Gerri Hill - One Summer Night

"You don't have to tell me you're sorry," Kelly said quietly.

"I'm okay now.” Jo stood.

"Do you want me to find a suit?"

"No. I'll do it," she said and walked to his closet.

He only owned one suit. The one he had worn to Beth's funeral. It was only fitting that he should wear it to his own, as well. She opened his closet door and silently moved his clothes aside, finding the suit tucked back in the corner. She took it out, brushed the lint from it and hung it on the doorknob. She found his best dress shirt and then sorted through the few ties that he owned to find the dark red one, the one he had worn for Beth.

She stood staring into his closet for a long time, seeing the clothes that were so familiar to her. All his things, what was she going to do with them? She couldn't very well throw them out, as if they meant nothing to her. Then again, she couldn't let the house stay as it was, either. She suddenly realized that going through his house was going to be the hardest thing of all . . . so many memories.

Kelly gently touched her shoulder, bringing her back around. "Show me the boat.”

Jo nodded. "Yeah. Let's go outside."

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The boathouse was immaculate. All the gear put up just right, fishing rods hanging on the wall next to the ski equipment. As much as they liked to fish, they also enjoyed cruising the lake. So, the old bass boat had given way to a larger, more comfortable ski boat. It hung in the lift, out of the water. Jo walked over, turned the switch and watched it lower slowly into the lake. She didn’t even remember putting it up the other night.

"Do you like the water?" Jo asked. It seemed important that she should.

Kelly nodded. "I love to swim. I just learned to ski last summer though," she added, with a wink. "I bet you're pretty good."

"I used to be. I only went a few times this summer.

Mostly, we would go fishing or just cruising around."

"That's fun, too," Kelly said.

The boat bobbed gently on the water, and they climbed in. It started with one turn of the key as Harry had always kept the motor in excellent condition. Jo reversed the rudder and they slowly backed out of the slip. It was a warm day, but the wind was cool over the water. Kelly was silent, sitting opposite her in the front. Jo drove slowly around the lake, passing coves that she and Harry had fished in, boulders in the water where they had laid in the sun after swimming, and the cove with the fallen trees, a favorite bass spot. Jo pointed them all out to Kelly, who nodded and smiled at her.

Jo was remembering Harry, saying good-bye to him and the times they had shared over the years.

They passed the mansions that had sprung up in the last ten years, and Jo told her how Harry had always complained about them.

"I like your grandfather's place better," Kelly said. "It's more of a home. These are just displays of wealth, trying to prove that you have more money than your neighbor."

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"Yes, exactly."

"It's pretty out here," Kelly said later. "I've never been on Lake Travis on a boat."

"No? Where have you been?" she asked.

"Just Hippie Hollow," she grinned.

"Oh, yes. I remember," Jo said and nearly blushed. She remembered the time she had gone by it with Harry, looking for Kelly swimming nude.

Jo turned the boat around and headed back. It was very different being here without Harry, but she was glad Kelly was with her.

Back at the house, Jo went into the kitchen, thinking she should clean out Harry's refrigerator, but when she opened it and saw his things there, saw the food she had brought for their lunch that day, she just didn't have the heart. She shut it quickly.

Kelly was standing in the doorway, watching her. "All that can wait," she said gently.

"Yes. It'll have to be done, but I can't just yet."

"I'll help, when the time comes. So will Betsy and Janis."

Jo nodded and walked over to her. "You've been so nice to me these last few days. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Kelly reached for her, pulling her close. Jo moved into her arms and let herself be held.

"I'm ready to go now, I guess," she said quietly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You probably have things you need to do today."

"No. I'm all yours," Kelly replied. "Unless you'd rather be alone?"

"I don't know.” She pulled away. She was becoming too dependent on Kelly. She wanted to ask her to stay with her, to stay the night again, but she didn't. Maybe she did need to be alone, to have time to deal with his death.

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Kelly seemed to read her thoughts. "We need to take his suit. You can call me later if you need anything," she offered.

Jo smiled her thanks and nodded.

Kelly took his suit into the funeral home while Jo waited in her car. She just couldn't go in. Kelly understood.

"Let me take it. I'll be right back."

Later, when they returned to Jo’s house, Kelly took Jo in her arms and kissed her gently. Jo held her tightly, silently thanking her for all she had done.

"Please call if you need me," Kelly reminded her before leaving.

"I will," Jo promised, though she had no intention of calling. Tonight, she needed to be alone.

She let the answering machine pick up the five or six calls that came in. Most were from friends, checking on her.

Others were from colleagues at school offering their sympathy. She appreciated their thoughts but was in no mood to talk to any of them. She took a beer, sat on her deck and stared at the creek as it rushed by. Two male cardinals sat at her feeder and fought over the few remaining seeds. She watched them and smiled.

Harry was gone, yet everything remained the same. The creek still flowed, the birds still scolded her for not keeping the feeder filled, the leaves fell like they did every year at this time. Life went on.

When it was too dark to see, she went in. Thinking of the food that her friends had brought she realized she was hungry and thankful for their kindness. She made a plate and stood by the microwave, watching the dish turn round and round as it heated. She poured a glass of wine, took her plate into the living room, sat in the silence and ate.

Later, she slowly turned the pages of a photo album, watching her life go by. She cried some, but not much. The photos were all taken at happy times in her life. There were 164

many of Beth and Harry together, and she could see how much in love they were, even at the end. Harry had missed Beth terribly and now they were together again, she thought.

Harry would be happy. As much as she had tried, she had never been able to replace Beth in his life. Jo knew she would miss him so very much, but she would be okay. Life went on.

She closed the book and was surprised at how much better she felt. Putting on some soft music, she poured another glass of wine, then went to the phone to call Betsy.

She had left two messages, and Jo knew she was worried about her.

"I'm okay, really," Jo assured her.

"Is Kelly still there?"

"No. She left this afternoon."

"You know, if you need to come over, you can."

"I know, but I need to be alone. Thank you for worrying, though."

"What are friends for?"

"You're the best," Jo said.

"We'll see you tomorrow morning, then. Do you want us to pick you up?"

"No. I'll see you there," and hung up.

She thought about calling Kelly, but didn't. She didn't want to have the temptation of asking her to come over and sleep with her. That could too easily become a habit, she knew.

She finished her glass of wine, then got ready for bed.

Reaching over to where Kelly had slept the last couple of nights, she gently rubbed the sheets. Kelly had come into her life so unexpectedly. Jo was afraid of the feelings that she had for Kelly. She wouldn't allow herself to fall in love with her, of course, but she did like her an awful lot. Where their relationship would go, she didn't know, but for now she just wanted to enjoy the time they had.