Jeremy Brown - The Testimony of Satan

Envy is a sin of the eternal fire that I have used from the dawn of your age… using it to drive brothers to kill their brothers who are beloved by parents in the eyes of the jealous. It has been used as a form of cunningness by everyone from brothers to nations to seize birthrights to needed resources from others. Envy generates war and rivalries that continue for generations… Envy has been used to push brothers and neighbors to sell each other into slavery or to disclose secrets to their captors to remain enslaved. It feels with me with what you may perceive as delight when I know that most wars and conflicts arise between a few individuals but end up in turmoil and destruction of both the victims and propagators of envy in the millions. Envy has been part of your being since you were driven from the garden. Adam and Eve sought to be like God versus at peace with being in His grace in paradise; they were envious of their creator…. Such was my downfall… I wanted to be God-like versus in service of His glory and thus be glorious… I failed to be at peace with the power I was given, and when I attempted to take greater glory — my power was substantially reduced, diminished, and destroyed…. when I was cast out… Envy is rooted in pride and leads to levels of wrath that burn high… Such is the way of eternal fires of sin, and its power to destroy those who feel it versus those who it is felt toward. Envy is often rooted in such falsehood, and only allows my influence to creep into the soul… Envy clouds the mind; when one should be focused on honoring themselves as in acknowledging Him for their life and capabilities, they sacrifice divine understanding and seek the lesser understanding or acknowledgement from many who may or may not even care for them. This drives them to anger… and I thrive on anger… Envy is an indication of an immature and selfish mind… But, if one has kindness in their heart, there is little I can do to them.

Kindnessmuch like charity drives me from one’s heart. Kindness is a sign that one is like Him, notably when they seek no acknowledgement or praise, and are not moved from the path of their righteousness when they are praised. He is moved by your praise of Him, but far from some form of pride that you humans thrive upon like ants on honey. No His kindness is that given from a parent to child, even when the child is not aware of what is given or even acknowledges it. For instance, a newborn babe is not aware of much in this world; the babe is still connected to heaven… but parents nevertheless take care and provide for the child even before the child is aware of him or herself, aware of their limits… Kindness is of the ethereal fire that quells the eternal fires of envy… True it says in your bible that He is a jealous God, but that is because He Himself is not one of many gods, He is the one God. Therefore, to place gods before Him or even in other religions to see manifestations of God as if they are equal and separate gods in their own right, weakens the connection between truth and the reality that God is God who even made me… in kindness… and as you and your kind have known since you became aware of yourself… This angers Him… I turned God’s kindness aside as if it was a weakness — and I fell… Kindness is the essence of Him that makes all things worth having in your world possible…

The greatest element of the eternal fires of sin is who I am, who I attempted to place above His kindness and glory… It is pride. I thrive on pride for it is truly the source and essence of the eternal fires… It is the point that all sins descend… For if one is filled with the eternal fire of pride, one has the fuel to maintain negative emotions that arise and occur time and time again — synonymous with sin. Pride has been both my strength and weakness. I am even angered that it led me to my fall and yet it helped me realize my place in the universe. Pride both enslaved me and freed me… I know… it may seem a paradox to the human mind… but pride is a point where pain and pleasure unite and become something new…

Pride for me was a muddy point of destroying what was good that He made of me and saw fit, and as painful as it was… I rose above it not as strong or powerful but aware of myself and my choices…. And I could do nothing but accept the consequences… So is pride a downfall or a means of change and taking pleasure in no matter the state of oneself and results? Ha! For me it is a never-ending battle within, and I must satisfy myself with my dilemma even though it is on a path of perpetual defeat in order to continue and to berate, insult, and disturb the very core of your souls. Pride is like an itch from the bite or sting of success or failure… It is at that point one takes into account overcoming opposition whether it be of man, nature, or the reality within. And with such accomplishments, one should learn to be humble to look upon his or her own glory as the glory of God and a gift from Him — whether it be power, beauty, youth, or incite. But, no most look to themselves as the source of their own glory and they have no sense of grace… This is the pride I bathe in as a beast of fire and sin. But even this fire and sin is quelled… my pride would have been quelled… if I had not lost sight of the very nature by which He blesses all… through humility…

Humility… funny how it is so close to humiliation in a number of your languages… there is nothing humbling about being humiliated — and yet maybe it is a fact that one must humble him or herself despite being disrespected, attacked, or demeaned or in light of praise, acknowledgement, and being exalted. Many are filled with wrath when they are attacked and humility seems to be the furthest thing from their minds. Wrath is one path of pride. Lust is another. When a man is praised for his craftsmanship or physique by women — whether he is married or not he either commits adulterous acts or fornicates because he places his pride before the desires of God and the natural course of things. If he is married, humility would dictate that he simply thank such women for their comments, but he would keep in mind his love for his wife and his God — through His covenant of marriage and the sanctity of cleanliness. However, pride muddies the waters of what is just and unjust for those who may know with their minds, but do not live such ways in their hearts… and lust does them and others grave harm.

Pride rises in those who feel they should have acknowledgement, yet humility turns such fires aside and makes the act of greatness one knows for him or herself even if he or she did not receive reward. For if one simply did great deeds for praise then the deeds themselves are rooted in pride and do even those the deed was done for harm or disgrace. Humility turns aside the feeling of being above others. The humble man exalts those who are in many ways beneath him — and places them above him. Here is where I failed greatly. Yes it is true that you have the power to drive me from your heart and even the hearts and minds of others, but you have to be pure in your exertion of such power, but in many ways I am your superior — I am the greater creation. I was placed to be as such, yet I was not humble and did not lower myself before you and exalt you above me… not for love of Him, but love of myself — because of pride — and now I am even lower than your race when it comes to God not through humility but by humiliating myself.

He paused reflecting on the number of vices he had established in sin, yet he himself felt powerless because he no longer had the power of God with him but against him. In many ways, he knew this, and it appeared the archfiend had some form of sadness. It was strange to think of such sensations in the master of doom and death, but it made sense in that death and destruction have no power over rejuvenation and life. And to be outside of this power or to simply not be filled with it was a greater hell than any that the human mind could conceive in life. True, the most evil among us may thrive on the fantasy, but the beast knew the truth of the glories of God and now hung on threads of his many realities outside the light of God with no means of escaping the emptiness of his accursed perdition and eternal punishment… He continued…