Eric Thomas - The Secret to Success

CHAPTER

11

You should have put a ring on it.

“One half of me is yours, the other half yours-Mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours, And so all yours!” - William Shakespeare

After my freshmen year I could truly say that college was everything that I heard it would be and even more of what I dreamt it would be. In fact, my grades were an indicator of just how much fun I had my freshmen year. I traveled more than I had ever traveled in my life and most of my travels were outside of the Midwest. I went as far as I could go and made it back in time for my Monday classes. We went to Nashville, Louisville, Knoxville, Atlanta, Birmingham, Memphis and Miami. I took full advantage of the campus life. I went to every basketball game, played in every spades tournament, played in every intramural sporting event available, never said no to a bowling tournament and missed work as many days on the job as I could without losing my work study job. But nothing made my freshmen experience as memorable as the time I spent with De. We did not have her mother to contend with, I could see her everyday and we even had class together. Our love for each other grew on campus in a way I don’t think it could have grown in Detroit. For instance, at least the first two quarters, we would go to church together and some co-ed worship services together and in between classes we would walk through the campus and have worship together. One thing we did not have to worry about was De getting pregnant and having to leave college and go home. All the strict school rules helped us to take our relationship slow and focus on getting to know each other. Huntsville wasn’t a big city like Detroit so we spent the majority of our time walking, talking, studying, and getting to know each other on a deeper level.

“I don’t want to grow up, ‘cause if I did, I wouldn’t be a Toys R’ Us Kid.”

That year I got married, and you couldn’t tell me anything. I used to joke with my boys and say, “Take out your cameras and get a snapshot of this, because this, my friend, is what a grown ass man looks like.” But it did not take long for reality to set in and bust the air out of my bubble. Once the honeymoon stage ended, it was back to real life. I soon discovered, dreaming is one thing, but at some point I had to get up, get out and get something. Somehow, I had been led astray. I thought all I had to do was dream about how I wanted my marriage and life to be like and from time-to-time share the dream with my wife over a candlelit dinner. But I forgot I married a Detroit sister, and from my experience, they were cut from a different cloth. It did not take long before my wife started in on me. “You call yourself a man, what kind of man plays video games all day? When are you going to fill out a job application and get a real job?” she bellowed. She thought as soon as we got married I was going to make a swift transition from a boy to a man. But somehow I came back to school still immature. Instead of looking for a job I was over my boy’s house playing Techmo Bowl. If I wasn’t playing video games, I was on campus in a planning session for Bell Tower. What I wasn’t doing was handling my responsibilities as a new husband. Until one evening or should I say one early morning, I came home about 2 a.m. from the Bell Tower. The Bell generally ended right at curfew, 10:30, but sometimes we would go to one of the dorms to do a follow up session. This particular night we got into a deep discussion with the twins, Paul and Patrick and afterwards we stopped by the Waffle House. When I walked in the house and eventually in the bedroom, De looked at me and started crying. “What’s wrong?” I asked as I sat next to her on the bed. I thought she was having some challenges in the nursing program and that she was probably just a little frustrated because school was so demanding. “It’s you.” she said with an attitude.

“Me, what did I do?” I asked, confused. I am out here trying to do my thing for the ministry.”

“That’s the problem, the ministry! Did you marry the ministry or me?”

“I married you,” I responded quickly.

“Act like it then! You spend all your time on campus or with your boys while I sit here waiting for you to come home. And what about a job? We can’t live off that little money you made over the summer selling magazines. You need to go get a real job!”

She was right, I did need to grow up, get a job and get my priorities straight. I was not single anymore. I made a vow before God and in the presence of at least one witness that I was going to take care of her till death do us part; and not just financially, but emotionally as well. The next morning, bright and early, I put in a couple of calls to my people from Huntsville to see if they knew who was hiring. A couple weeks later I had a few options on the table and I decided to go with the Olive Garden. I chose the Olive Garden because the first busboys shift did not start until 11:00 a.m. and ended no later than 4:00 p.m., which meant I could leave as early as 2:30 to 3:00 p.m. if I was not the head busboy. If I worked second shift, I worked from 4:00 to 6:30 or 7:00 p.m., which meant I could still take morning class and I could make it to the Bell Tower.

I knew working was not enough. I needed to put more time into my marriage and my spiritual life. However, there were some things I knew I could not afford to sacrifice. The Bell Tower was one of them, Tuesday’s Chapel and special spiritual events like week of prayers were another. I needed to attend as many spiritual functions as possible, and I needed to stay active in the Bell Tower because I was beginning to see some serious growth in my program development and my public speaking.

If a man does not work he should not eat.

“Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last.” - Hamilton Holt

Have you ever thrown a pebble in a pond? If you have, then you know what happens. All you see at first is a little splash—nothing more nothing less. But if you pay close attention, seconds later that little splash starts to form circles. It starts as small circles at first but all of a sudden the circles start to expand. Soon the small circles become larger and larger. My rock experience and my experience at the Olive Garden were parallel. What started out as a not so glamorous busboy position catapulted me from an average Joe to the success I enjoy today. It still amazes me to think back on how a little hard work, a little going the extra mile, a genuine smile, a kind word, a yes ma’am, a no ma’am, a how may I help you, and a lot of sweat, blood, and tears opened up windows of opportunity and positioned me for success.

It is amazing to me how obsessed this current generation is with the idea of success. You hear the enthusiasm in their voice when they describe their dream car or when they describe the seven-bedroom, four-bath house in a gated community that they eventually want to move into. However, they get quiet when you explain to them the type of work ethic that is required to live that type of lifestyle. I was fortunate in that I learned at a very young age that there were no free lunches in life. There is nothing wrong with dreaming big dreams, just know that all roads that lead to success have to pass through Hardwork Boulevard at some point. So the day Olive Garden handed me my personal apron, a bucket, and my own cleaning supplies, I knew the deal. Work was more about the process than it was about the money. I made the mistake of thinking it was about the money when I worked at T.J. Maxx, Wendy’s, and Burger King. This time I would not make the same mistake. I would prove to myself and to God that I did not need to repeat the test because I had learned the lesson. The way I approached my work was the difference between me being a busboy for the rest of my life or me telling the world how being a busboy was a part of this amazing journey that began years ago. Through trial and error, I had a broader understanding of what work could do for me beyond the money and in return what I could do for the Olive Garden.