When (v5) - Rebecca Stead

Then Marcus came out of his dented front door next to the garage, wearing that green army coat he always wore. He started walking down the block—toward Sal.

Even half a block behind him, I could see Sal’s body hunch and slow down. I knew what he was doing. He was looking for a way out. Should he pretend he needed to cross the street all of a sudden? That he had just remembered something he needed to buy at Belle’s? But it was a little late for that—Marcus was almost in front of him.

I could have called out to Sal at that moment. It would have been easy. He would have had an excuse to turn around and start walking away from Marcus. And then Marcus might have stopped to talk to me for a minute, and Sal would have seen that it was all okay. He could have dropped his fear of Marcus right then and there. I’ve thought about this a lot, because I realize it would have changed everything that happened later.

Instead I watched. And what Sal did was squat down and pretend to tie his shoe. It was a plea for mercy. Dropping to tie your shoe was an I-can’t-fight, I-can’t-run, I-bow-down-before-you sort of a move. Plus, just in case some hitting did occur, it protected important body parts. I kept walking while Sal crouched there on the sidewalk and Marcus walked right by without even noticing him. And then Marcus walked right by me.

Things Left Behind

“Guess what?” Annemarie said when I called her at home that night to see if she was okay. “Someone left a rose on our doormat.”

“For you?”

“I don’t know… maybe.” Of course it was for her. Who else would it be for?

“Was there anything with it? A card?”

“No. Just the rose.” Her voice sounded all thin and excited. “Weird, huh? I wonder—”

“Hey, can I ask you something? Are you not supposed to eat bread?”

She was quiet.

“It’s not a big deal, just that Julia said—”

“No,” she interrupted. “It is sort of a big deal. I should have told you. I have epilepsy—”

“Oh.”

“—and I’m not supposed to eat bread or starches. It’s this crazy diet my dad read about, but it actually works. I’m usually fine. People don’t even really know I have it, because for years I’ve hardly had any seizures at all.”

“Is that what happened today?

“Yeah. I sort of took a break from my diet. It’s been nice, working at Jimmy’s with you guys, eating whatever I want and not having anyone look at me funny or lecture me.”

Someone had lectured her, though. Julia had.

“You can still work at Jimmy’s,” I said. “Just don’t eat his crummy food.”

She laughed. “I know. Actually, my dad makes me a lunch every day. I’ve been throwing it in the garbage on the way to school. He’s pretty mad.”

That was hard to imagine.

“Anyway, my mother found this rose on our doormat when she got home from work. It’s like this really perfect-looking rose. Weird, huh?”

I let her talk about it a little more, about who might have left it, and why. I knew she wanted me to say that Colin probably did it, but I just couldn’t make myself say the words.

The Third Note

The next morning was the first really cold day of December.

“You need the jacket with the hood,” Mom rasped from her bed. Her voice never sounded normal until after coffee. “Look in the front closet.” She seemed to think that it was really helpful to lie in bed, listening to the radio and calling out weather reports. I couldn’t help thinking about how, in my book, Meg’s mother had French toast waiting for Meg in the morning. She was a single mom too, with Meg’s dad being held prisoner halfway across the universe.

I found the coat, still streaked with gray from last year’s dirty snow, and put it on. A little stiff, but it seemed to fit okay.

“Where are my gloves?” I called.

“No idea. Sorry.”

“Can I take some money?”

“Coat pocket.”

I felt around in her coat and found a five-dollar bill and three singles in one pocket and her striped scarf rolled up in the other. I grabbed the singles and the scarf.

“Bye!”

The laughing man was still asleep with his head under the mailbox. He had found some cardboard to put underneath him. Still, he must have been freezing. Some mornings, I’d seen kids banging on the mailbox and yelling, “Wake up, Kicker!” I hoped no one would do that today.

I watched my breath billowing in front of me and racewalked toward school. The sun was out but had no warmth yet. I shoved my hands in my pockets and felt a bunch of old tissues. Yuck. And the three dollars. And something else, a little piece of paper, folded in half.

I pulled it out.

I recognized your tiny handwriting right away, all wobbly and with those weird loops you put on top of your “t’s” and “l’s.”

You will want proof.

3 p.m. today: Colin’s knapsack.

Christmas Day: Tesser well.

April 27th: Studio TV-15.

P.S. Yawns do serve a purpose. They cool the brain by bringing air high into the nasal passage, which has the effect of increasing alertness.

The note was on the same dried-up paper as the first two.

3 p.m. today: Colin’s knapsack . I had absolutely no idea what that could mean, or how you knew Colin.

Christmas Day: Tesser well . This one had something to do with my book. To tesser meant to travel, through space or time or both. It was how Meg got to Camazotz, the planet where her father was held prisoner. But it had nothing to do with Christmas, as far as I knew.

April 27th: Studio TV-15 . April 27 was Richard’s birthday. But of course back in December I had never heard of Studio TV-15, since Mom didn’t get her postcard from The $20,000 Pyramid until a couple of weeks ago.

I think it was the “P.S.” that freaked me out most. I thought of the day Sal got punched, when I had carried my Mysteries of Science poster home.

I read the note over and over, until my hands were frozen and I was forced to put them back in my pockets. It made no sense. The only thing it really helped me understand was that you were watching me. And I had no idea who you were. Or what you wanted.

I was almost to the garage when Marcus came out of his door right in front of me. He had on his regular green army jacket, but he was wearing gloves and had a hat pulled down over his ears. I expected him to ignore me like he always did, but instead he waved and started walking along next to me.

Things That Make No Sense

Marcus and I got to Broadway without saying anything. I was thinking.

“I thought of a question for you,” I said finally.

“Okay.”

“Let’s say I build a time machine.” I waited to see if he would laugh at this, but he just nodded and looked thoughtful. “And let’s say I decide I want to go back to last Wednesday. Let’s say I want to go to the movies while the other me is still in school.”

“Okay.”

I exhaled a big white cloud. “I won’t get to last Wednesday until after I leave, right? I mean, I won’t know if I’m really going to get there until I actually get there.”

“Right. In your experience, you won’t know if you’re going to get there until after you leave. I mean, unless you remember seeing yourself, on the street or something. Or we could ask the ticket guy at the theater.” He was serious.

“What?”

“At the movie theater. Which one are you planning to go to? Because we could ask the ticket guy if you were there. Then we’ll know whether or not you’re going to get there.”

“But I haven’t left yet! I haven’t even built the time machine.”