Crystal continued to focus her attention on the twisted up pile of necklaces. "No. I had a plastic tree that held my pierced earrings but I don't remember any jewelry boxes or make up things."

"Oh." The blonde haired girl continued to take the various parts of her new gift out of the box. "Aunt Crystal?"

"Hmm?"

"Why don't you like Grandma?"

Crystal's fingers stopped as the words registered. "Why do you ask that?" she asked cautiously.

"I heard Mommy and Grandma talking," Jessica said. "Grandma was crying and said you hate her."

Crystal set the necklaces down and turned around. "What did your mother say?"

The present forgotten for the moment, Jessica looked at her aunt intently. "Mommy said she didn't think you hated Grandma but that she would talk to you again and Grandma said not to because she understood why you hated her." The young girl tilted her head, the mannerism reminiscent of her mother. "What did Grandma do that you hate her, Aunt Crystal?"

"Um" Crystal scrambled to find the right words to dodge the question. "I don't think you should be eavesdropping on adult's conversations." "She said she's sorry," Jessica said. "When she was crying. She told Mommy she was very sorry."

Crystal turned away and picked up the necklaces again. "You certainly made quite a mess out of these," she said, trying not to think about what her niece was saying.

"Once, my friend Katie and I were fighting 'cause she pushed me too hard and I fell down and cut my knee and Mommy said that because Katie was sorry that I should forgive her and I did and now we're friends again. Are you gonna forgive Grandma?"

Crystal turned and looked at her. "I don't know," she said. "What happened between your grandma and I is different." Moving over to the bed, she sat down and picked up the sticker sheet that came with the make-up center. "Things between adults aren't as simple as they are between kids. Now, let's get this put together so we can get out there and get some cake and ice cream, okay?" She quickly found two pieces and connected them, hoping to distract Jessica. Looking only at the picture on the box, the young girl found the adjoining part and handed it to Crystal. "Good. See? We'll have this finished in no time."

Despite her success in getting Jessica to drop the subject, Crystal found herself unable to stop thinking about it. Sitting in the living room later, she glanced at her mother often enough that Laura noticed and gave her a questioning look. Crystal shook her head as if to say nothing was going on and stared down at her plate. For the next several minutes she concentrated on looking everywhere but at the couch where her sister and mother were sitting. She poked at the ice cream on her plate until it was nothing more than a lumpy, melted mess before setting the plate on the coffee table.

"Here, I'll get that," Patty said, rising to her feet and taking the plate. "Thomas, if you're done with yours, give me your plate, wash your hands, and then you can open the rest of your presents."

"They're clean," he protested.

"No, they're not," Patty said in that unmistakable mother tone. "Go on. Jess, yours could use some soap and water too." "I'll help clean up," Laura said as the kids took off down the hall.

Crystal thought about helping but it was clear Laura had it under control as the clutter disappeared from the coffee table and floor. She had a sense of being watched and turned her head to catch Margaret looking at her. The older woman turned away quickly but not before Crystal caught the look of sadness on her mother's face.

By the time darkness had fallen, Crystal had become progressively quiet, giving one or two word answers. She and her mother continued to sneak glances at each other, caught more often than not by Patty or Laura if not by one another. The tension was building within her and Crystal found herself struggling to control it. Questions that could only be answered by one person repeated themselves over and over in her mind, refusing to be quieted. They grew louder and louder until Crystal knew it was time to give them voice. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself for what was to come and stood up, her eyes staring directly at her mother. "I want to talk to you."

The room fell deadly silent save the electronic sounds coming from Thomas' video game. Even ten year old Jessica understood to some degree the magnitude of the moment and watched the adults intently. Patty was the first to break the silence, getting to her feet and standing protectively between her mother and sister. "Crystal, can I speak to you in the kitchen for a minute?"

Laura rose as well and stood next to Crystal. "Are you sure?" she asked in a low voice.

Crystal wanted to say no, to say she reconsidered, but it was too late. Reluctantly, she nodded. Sword or olive branch, it had been extended and now there was no taking it back. "I'm sure," she said.

"Patty," Margaret said, holding out her hand. "Help me up."

"Perhaps the kitchen would be a good place to talk," Laura suggested, casting a glance in the direction of the children. "I don't think this is a good time for this, regardless of which room it's in," Patty protested as she used both hands to help steady her mother.

Clenching her jaw to keep from snapping at her sister, Crystal pushed past her and stormed into the kitchen, smacking the heel of her hand into the swinging door. Her annoyance at Patty's overprotectiveness of their mother was quickly replaced by the nervous realization of what was about to happen.

The louvered door that separated the kitchen from the living room swung open to reveal Margaret with Patty right behind her. Standing behind Patty, a concerned Laura looked in. "I want to talk to her alone," she said when Patty followed their mother into the kitchen.