Jack Lee - A Guide for the Heroic Nerd

Women want powerful men. Mentally placing yourself in a position of power isn’t harming her. You want her to be thinking, ‘Who is that guy? Why did he smile at me like that? Is he laughing at me? Why isn’t he looking at me again?’ because now she’s no longer bored. With just a look and a smile, you’ve improved her evening. You’ve become a gift-giving altruist bringing joy to those around you.

Try to feel the pressure of her gaze on the back of your neck. You’d be surprised; it’s possible to sense someone looking at you without actually seeing them do it. After a half hour has passed, make eye contact with her again. This time don’t smile. Put on your best puzzled look. Walk up to her using a firm confident stride, never losing eye contact and ask, “I’m sorry if this sounds forward, but have you been looking at me?”

If she blushes, you’re on the right track.

This technique isn’t for everyone. It may or may not fit your style. It’s worth considering because it shows how to use your mental energy to pick up woman. Your thoughts will be reflected in your body language. If you’re having fun, if you are laughing on the inside, a girl will be able to sense it. And the odds are she’ll be attracted.

We all know guys who are ridiculously good-looking. They don’t ask women out because sooner or later the women usually ask them out. If you have a friend in this category, he’s a valuable resource you can exploit. Once you explain the deal to him, he’ll be willing to go along because he has an issue too. Women pick him; he never gets to choose the girl. He’ll be interested in an opportunity to talk to the girl he wants.

Edmond Rostand’s 1897 play ‘Cyrano de Bergerac’ is about an articulate man with a monstrously large nose who has a gorgeous, inarticulate friend. Both Cyrano and his friend fall in love with the same beautiful woman. Cyrano doesn’t even try to win her because he knows he’s ugly. His friend asks Cyrano help him. He uses Cyrano’s words to get the girl. It’s a tragedy because the woman actually falls in love with Cyrano, but she ends up with the wrong man. If you ever want a self-serving chick flick with the theme that ugly smart men are better than handsome dumb men, check out ‘Roxanne’ with Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah. It’s based on Rostand’s play.

You can channel de Bergerac without jumping into a tragic love triangle. Go to a bar with your good-looking friend. Let’s call him John. Have John pick out any pretty girl as long as she has an attractive friend.

Women are used to saying no to guys trying to pick them up for themselves. They’re flabbergasted when they come across a guy who is trying to pick them up for someone else. They don’t have a prepared response and they don’t know how to say no. There’s also a heck of a lot less stress on you because the worst that can happen is your friend gets rejected, not you.

All John has to do is sit far away looking studly; since that’s the only weapon in his quiver, he’ll be good with that. Go up to the girl, let’s call her Marsha, and tell her the honest truth. John is attracted to her but he’s too shy to come over. List every single positive trait he has and tell her that all she has to do is go up to him and say hi. If John was listing his great traits, he’d be bragging; it wouldn’t go over well. Since you’re the one praising him, everything you’re saying must be true.

In all the times I’ve done this, I’ve never had a girl refuse to talk to my friend. I can’t say this enough; single girls go to bars for the same reason single guys do. As long as you make it fun for them, they’ll want to talk to you.

Escort Marsha over to John and give them some privacy. Go back to her table and wait with her attractive friend who now thinks you’re funny, unique, and interesting. It’s a win-win for everyone. Once again, you’ve brought joy into the universe. You ARE the gift that keeps on giving.

Okay, you’ve made your pitch and she’s responded positively. You’re talking to the girl. What do you do next?

Reach out and touch her. But it very definitely has to be the right kind of touch.

Classical actors use their body language, words, and tone to convey emotions they don’t have. Method actors display the thoughts and the emotions they’re actually feeling. We are born method actors. We have to study and train to become classical actors. Unless you’re a great classical actor and have the skills to pretend otherwise, every emotion and thought you have is displayed in your voice, face, and touch.

Every guy has experienced a phenomenon I call the spontaneous stiffy. Teenage boys who experience this reaction almost always get an ‘Oh shit’ expression on their face and they jerk forward to decrease the pressure on their crotch. You are immediately self-conscious because it is embarrassing. It is not sexy or attractive.

The girl you’re slow dancing with knows what’s happening even if you can keep your bulge from touching her. Men eventually grow out of physical stiffies; the mental ones never go away. It doesn’t matter if your wood is physical or mental, a woman can usually tell. A man with lust in his heart has a different touch than a man who doesn’t.

You’re friends with a girl with an awesome personality. You really like her but you aren’t physically attracted to her at all. One day you’re giving her a friendly hug good-bye and you get the feeling she’s imagining you naked. How do you feel? I’m going to bet it’s not good.

Being desired by someone we want is wonderful; being desired by someone we don’t is repulsive. Men and women are different. I’m speaking in generalities here and there are always exceptions to the rule, but if a woman is physically attractive, we usually want her. A woman has to like a man—no matter how attractive he is, before she wants him.

If you put your arm around a girl while mentally undressing her, you’re making a sexual pass. It’s a really awesome way to make her uncomfortable.

So why am I encouraging you to touch her? Before I answer this question, I want you to imagine a happy family on a picnic. Form the mental image of the dad affectionately rubbing his son’s head and giving his daughter a quick hug has he rough houses with them. The mom calls the family to the meal by name and she lightly touches them as she sends them off to do this and that. The brother laughingly insults his younger sister and she playfully slaps him in return.

Now imagine a dysfunctional family eating a meal in silence. There are no displays of affection. The family members hardly ever touch each other—it’s really hard to show affection without touch. That’s why you want to touch the girl you like.

The greatest players are amazing actors; they can fake affection and caring. If you’re reading this book, statistical probability indicates you’re not a player. In which case, you’re better off not trying to fake anything because you’re bad at it.

If you don’t like a girl, don’t touch her. If you like her, be affectionate. If you’re happy to see her, give her a hug. Pat her on the shoulder when you want her attention or want to make a point. We all want to be liked. We all want affection. It is extremely difficult to be happy if you’re not liked.

It’s ironic, but beautiful women have a harder time getting affection than not-so-beautiful women. Other women are jealous. Men are often too intimidated or too lust-filled give them a simple friendly hug. Learn how to use this technique and you might be surprised how much of a positive response you get.

It’s almost impossible to NOT think of something. Don’t try to NOT think of her physical looks. Instead think about how happy you are to see her. Think about why you like her—her sense of humor, her kindness, or how interesting she is—as you touch her.