Brian Jacques - Redwall #20 - Eulalia!

A look of surprise was stamped on the rat's features as the Guosim chieftain's blade pierced his throat. He staggered backward into the stream as Maudie skipped neatly forward, relieving him of the babe. Swinging Yik up onto her shoulders she spoke sharply to him. "Stay there an' hold on tight!" Whirling like lightning, Mad Maudie proved why she was the Salamandastron Regimental Boxing Champion.

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Thudbangwallopsmack!

A Brownrat collapsed like a falling brick wall, under four thunderous punches from the haremaid. Luglug had crossed blades with another one, as Maudie spun around, kicking the spear from a vermin's grasp, catching it in midair, and breaking it over its owner's skull.

Little Yik was howling like a wolf, dancing on Maudie's shoulders and tugging at her ears. "Bangbang! Punch 'is nose! Jolly good, more, more!"

As Luglug ran his adversary through, Maudie, who could not duck and weave so well, with Yik dancing and yanking away on her, took a sharp blow to her ribs from a spearbutt. The shrew chieftain leapt in, fending off her attacker. He roared, "Let's git out o' here, miss, double quick!"

They turned and ran back from the streambank. One of the Brownrats took out a carved bone whistle, and began blowing the alarm. Two more vermin jumped from the bushes either side of the fugitives. Fortunately, they were as surprised to encounter the escapers as Maudie and Luglug were to see them pop out like that. Both the haremaid and the shrew kicked out fiercely, knocking their foes aside. They hurtled on their way, with shouts welling behind them from several directions.

"There they go, stop 'em!"

"Stringle, I sees 'em, they're up ahead!"

"Circle out an' cut 'em off, quick!"

Luglug judged by the hubbub building up either side of them, plus the shaking of shrubbery, that they would soon be surrounded. He cut off into the woodlands at a new angle, panting to Maudie, "If'n we don't shake 'em off, we're right in the soup, missy!"

Dodging round tree trunks, the haremaid followed him, with Yik clinging to her ears, thoroughly enjoying his wild ride, squeaking merrily. "Right inna soup, fasterer, mizzymiz, heeheehee!"

Now the pounding of vermin paws was all about them,

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the area was teeming with mud-coated Brownrats. Then Gruntan Kurdly's shouts were heard. He had joined the hue and cry and was running his litter bearers ragged, now that his voice was back to normal. "Move yore slop-coated carcasses! Noggo, can ye see 'em, where in the name o' hellgates are they?"

The scout bellowed back, "I can't see 'em, Boss, but they're somewhere round 'ere, I can 'ear a liddle 'un squeakin'!"

Maudie was reaching up to silence Yik again, when she stumbled and tripped. She had the presence of mind to grab the shrewbabe from his perch on her shoulders as she fell. Clutching Yik close to her, she landed faceup in an old, dried-out streambed. Luglug came leaping in after her. Fortunately the trench bottom was padded thickly, with seasons of moss and dead leaf loam. Maudie cast a swift glance up, at the inward-curving banks above them. A sudden ruse popped into her head, she whispered to Luglug, "Get under this ledge an' cover ourselves with loam, it's our only blinkin' chance, wot!"

They rolled under the curve of the overhead bank, and began building up the masses of crisp, brown leaves and damp moss around them. Yik wrinkled his little nose. "Us right inna soup, I not like it 'ere!"

Luglug muttered fiercely, "Give 'im t'me, miss!"

Maudie passed the babe over to the Guosim chieftain.

The intensity of Luglug's tone scared Yik into silence. "Now you lissen t'me, ye liddle pestilence. We're goin' to hide 'ere as best we can, an' just one word, one squeak, even one loud breath from ye, an' I'll paddle yore tail so 'ard that yore teeth'U hurt. Don't speak, just nod if'n ye unnerstand me!"

The chastened shrewbabe nodded vigorously.

The trio lay to one side of the ditch curve, under a blanket of dead vegetation. Two Brownrats came wandering up the middle of the streambed. Maudie tried to breathe quietly as they drew close to the hiding place. Both rats

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carried spears, which they used to search the dead leaves with, jabbing the points wherever they fancied.

Sssshtukk!

An iron spearpoint almost grazed Maudie's ear as it buried itself in the loam. Gruntal Kurdly gestured irately to his litter bearers as they carried him close to the dry streambed.

"Down, put the thing down, block'eads, d'ye want to tip me inter that ditch, ain't I injured enuff?" The weary bearers placed the litter down gently. In the streambed, one of the Brownrats was raising his spear for a thrust, which if it had landed, would have pierced Luglug's stomach. Kurdly glared irately at the pair. "Wot d'yer think youse two are doin' down there?"

The vermin halted his spear in mid-thrust. "Er, lookin' fer the sh'ews an' that punchin' rabbit, Boss."

The Brownrat chieftain shook his head in disbelief. "An' pray tell me, d'yer see 'em anywhere?"

The rat let his spearpoint droop uselessly. "Er, no, Boss."

Dried mud cracked from their leader's blistered features as he bellowed at the hapless pair. "Then stop foolin' about an' git up 'ere! Go an' do somethin' useful, find me some eggs an' boil 'em up, afore I perish from 'unger, ye numb-brained nincompoops!" The two Brownrats scrambled to obey Gruntan.

Maudie breathed quietly to Luglug, "Good grief, mate, that was a lucky break!"

The Guosim chieftain snorted softly. "A lucky break, y'say? Lyin' no more'n a logboat's length from that evil monster, surrounded by a horde o' vermin. Y'don't mind me askin', miss, but do ye call that lucky?"

Aware of the importance of quietness, Yik whispered, "Wot's a punchin' rabbit, miz, the rat called you h'a punchin' rabbit?"

Maudie glared at Yik. "Don't annoy me, cheeky nose, or I may be jolly well tempted to show you!"

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The shrewbabe wrinkled his nose insolently. "You punch me an' I bite ya again!"

Luglug placed a paw across the shrewbabe's mouth. He whispered urgently as he saw Maudie's paw clench, "Don't ye dare strike a babe, shame on ye...."

Like lightning, the haremaid's paw shot between Luglug and Yik. She had heard the leaves rustle, and glimpsed the flat-scaled head rearing behind the shrews. In seasons to come, the Hon. Maude Mugsberry Thropple, known to her regimental comrades as Mad Maudie, would recall that she had gained the distinction of knocking a snake out cold, with one punch, that day.

And what a punch it was! A sharp, straight right, which hit the reptile's snout like a flying boulder. The snake's eyes immediately clouded over, the coils relaxed, and it lay amid the loam, like a wet piece of string. Luglug tightened his hold on Yik's mouth, he stared in awe at the snake.

"Seasons o' slaughter, where'd that thing come from?"

Maudie blew on her paw, watching the opposite bank-top with relief. The brief incident had gone unnoticed by Kurdly and his vermin, who were painfully occupied in cracking off the mud, which pulled the stings out as it was removed. The haremaid turned her attention back to the unconscious reptile.

"I say, quite a good-sized brute, doncha think?"

Luglug inched away from the snake, his eyes tightly shut. "Ugh, I wonder why I never smelled it, I kin always smell adders, long afore I sees 'em."

Maudie lifted the snake's head, inspected it and let it flop back down. "You couldn't smell it because it ain't an adder, old scout, it's a bally grass snake an' a bloomin' whopper of a beast if ever I saw one."

Luglug nodded agreement, adding, "It's big enough to swallow liddle Yik in one go!"

Reaching out carefully, Maudie broke off several strands

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of hedge parsley, growing nearby. Plaiting them together, she fashioned a tough piece of halter. "Indeed, this brute most likely had friend Yik firmly on today's luncheon menu. Good job I got the old straight right in first, wot!" She began tying the snake's mouth tight with the tough parsley strands, knotting it securely.