Brian Jacques - Rakkety Tam

With stew, new-baked bread and some honey and preserved fruit, they dined thankfully.

Mister Muskar produced a gourd of his special bilberry and apple cordial. “I was hiding this from the scum.”

After a while, Yoofus strolled in, washing his paws off with streamwater. He accepted his platter gratefully. “Ah well, that’s that! Er, ye don’t mind me sayin’, mate, but ye’ve got me pretty little dagger stowed in yore belt. I’ll thank ye to return it.”

Deftly catching the blade which Doogy tossed to him, Yoofus eyed a small stringed instrument hanging on the wall. “Is that a manjaleero, sir? Faith, ’tis long seasons since I saw one of those. Could I try it, sir?”

Mister Muskar took it down. “Be my guest.”

The water vole twiddled the tiny carved pegs, tuning it until he was satisfied at the tone. He winked at the young Muskars. “Shall I give ye a bit of an ould song?”

The little dormice nodded eagerly. Yoofus took a swig of Muskar’s special cordial and strummed a chord. “Right then, this is an ould ditty me grandma used to sing. I wrote it meself this mornin’.”

He launched straight into the lively air.

“There’s some likes the sportin’ an’ throwin’ the ball,

but I love the howlin’ an’ fightin’ an’ all.

So if yore in a ruction just give a loud call,

an’ meself will come chargin’ to aid yeh!

I’ve walloped a weasel an’ stiffened a stoat,

I can beat any durty ould vermin afloat.

An’ if I grab a lizard or newt by his throat,

sure he’ll wish he’d stayed home with his mammy!

I’ve fought with a ferret an’ rousted a rat,

I biffed a big fox, aye, an’ laid him out flat.

I’m as tough an’ ferocious as any wildcat,

mind yer manners when Yoofus comes callin’!

One mornin’ I strolled all alone by the lake,

an’ spied a great serpent whose name was MacSnake.

I seized hold of his tail an’ gave him such a shake,

that the adder became a subtracter!

If there’s ever a chance for a row or a fight,

I’ll battle all day an’ long into the night,

an’ put all those baggy-nosed vermin to flight,

that’s providin’ I’m home for me dinner!

I got home last night an’ me mammy did say,

‘Have you been out scrappin’ the whole livelong day?’

She spanked me young tail in her ould-fashioned way,

an’ sent me off to bed with no supper!”

30

The fire had burned low, and the young dormice were asleep. Lupinia Muskar picked up her broom, then sighed and cast it aside. “I’ll make a start on the cleaning tomorrow. Oh, for a peaceful night’s rest without vermin belching and snoring all around us! Thank you both, I don’t know what we’d have done without your help. If there’s ever anything me or my family can do for you, then just ask.”

Doogy rolled himself in his plaid cloak by the embers. “Mayhaps ye could tell me the way tae Redwall Abbey, marm. We’ll be headin’ for there after we’ve visited Yoofus’s wife at their home on the morrow.”

Mister Muskar pointed. “It’s two days’ journey downstream. There’s a raft just upstream that belonged to the vermin. You can take it and sail most of the way. When you see the rapids at the big east bend, leave the raft and walk west into the woodlands. You’ll sight Redwall after a while.”

Yoofus had settled down in a comfy old armchair. “A raft, ye say? That’ll be grand, I like rafts.”

Doogy was about to drop off when something occurred to him. “By the bye, Yoofus, have ye seen the big drum around? Ah’d almost forgotten about it.”

The water vole yawned. “Oh, that ould thing. The vermin left it outside on the streambank ’cos there was no room in here. Don’t ye fret, Doogy mate, ’twill still be there in the mornin’. Sleep tight now.”

No longer held hostage by the vermin, they all slumbered peacefully in the calm, homely warmth.

Shortly before dawn, Doogy was wakened by one of the young dormice. “Sir, where’s your friend, Mister Lightpaw? He’s not here.”

The Highlander sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Not here, laddie? Then where’s the rascal gone, eh?”

The young dormouse had no idea, so Doogy arose and went out to the streambank to look. He was back inside immediately, girding on his numerous weapons.

Lupinia Muskar was rekindling the fire to cook breakfast. She noted the concern on Doogy’s face. “Mr. Plumm, what is it? Is something the matter?”

The Highlander clapped a paw to his belt. “Mah travellin’ companion’s decamped, marm. Aye, an’ he’s taken the big drum an’ mah dirk, too!”

She roused her husband. “Muskar, go with Mister Plumm. See if you can find his friend. Hurry, dear!”

The dormouse blinked sleep from his eyes. “Come on, sir, we’ll find him. He can’t have gone far.”

But Muskar’s opinion proved incorrect when he drew back a screen of bushes upstream. “Oh dear, it looks like Mister Lightpaw has sailed off on the raft. He’s probably heading home.”

Doogy set his jaw grimly. “D’ye know where he lives, sir?”

Muskar nodded upstream. “Mister Lightpaw has a home up that way, on the edge of a pond. I’ve been there before.”

In no mood for chitchat, Doogy grabbed the dormouse’s paw. “Aye, well ye can show me the way. Come on, Muskar. Ah’m wantin’ tae have a wee chat wi’ that saucy robber!”

“Robber!” Muskar echoed in shocked tones. “Do you mean to tell me that Mister Lightpaw’s a robber?”

The Highlander yanked the dormouse energetically along the streambank, muttering fiercely, “Aye, a robber, thief, pilferer, purloiner, looter! Call him what ye will. Yoofus steals anythin’ that comes tae paw. He’d have the eyes oot o’ yer head if’n ye weren’t watchin’ him!”

Muskar Muskar looked bewildered. “Good grief, who’d have thought it! Mister Lightpaw, a thief. And he seemed such a nice and jolly sort.”

Doogy smiled in spite of himself. “Och, it just goes tae show, ye never know who’s livin’ in the area nowadays, eh?”

They followed the streambank, then cut off west. As soon as Doogy and Muskar came in sight of the lake, they immediately spotted Yoofus outside his dwelling, busily polishing the sides of the big drum. Every now and then he would strike the drum a few taps with a stick he had gripped in his thick little tail.

His wife Didjety came out to complain. “Will ye stop beltin’ that great thing, it’s drivin’ me scatty! Yore like a babby with a new toy, so y’are.”

Yoofus gave the drum a few more raps. “Ah sure, ye’ve got no ear for music at all, me little sugar plum. Will ye just hark t’that grand boom!”

He was striking the drum again as his visitors walked up. The volethief showed neither apprehension nor surprise at the sight of Doogy. “Faith, an’ wasn’t I just sayin’ to meself that me good mate Doogy Plumm’d be along soon. I’d an idea that ould Muskar knew the way, so I was sure he’d bring ye. Will ye not listen t’the great boom o’ this drum. ’Tis a sound for heroes an’ warriors, so ’tis!”

Didjety greeted Muskar before questioning her husband. “Who’s that serious-lookin’ squirrel, a friend of yores?”

Yoofus gave the drum a resounding roll with his stick. “That he is, me darlin’, a true blue pal in all weathers. Why don’t ye take Mister Muskar inside an’ put the kettle on for some nice mint tea? Meself an’ Mister Plumm have business t’talk. We’ll join ye in a tick.”

The moment they were alone, Doogy spoke in a flat, dangerous voice. “Where’s mah dirk?”