Robert Silverberg - Gilgamesh the King

"Return to Uruk. Resume my throne. Live out my days to their allotted number."

"You know that you may remain with us if you wish, and take part in our rites, and receive training in our skills."

"And learn from you how to keep death at bay-though not to defeat him altogether. For that is impossible." "Yes."

"But if I give myself to you, I can never again leave this island. Is that so?"

"You will not want to, if you become one of us."

"In what way would that be different from death?" I asked. "I would lose all the world, and have only a small sandy island in exchange for it. To dwell in a small room, and work in these fields, and say prayers at night, and eat only certain foods-to live like a prisoner on an isle so little I can walk from shore to shore in an hour or tWO-"

"You would not be a prisoner. If you remained, you would remain of your free choice."

"It is not the life I would choose, father."

"No," he said. "I did not think you would."

"I am grateful for the offer."

"Which will not be withdrawn. You may come to us any time, Gilgamesh, if so you choose. But I do not think that is what you will choose." He smiled yet again and held forth his hand; and as he had done the first time he touched his fingertips to my face for a blessing. His hand was very cold. His touch had a sting. When LuNinmarka led me back to the surface, I still felt the places where he had touched me, like white imprints against my skin.

I MADE ready to leave the little island. By orders of the Ziusudra I was given a fine new cloak, and a band to place around my head, and I bathed until I was clean as fresh snow. The boatman Sursunabu would take me across to Dilmun; there I would arrange for my journey home. My mood was somber, dark and subdued, and why should it not have been? The Ziusudra had said it all: I had come so far for so little. Yet I was not distraught. I had gambled and I had lost, but the odds had been great. Only a fool will weep when he asks the impossible of his dice and they do not provide it for him.

The time was nearly at hand for my departure when the old priest Lu-Ninmarka came to me and made a little speech, saying, "The Ziusudra feels deep sorrow that you have undergone such long hardship and have wearied yourself so greatly without attaining any reward. By way of comforting you he has decided to disclose a hidden thing to you, a secret of the gods. He offers it as a gift, to carry back to your own country."

"And what is that?" I asked.

"Come with me."

In truth I felt so bleak that I had little yearning for any gift of the Ziusudra's; I wanted only to get myself away from that place and take myself swiftly back to Uruk. But I knew it would be mannerless and uncivil to refuse. So I accompanied the priest to a far part of the isle where the land stretched into the sea in a long narrow point with the shape of a knife-blade. On the edge of that point I saw a great mound of thousands of gray seashells of a strange shape, all gnarled and rough on one side, smooth and gleaming on the other. Near them lay the sort of stones that divers use as weights when they go down into the sea, and some ropes to attach them to their legs.

"Do you wonder why we have come here?" Lu-Ninmarka said. He grinned. I think he meant it to be pleasant, but to me it was like the grinning of a skull, so lean and fleshless was his sharp-featured face. He picked up one of the gray shells, rested it a moment on the palm of his hand with its smooth side downward, and tossed it to the ground. Then he pointed out to sea. "This is the place where the plant known as Grow-Young-Again is found: there, at the bottom of the sea." Frowning, I said, "Grow-Young-Again? What plant is that?" He looked at me in surprise. "Don't you know it? It is the wonder of wonders, that plant. From it we make a medicine to cure the most implacable of illnesses: I mean the ravages of age. It is a medicine that restores a man to his former strength, that takes the lines from his face, that makes his hair grow dark once more. And the plant from which it comes lies in these waters. Do you see the shells here? They are its leaves. We dive for the plant, we bring it up, we extract its power, and we discard the rest. From its fruit we make the potion that preserves us from age. This is the Ziusudra's parting gift to you: I am to let you have the fruit of Grow-Young-Again to take with you on your journey."

"Is it so?" I said, astounded.

"We would not jest with you, Gilgamesh."

Awe and amazement silenced me a moment. When I could speak again I said in a hushed way, "How am I to obtain this miraculous stuff?."

Lu-Ninmarka waved his hand towards the divers' stones, the ropes, the sea. He indicated that I should put off my clothing and go down into the water. I hesitated only a moment. The sea is Enki's domain, and I had never felt much at ease with that god. It would be a new thing for me to enter the sea. Well, I thought, in my passage to Dilmun Enki had done me no harm; and as a boy I had dived into the river often enough. What was there to fear? The plant GrowYoung-Again waited for me in that water. I cast my cloak aside; I tied the heavy stones to my feet; I went stumbling forward to the edge of the sea.

How clear the water was, how warm, how gentle! It lapped at the pink sand of the shore and took on a pink flush itself. I looked toward Lu-Ninmarka, who urged me onward. It was slow going, with those stones. The water was shallow; I waded knee-deep for an endless time. But then at last I came to a place where the sunken shelf of the land dropped away and what seemed to be the maw of the great abyss loomed before me. Again I looked back; again LuNinmarka signaled me onward. I filled my chest with air and cast myself forward, and the stones drew me down.

Ah, what joy it was to tumble into those depths! It was like flying, effortless and serene, but a flying downward, a pure sweet descent. I was altogether without fear. The color of the sea deepened about me: it was a rich sapphire now, shot through with strands of sparkling light from above. As I descended, the fishes came to me and studied me with great goggling eyes. They were of every hue, yellow banded with black, scarlet, azure, topaz, emerald, turquoise; they were of colors I had never seen before, and mixtures of colors that I would not have believed possible. I could have touched them, they were so close. They danced beside me with unimaginable grace.

Down, down, down. I held my arms high above my head and gave myself up freely to the pull of the abyss. My hair streamed far out about me; a bubbling flow came from my lips; there was a thunderous pounding in my breast. My heart was joyous: through my entire body there flowed the keenest of delights. I could not say how long it had been since I had known such joy. Not since Enkidu had gone from me, surely. Ah, Enkidu, Enkidu, if you could have been there beside me as I made my way into the abyss!

The water was much cooler here. The shimmering light, far above, was pale, blue, remote, like moonlight made scant by heavy clouds. I felt firmness suddenly beneath my feet: I had reached the floor of this sunken realm. Soft sand below, dark jagged rocks before me. Where was the plant? Where was Grow-Young-Again? Ah, here, here! I saw a multitude of it: stony gray leaves clinging to the rocks. I touched several of them lightly, in wonder, thinking, Is this the one that will do the magic? Is this the one that will turn back the years? I pulled one plant loose. That cost me no little pain. The outer surface of it was sharp and thorny, as though covered with tiny blades, and it pricked my hands like a rose. I saw a crimson cloud of my blood rise along my arms. But I had the plant of life and breath; I clutched it tight; I raised it jubilantly, and I would have cried out in triumph, if such a thing could have been done in that silent world. Grow-Young-Again! Yes! Perhaps eternal life could not be mine, but I would at least have some way of shielding myself against the bite of time's tooth.