Brayden, Melissa - How Sweet It Is

It was everything. Molly covered Amalia’s hand and met her eyes in gratitude. “Thank you for telling me that.” She headed to her car. “Did Jordan say where she was headed before Chicago, by chance?”

Amalia shrugged her shoulders. “Only that she needed to be alone.”

That’s when it clicked. “Thanks, Amalia. I’ll see you soon to finalize the menu for Joseph’s birthday party.” She didn’t so much as wait for an answer.

Five minutes later, she parked her car and made her way to the soccer field. Dusk was hanging on, and the temperature was dropping. She fleetingly wished she’d brought a light jacket with her, but the thought faded to the background when she saw Jordan’s silhouette. Her stomach clenched and her chest warmed, and for a moment, Molly just had to stare at her.

She was midfield and her hair, which was pulled away from her face in a clip, blew lightly in the breeze as the yellow turned to pink in the sky above. There was a bandage across the corner of her forehead and she felt guilty at just the sight. When Molly finally sat in the grass next to her, Jordan turned and studied her, before looking back out over the green grass and waning sky.

Okay, so Jordan didn’t look overly excited to see her, but she didn’t exactly glare at her either. If anything, Jordan’s eyes seemed pensive, almost sad. Understanding the need for solitude and enjoying the quiet herself, Molly chose not to say anything just yet. Instead, she reached for Jordan’s hand and pulled it into her lap. It felt really good, the warmth of Jordan’s hand in hers as they watched the sky. Actually, just being near her made the stress of the last two days start to slide away. There was something to that, she noted to herself. Being close to Jordan seemed to be an antidote to just about everything these days.

And then finally, when the very last of the light began to make its dip, she squeezed Jordan’s hand. “I’m sorry.” Jordan turned her face, and it was all Molly could do not to touch her cheek. But somehow she didn’t feel like she had permission for that. There was something guarded about the way Jordan looked at her, like she could do real damage. And she knew it was true. They were dangerous together, the pair of them.

Somehow, it didn’t deter her from what she was beginning to understand.

“I need to apologize too. I shouldn’t have forced the Cassie issue. It was insensitive.” Jordan said.

“I shouldn’t have kicked you out.”

Jordan played with the grass. “No, you shouldn’t have. But you did what you needed at the time. I get that.”

It was the politically correct answer, but she needed more. She needed Jordan , and that meant total and complete honesty between them. It wasn’t going to be easy.

“Cassie and I didn’t have a perfect relationship. We were normal people who fought over normal things like her work schedule conflicting with our plans. Or my tendency to be overly sensitive and resistant to change. I hated that she gave in to your parents and their every whim. But she was mine and I was hers and we had a good life.”

Jordan looked at her, listening.

“And you’re right. She’s been gone four years now and she’s still a big part of my life. I don’t have the magic solution to make you okay with that. But I also don’t know how to just let go of who I am because I’ve discovered feelings for someone new. Does that mean this other part of me doesn’t exist anymore? That the first part of my life is null and void? And that leaves us in a difficult spot.”

Jordan nodded and stared at the field. Molly would have given anything to know what she was thinking. But there was more to say.

“I do know one thing. When I thought that something had happened to you yesterday, my world felt like it had been torn wide open. And while I flashed back to the time I lost Cassie, it was losing you that panicked me yesterday. Yesterday was about you. And if I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have left you at the clinic. I’d have been there for you.”

Jordan turned to her then, and threaded her fingers through Molly’s.

And she knew Jordan understood.

“Thank you for telling me that. I know it’s not easy.”

Molly nodded.

“You’re not alone though,” Jordan said. “I miss her too. I got so caught up with my life, my job. I didn’t take advantage of those last few years that she was here. Now, I feel like I threw away the last bit of time I had left with my best friend. And I hate myself for it and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.” Her eyes filled with tears and Molly’s heart broke at the sight.

Molly scooted in closer. “Hey, hey. Stop. You can’t think like that. If you carry that kind of guilt around, it will break you, Jordan. And you are too good a person for that.” She then did what she’d wanted to do since she sat down. She leaned over, cradled Jordan’s face in her hands, and looked her straight in the eye.

Jordan nodded silently as tears streamed down her face. With her thumbs, Molly brushed them away before wrapping her arms around Jordan from the side and holding on, her chin nestled on Jordan’s shoulder. They sat there in silence for a long time as Jordan regained her composure.

Finally, Molly broke the silence. “Have you noticed the number eight popping up an extra lot?”

“Cassie’s stupid Magic Eight Ball. I say that now, but I was so jealous of that thing.” Despite the emotion, there was a tiny grin on Jordan’s face at the memory.

“I remember. Well, I think eights are her way of checking in on us. Saying hey.”

Jordan nodded. “Yeah. Maybe it’s selective perception, but I have noticed it.”

“See? She’s still with you, Jordan.”

“Maybe you’re right.” She wiped the rest of her tears away as they watched the edge of the pink sky slip away. “I’m not generally a crier.”

“I know. We’ve met, remember?”

“Right. That whole known-you-all-my-life thing.”

“In surprising news, there seems to be lots more to discover. I like that.”

Jordan turned her face to Molly’s. “Me too. I like discovering you.” Her voice carried sincerity, and Molly found her incredibly attractive in this moment. Jordan’s eyes dipped to her mouth, and she felt her stomach do that flutter that Jordan often set in motion.

“We should probably kiss or something. You know, to make up officially.”

Jordan moved in slowly. “Yeah? I do think it’s kind of a rule.”

“Can’t be breaking rules,” Molly murmured before she descended on Jordan’s mouth. And there was no arguing that it was a pretty awesome kiss. She sank into it, feeling it in her center and cascading downward, that wonderful flood of feeling Jordan always left her with. She moved closer, her hands running up the back of Jordan’s neck, into her hair. Jordan’s hands held her waist and pulled her gently onto her lap, where the wonderful, socks knocking kissing continued. They were alone under the great big sky, and though she didn’t have answers to the important questions, Molly knew the connection between them was more than enough in this moment.

Before the spark between them caught fire right there on the soccer field, Molly made a point to slow their pace before pulling her mouth away entirely. It had been one hell of a good make out session and she was breathless as a result.

She turned in Jordan’s arms and nestled her back against her, facing the soccer field. Jordan held her snugly from behind. “So all in all, it was a pretty good first date, right?” Jordan asked.

Molly laughed. “Well, yeah. I mean, objectively. In fact, I don’t know how we’re going to top it.”

“I could kick you out next time. It could be our thing.”

“I like it. Creative.”