Brian Jacques - Redwall #01 - Lord Brocktree

Here he bent and scarred a furrow in the ground with his claw. "Who be's bolden enuff to step o'er ee loine an' wrassle oi?"

Several of the shrews lined up, rubbing their paws in anticipation. Gurth signaled the first one. "You'm lukk a moighty beast, zurr. Step ee oop!"

The shrew charged recklessly. Gurth sidestepped neatly, cuffing him as he hurtled by. The shrew somersaulted once and landed flat on his back, completely winded.

"Hurr, gudd h'effort, zurr. Oi'll take two of ee next."

Two more impetuous shrews flung themselves at him. Gurth did no more than grab their tails, twist and send them crashing head-on into one another. He bowed. "Thankee, gennelbeasts. Ennywunn else troi they'm luck?"

A much bigger, older shrew crossed the line and went into an expert wrestler's crouch, holding his paws ready to grip. Smiling broadly at him, Gurth accepted the grip.

"Yeeowowow! Leggo! Yer breakin' me paws!"

Gurth turned to Dotti, still holding his opponent. "Oi tole ee, miz Dott, they'm gudd, but not gudder'n oi!"

He released the shrew and ambled back to his seat. However, another shrew, bolder than his compatriots, leapt on Gurth's back and locked all four paws around the mole's neck in a submission stranglehold. Gurth reached behind, tweaked the shrew's tail experimentally, then gave it a sharp tug to the right. His opponent fell to the floor, frozen in the same position as when he landed on Gurth's back. Smiling and shaking his head, the champion wrestling mole sat down beside Dotti.

"Hurr hurr hurr. Ee'm wurr a cunnen h'aminal, miz, but goin' agin ee rools. Oi'll let 'im lay thurr awhoile. May'ap 'twill teach 'im ee manner or two."

Dotti gazed adoringly at her molefriend. "I say, you were magnificent! Would you teach me to wrestle like that, Gurth? Please!"

"Burr aye, 'ow cudd oi afuse such an' 'andsome creetur as ee, marm? Usll start a-trainin' this vurry h'evenin'."

Dotti winked at Lord Brocktree. "See, the old fatal beauty always does the trick, sah."

They lingered at the shrew camp until late evening, and finally accepted Grenn's invitation to stay overnight. Even then, Ruff and Gurth had become such firm favorites that the shrews pleaded with them to extend their visit. Dotti liked being with the shrews. She enjoyed their company, and being garrulous and talkative herself, she joined in all the arguments with gusto. Lord Brocktree took quite a bit of convincing that he should take a few days off from his quest, but under the combined persuasive powers of his three friends he yielded gruffly. The Badger Lord would not admit it, but he had become very fond of the hogbabe Skittles and was loath to part from the little fellow. He hid his feelings by pretending that Skittles was an unwanted pest. They wandered the camp together, the tiny hedgehog seated astride the badger's sword hilt, up on his friend's huge shoulders, carrying on lively conversations.

"Get down from there, you wretch. It's like having a big boulder perched on my back, you great lump!"

"You make Skikkles geddown, I choppa your 'ead off wiv dis sword, B'ock!"

"Oh, well, I suppose you'd better stay up there. Keep to the hilt, thoughdon't go near that blade, you nuisance!"

"C'mon, B'ock, gee up, we go lookin' for berries!"

"Great seasons o' famine, will somebeast rid me of this pestilence? What sort of berries d'you want, eh?"

"Nice sweety ones, dat's wot Skikkles like."

Ruff sat with Log a Log Grenn, sampling shrewbeer and chuckling at the antics of Skittles and Brocktree. "Will ye lookit him, marm. Big softie. That liddle 'og has Brock twirled about his paw! Ahoy there, Dotti, have ye wrestled that mole to a standstill yet?"

The haremaid neatly tripped her instructor, so that he fell sitting next to Ruff. Gurth smiled approvingly. "No, zurr, miz Dott bain't winned oi yet, but 'er soon will. She'm a gurt clever wrasslerlurns quicker'n anybeast oi ever h'instructered, burr aye!"

Dotti sat with them, accepting a beaker of dandelion and burdock cordial from Grenn. "Huh, don't listen t'that fat fibber. I'm sore as a peeled onion all over from bein' blinkin' well thrown by him. Still, I am learnin' one or two jolly good wrestlin' wheezesbreakfalls, holds, locks an' whatnot, wot."

Grenn poured cordial for Gurth. "Mayhap you'll need 'em if yore bound t'follow Lord Brock to the mountain by the seas. From what he tells me his dreams are worried. He sees visions of great trouble there."

Dotti sipped her delicious drink, which had been cooling in the stream for a night and a day. "Well, he could be right, marm. Badger Lords ain't like the rest of us. They're fated beasts who see strange things."

The shrew Chieftain was gnawing her lip, staring off into space, when Ruff nudged her. "Go on, Grenn, say it. You wants t'come with us, don't ye?"

She stood up and stretched before answering. "Guosim shrews need somethin' t'do. Look at 'em, cookin', wrestlin', arguin'. Huh, we've been too long in one place now. Nothin' better for shrews than havin' somethin' t'dokeeps them up t'the line. Aye, Ruff, if'n ye'll have us, the Guosim are with you all the way!"

All four clasped paws. Grenn was highly pleased, now that she had made her decision. Gurth twiddled his digging claws politely, asking a question which was puzzling him. "Whoi do ee be called Guosims, marm, furrgive moi h'iggerance?"

Grenn explained proudly about the shrew tradition. "Guosim. Guerrilla Union Of Shrews In Mossflower, that's what the letters of our name stand for. I'm called Log a Log because all shrew Chieftains are. We're rovers, bold waterbeasts and fierce warriors, sworn to uphold good an' defeat evil. All Guosim shrews are bound under oath to help one another in battle."

Gurth winked. "Purty yoosful to 'ave along, oi'd say, marm!"

Lord Brocktree returned, both paws full of small hard pears which he spread on the ground before lifting Skittles down to earth. The badger sighed. "Couldn't find any berries, but the pestilence here came across these wild pears, sweet, but hard as stones. He wouldn't rest until we'd picked some, dreadful rogue!"

Skittles seated himself on the badger's footpaw. "Well, sh'oos be good cookers, they do sumfin wiv 'em."

Grenn picked up a pear and tasted it. "He's right. We've got lots of sweet chestnuts from last autumn. Once these 'ere pears are stewed down the cooks can make some lovely pear'n'chestnut flans."

The hogbabe looked up and winked with both eyes. "See, B'ock, I tol' you. Make nice flangs. Glenn, Skikkle be's 'ungry. I never 'ave a flang, mus' be nice!"

Dotti took the hogbabe's paw.

"Come on then, famine face, gather 'em up an' we'll go an' lend a paw with the shrewcooks."

When Brocktree heard the news that the Guosim were joining them, he was overjoyed, though he changed his plans on the spot. "Right, no more lying around here. I vote that we break camp in the morning and get under way!"

Ruff objected. "Ahoy there, Brock, hold yer paddles, matey. There's me, Gurth, Dotti, Grenn an' about a hunnerd shrews. If'n we wants to lie 'round for a day or two then you'll find yore prob'ly outvoted!"

Lord Brocktree's eyes told the otter that he was not about to have his decision overruled. Swinging forth his battle blade, he stuck it quivering into the ground. "Let's be reasonable about this, friend. Let me explain the rules. One Badger Lord carries two hundred votes and his sword carries another hundred. Agreed?"

Ruff looked from the sword to the badger. Sunlight gleamed from the blade, lighting Brocktree's eyes with a formidable gleam. He smiled nervously at his huge friend. "Reason, that's wot I likes, mate. Vote carried. We go after brekkist tomorrer!"

************************************

************************************

Book Two

At the Court of King Bucko also entitledThe Tribulations of a Haremaid