The Lutra - Jacques, Brian - Redwall 09 - The Pearls Of Lutra

The good Sister's paw was wagging furiously at the miscreants. "That's enough of your impudence, Dibbun. No breakfast for either of you until this mess is cleared up! Arven, get a broom and sweep up those feathers. Tansy, get needle and thread, repair that pillow and stuff those feathers back into it, this instant!"

Cicely stood over them as they went to work, still scolding. "When you've done that, I want to see those beds made, properly! Oh yes, and while you're up here, you can shake out the rush mats at the window and dust the shelves and cupboard tops!"

She stormed out, slamming the door. Immediately Arven placed his paws on his sides and began imitating Sister Cicely. "Tanzee panzee brush uppa floor, worra mess I never see'd in my life! Dearie grayshuss, likkle villains!"

Tansy shook with laughter and sneezed until tears were running down her cheeks. Then a knock sounded upon the door.

"Can't come in 'less you a villain or a maggit!" Arven called cheerfully.

Teasel the hogwife popped her head around the doorjamb. "Great seasons, m'dears, what's bin goin' on up 'ere?"

Tansy stopped sneezing and regained control of herself. "Oh, nothing really, missus Stump, it was an accident, but Sister Cicely said we've got to clean the whole sick bay before we're allowed any breakfast. Come on, Arven, get sweeping."

Teasel chuckled as she watched the youngsters floundering about amidst the feathers. "You'll be 'ere this time tomorrer at that rate, young 'uns. Get you down to brekkist, I'll clean up 'ere. 'Twon't take long."

Arven and Tansy hugged the kindly hogwife gingerly, careful of her spikes. Teasel patted their heads, saying, "Go on with you, be off afore I changes me mind!"

The pair fled downstairs, yelling their thanks.

Tansy and Arven joined the serving line at the kitchen doorway. Clecky, who was before them, turned to Gerul and remarked, "D'you see what I mean? Strange creatures in this place, wot? Look here behind me, a little hedgehog bird, jolly odd, eh?"

Tansy, picking feathers out of her headspikes, said, "I'm a hedgehog, sir, my name's Tansy, and he's Arven, my friend."

The brown and white mottled hare made an elegant leg and bowed. “Pleased tmeet you, I'm sure. My name's Clecky and this chap is known as Gerul."

Tansy nodded. "I know."

Clecky wrinkled his nose inquisitively at her. "Oh? An' how pray did you know, missie?"

Tansy was taken by surprise. "Er, er, I think somebeast told me .. ." Thinking quickly, she took Clecky's mind off the enquiry by saying, "You're next, sir, you'd better jump to it if you want breakfast!"

The mention of food distracted the hare, who began jostling Gerul. "Not so fast, y'feathered frump, it's my turn t'get bally well served. Don't fret y'beak, there'll be plenty left for you!"

The owl lost out; he was forced to step aside as his companion loaded up an oversized platter. "Plenty left fer me, d'you say? Ah, I'm not so sure with you helpin' yerself to all an' sundry, sir." He turned and winked at Arven. "Sure he's a tumble creature at eatin' that one is, 'tis a fact."

Tansy steered Arven to a back bench, well out of the way of Sister Cicely. They sat between the molemaid Diggum and Viola bankvole. Tansy kept her head down, applying herself hungrily to hot oatcakes, honey and a beaker of greensap milk.

Viola sipped mint tea, not looking at Tansy but pointedly remarking aloud to others within hearing range, "I've heard that certain creatures won't be allowed to take Dibbuns out into Mossflower Wood again, 'cos they get into trouble and come back home very, very late, and filthy too, smocks torn, dirty paws'n'faces. Anyhow, that's what I've heard!"

Diggum looked up from a bowl of barleymeal. "Hoo urr, who'm tol' ee that, missie Voler?"

Viola pursed her lips prissily. "That's for me to know and you t'find out, so there!"

Arven gave a wink to Diggum; the mole twitched her nose knowingly in return and pointed across to another table further up. "Wurr et thatbeast oo tol' ee, that 'un thurr?"

Viola turned to look, craning her neck. "Where?"

As she turned away, Arven slid Diggum's bowl of warm barleymeal porridge to one side, pointing and saying, "There, tha' likklemouse, can't y'see 'im?"

Viola slid off the bench and stood on tip-paw. "Where, which creature do you mean, silly?"

Arven quietly placed the porridge bowl in the spot where Viola had been sitting, and said, "Too late, 'e finished an' gone now."

Viola heaved a sigh of exasperation and sat down with a flounce.

Splodge!

Martin, who was sitting at the top table with the elders and Redwall's two latest guests, heard the wail set up by Viola bank-vole.

"What's going on over there?" he said, starting to rise from his seat.

Auma pressed him back down with a firm paw. “Only Dibbuns and young 'uns fooling about, I'll attend to it."

Rollo peered over the top of his glasses. "It's Viola, I might have known, if she sits next to Tansy there's bound t'be trouble."

The hedgehog maid's name stirred Clecky's memory, and he leaned across to Martin. "A word in your shell-like ear, old chap," he said. "I was just thinkin', I introduced myself an' Gerul to that pretty hogmaid this mornin' in the breakfast line. Funny thing, when I told her our names she said she already knew them. Well, I jolly well asked her how, an' she muttered summat about already bein' told by some beast or other. Point is, all your young 'uns were abed by the time we reached the Abbey. How could she have known my name if she was fast asleep?''

Martin stroked his chin pensively as the answer became clear. "Hmmm, our little eavesdropper on the stairs last night."

Gerul gazed owlishly at a half-demolished cheese flan on his plate. "Hah! Yer right, sir, indeed y'are. Like me ould mother used t'say, a hog on the stairs is worth two hares in a hamper, an' that's a fact, so 'tis!"

Martin smiled at the irrepressible owl. "Your mother must have been a very wise bird, Gerul. Hush now, here's Auma bringing the culprits for sentence."

The badger Mother led Viola and Tansy up to the main table, halting them both in front of Abbot Durral. "Stand up straight now, both of you, don't slouch," she said sternly. "Tell the Father Abbot what you've been up to, the truth mind!"

Viola's voice was a tearful whimper. "She made me sit in a bowl of porridge, Father Abbot!"

Tansy's voice was indignant. "No I never! Even though you were teasing me!"

Hiding a smile. Abbot Durral stroked his whiskers slowly. "Fighting among yourselves, little maids, this is very serious! What d'you say, Martin?''

The Warriormouse kept his face straight. "Make them promise never to do it again. Kiss and make up, I say."

Tansy was just about to protest again when she happened to glance at the table where Arven was shifting from paw to paw looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Well, all right," she said stiffly, giving Viola a swift peck, "I'm sorry I made you sit in the porridge. I'll never do it again. Sorry!"

Auma shook a huge paw at Viola. "Wipe that smile off your face, miss. Viola, apologize to Tansy."

The bankvole kept her lips pursed tight as they brushed her enemy's face. "Sorry for teasing you, never do it again!"

"There!" said Martin, sitting back, satisfied that justice had been done.

Auma gave him a look that would have curdled milk. "Is that all?" she demanded.

Glancing meaningfully at Martin, Rollo the Recorder interrupted. "We can't have young maids arguing and teasing and sitting in good porridge. I think they should be taught a lesson."

Then Arven and Diggum wandered up sheepishly paw in paw. They had decided to own up to their part in the trouble.

"Zurr h'Abbot, et wurr moi porridge as she sitted in."

"An' I'm a maggit, I maked 'er look away so she din't see."