Eric Thomas - The Secret to Success

It’s so hard to say goodbye

Going to the next level is not as easy as one may think. People think the only requirement is giving up all the bad habits. That is the easy part. The difficult part about pursuing your dreams is that it often requires us to sacrifice some of the things we cherish. For instance, you may have to sever certain relationships, certain things and certain places. It was the latter that made it so hard for me to say goodbye .

Despite all the negativity and all the things I had been through, Detroit still had a special place in my heart. Hell, all I ever really knew was Detroit so even though I was excited about the idea of going away to college, I was afraid of going so far away from home. Alabama was approximately 700 miles from Detroit—a long way from the only place I ever really knew as home. Although my mom and I had an estranged relationship and things were far from what they once were, I still thought about her and my sisters a lot and I couldn’t imagine being so far from them. I did not have any family in Huntsville, Alabama or friends for that matter. I knew Alabama would not be like Detroit. I heard about the racism, the KKK, and how African Americans were treated like second-class citizens. But I was willing to take my chances and venture out in the unknown if it meant being with De.

I’ll never forget the day we packed De’s mother’s Excursion van. After packing my bags, I had prayer with the Cannonier’s. Sister Cannonier gave me a great big hug and a bag with lunch for the road. Brother Cannonier gave me a hug and said in his West Indies accent, “I am proud of you, but don’t come back without your degree.” Then I made my final visits. I drove by St. Bede on 12 mile, and then passed Southfield Lathrup on the way toward my parents. As I approached the house the events that occurred over two years ago replayed in my head. As I walked through the doors, I gave my little sisters Jeneco and Malori a hug and a kiss and told them I love them and that I would miss them. I spoke with my parents briefly. They gave me a brief pep talk and $1,000.00 in cash and wished me well.

Before I went to De’s house there was one more stop I knew I had to make, a stop that I had been dreading since the day I found out that I passed the test. That stop was to Bob’s house. As I got out of the car I began feeling sick to my stomach. Bob meant the world to me and now I felt as if I was leaving him high and dry. On the walk up to the house I began imagining that he was coming with me and that I was just there to pick him up. I knocked on the door and Bob came out with that classic smile on his face. “You outta here boy?” he asked in an excited tone. “Yeah bro I’m out.” Bob could see the anguish in my face and tried to lighten the mood. “You know I’m going to be coming down there to visit you like once or twice a month right?” “I’m getting a car soon so I am going to be down there like all the time.” I remember feeling so guilty. I mean, here was the guy that poured so much into me at a time when I had nothing and nobody, and I was the one off to college while he stayed in Detroit. Bob was the first one who told me about Oakwood years ago before I even thought about college. I would have traded spots with Bob that instant if I thought I could. “Oh you’re getting a ride?” was all I could manage to say. “You better get going bro, I know how De be on your head about being on time” he said laughing. “Thanks man” I said quietly. “Man you ain’t gotta thank...” “Bob” I said cutting him off, “For real man, thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” Realizing I was serious Bob reached and we executed our patented handshake we made up years ago followed by a brief hug. “Call me as soon as you get there” Bob yelled out as I opened the car door. “No doubt bro!” I yelled back. I shut the car door and headed to De’s house trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears as I rounded the corner.

On my way to De’s house I drove past Henry Ford and up Trojan to Brail reminiscing the entire time. When I finally made it there, her mom had packed all De’s stuff so I put my bike and my suitcase in the van and sat quietly as we headed for Alabama. We hit 75 south towards Toledo and passed Tiger Stadium. “Goodbye Detroit.”

SECTION

III

THE SECRET TO MY SUCCESS

CHAPTER

10

Oakwood: It’s a Different World

“Surround yourself with positive people and look for people who are already where you want to be.”

I will be the first to admit that I did not go to college with the best game plan in mind. I could not decide what I wanted to major in, and I was not really sure what courses I should or (maybe more importantly) should not take. I was like a deer in headlights. Despite my academic indecisiveness, one thing was for sure, I came too far to fail. I promised myself this time that I would choose my inner circle wisely. Like I said, I knew from first-hand experience, not from what I read in a book or from what my parents told me, how one friendship could make or break a person. So I spent the first few weeks observing. I knew I was not the smartest apple in the bunch, but my ability to judge a person’s character was reliable. Those who have spent any time in the hood had to acquire this skill to survive. So like a hawk that hovers over a particular area waiting for the right moment to swoop in, I observed everybody I came in contact with. I watched and I listened to their conversations and to the best of my ability, I tried to determine who was just talking and who was serious. I knew if I were going to make it in my new environment, I would have to surround myself with individuals who knew where they were headed and had a serious plan of action. For example, I could not hook up with people because they were from Chicago or Detroit or because football was their favorite sport or because we were Virgos. If I was going to survive and get the most out of my college experience, I needed to be as strategic in selecting my inner circle as professional sports teams are with selecting players in the Draft.

With his first pick in the ‘89 inner circle draft, Eric Thomas selects Irvin Daphnis . What drew me to Daphnis? Like all the greats, he had an aura about him. He stood about six feet tall, he was dark with a thin build and glided across campus with this silent confidence that screamed, “Look out world ‘cause here I come.” Irvin was the only person I knew who was confident enough and proud enough to sport dashikis like they were Jordans. I can still picture him walking through campus with this one colorful dashiki with the continent of Africa embroidered on it. Besides his iridescent swag, Irvin was extremely intelligent but it wasn’t necessarily his intellect that drew me to him; it was his crossover ability that intrigued me. Even though Irv had the ability to go toe-to-toe with the best of them and although as a freshman he easily matched the intelligence of most upper classmen, he never felt the need to isolate himself from the average Joe like myself. He also had a passion for knowledge and he identified with the struggle of his people. In the words of James Brown, Irv was “Black and Proud” and did not mind saying it loud. In fact, Irv was so proud of his heritage that we nicknamed him Black.

I remember the first oratorical contest I attended and watched Irv go to work. He breezed through the first few rounds and made it to the finals. I have to be honest, I was nervous when I found out he was competing against this other freshmen by the name of Furman Fordham, also known as Pucky. I was blown away the first time I heard him speak too. His gift was his command of words; he was like a walking dictionary. We ran in different circles, but I admired him from a far. He was one of those guys who made me feel like I did not stand a chance at the collegiate level. He reminded me of one of those “most likely to succeed” guys and every time I heard him address the crowd, I kept thinking to myself, if those are the type of skills you need to succeed in college, I don’t stand a chance. To my surprise, the contest was a dogfight. They went back and forth and back and forth. Pucky was doing his usual verbal acrobatics while Irv orchestrated a well-balanced speech arrayed with verbal, theatrical and contemplative skills. It was a tough decision for the judges, but to my surprise Irv pulled off the upset. I walked away from that contest a changed man. Watching another black male freely articulate in the way Irv did that day gave me the confidence that I needed to start believing in myself and my abilities. Not to mention the fact I discovered that Irv was Haitian and the fact that he was a first generation American inspired me even further. I knew if Irv’s people could come to this country and succeed and help him overcome his obstacles to become the person he was, there was no excuse for me. Irv had the blue print; the competitive advantage and I needed to sit under his feet so I could learn from him.