Юнас Юнассон - The Accidental Further Adventures of the Hundred-Year-Old Man

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The Accidental Further Adventures of the Hundred-Year-Old Man: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

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What’s next for Allan Karlsson? Turns out this centenarian has a few more adventures in store…
It all begins with a hot air balloon trip and three bottles of champagne. Allan and Julius are ready for some spectacular views, but they’re not expecting to land in the sea and be rescued by a North Korean ship, and they could never have imagined that the captain of the ship would be harboring a suitcase full of contraband uranium, on a nuclear weapons mission for Kim Jong-un. Yikes!
Soon Allan and Julius are at the center of a complex diplomatic crisis involving world figures from the Swedish foreign minister to Angela Merkel and President Trump. Needless to say, things are about to get very, very complicated.
Another hilarious, witty, and entertaining novel from bestselling author Jonas Jonasson that will have readers howling out-loud at the escapades and misfortunes of its beloved hundred-year-old hero Allan Karlsson and his irresistible sidekick Julius.

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They bought tickets at the counter; they only had carry-ons and hardly even that, since Allan had forgotten to bring their joint suitcase from the apartment when the other two had their hands busy.

‘You had one thing to remember,’ said Sabine. ‘ One thing .’

‘The silver lining is, there wasn’t more,’ said Allan.

But check-in went even faster for this reason, and they were in their seats in the second row on the plane, destination Frankfurt, twenty minutes after their arrival at the airport.

‘Champagne?’ asked the flight attendant.

‘Are you a mind-reader?’ said Allan.

Lufthansa Flight 831 was the last one that managed to take off before the airport closed. The security threat was already elevated, but it had been raised even higher after the attack in Stockholm. And now a suspicious vehicle was parked in a particularly rule-violating manner immediately outside the entrance to Terminal 3.

A common belief in Denmark was that their neighbour Sweden had made a full-time career of importing suicide bombers. During the war in Syria, more people than the entire population of Denmark had fled tanks, bombs and aerial attacks with chemical weapons. Most of them ended up in Turkey, where they weren’t welcome, so many wended their way north, doing their best to avoid traps, like Hungarian electric fences and well-aimed tear gas.

Those with six thousand dollars in their pocket could avoid tear gas in favour of the chance to keep moving towards even more distant nations, where they weren’t welcome either. Like Denmark, for example. Which in turn guided them onwards to Sweden. Where no one knew which way was up. Still, the Swedes decided against electric fences and tear gas in favour of roofs over heads, since it had not been established that all of those who said they had fled for their lives were in fact terrorists (a select few Swedes knew better, though, and did their best to burn down as many refugee camps as they could, to teach the terrorists a lesson).

The result of all this was that the Danes concluded that the hearse with a Swedish registration plate was full of explosives, meant to cause great destruction. All departures were immediately cancelled; approaching planes were rerouted; the terminal was evacuated; the police brought in their bomb robot.

Just a few minutes after the alarm had sounded, the news hit the internet. An unidentified black hearse, strategically placed perilously close to thousands of travellers.

‘Oho! So that’s where you are,’ said Johnny Engvall. ‘And you made sure that you won’t get away. You fucking idiots.’

He assumed that Sabine Jonsson and her crew were as stuck at the airport as everyone else. Since his own car was several kilometres away, he flagged down a taxi on the street.

‘Rosengård, please.’

Once they arrived, of course, the driver wished to be paid, but Johnny realized he had neither wallet nor car keys in his possession. He asked the driver to wait as he broke into his own boot. With the help of the automatic weapon he stored there, he changed the driver’s mind.

‘What’s your name?’ Johnny asked, the barrel of the gun pressed to the driver’s forehead.

‘Bengt,’ said the driver. And started to cry.

‘Nice to meet you, Bengt,’ said Johnny. ‘Do you think you and I can come to an agreement where you will drive me to Kastrup airport with no compensation?’

‘Please don’t kill me.’

‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

* * *

When they reached the Øresund Bridge, Bengt made an attempt to slow down to pay the toll.

‘Surely you’re not about to fatten up the Swedish state with a bridge toll?’ Johnny said angrily.

During the journey Bengt had managed to become more terrified than he had been when they’d started out. After all, the radio was broadcasting the news that a suspected terror attack was under way at the very airport to which he and the man with the automatic weapon were driving. The only logical conclusion was that this man, too, was a terrorist.

So Bengt did as he was told: he stepped on the gas and drove at 120 kilometres per hour toward the tollbooth as the security cameras took pictures.

And even faster over the bridge. Kastrup was only a few minutes away now.

Thus far, the collected intellect of the Aryan Alliance had not analysed the situation in the least. But, with just a few kilometres left to the airport, he ordered his involuntary chauffeur to slow down. It was crucial to take the right steps now, not the wrong ones.

No rash decisions, right?

Okay, so the trio who had besmirched Kenneth’s memory had got stuck at Kastrup, for reasons they’d orchestrated themselves. According to the live updates from the Jew media online, no one had yet been apprehended. So they had to be with all the other evacuated travellers in the hangar the radio had mentioned.

Priority number one was to find that hangar.

* * *

People fled from war, terror and desperate poverty. For reasons not difficult to comprehend, if at all possible they sought refuge in places where war, terror and desperate poverty for the most part didn’t exist. After all, there would have been no point in fleeing otherwise.

Sweden lacked all three aforementioned characteristics; thus it was a country people fled to rather than from. This meant, in turn, that the Swedish-Danish border patrol on the Swedish side of the Øresund Bridge was more or less one-way. Each vehicle that came to Sweden was subjected to inspection, while those going in the other direction had only to pass a pay station.

But that didn’t mean it was possible to drive through such a station at, for example, 120 kilometres per hour and expect no reaction. In such cases, the police on the Danish side were supplied with the make and colour of the car, as well as its licence plate number. If, at the time in question, there also happened to be a suspected terror attack under way at, for example, the international airport of Copenhagen, no other measure was taken than to enter the fee evasion into a database of ongoing investigations, where it would be labelled ‘inconclusive investigation results’ and written off.

One exception to this might be if the driver of the suspicious vehicle were imprudently to encounter a police checkpoint and stop for it.

* * *

Eight hundred metres from the international departures terminal at Kastrup, the police had set a boom across the road, put out cones, and allowed you the chance to turn round and go back where you’d come from. The driver of each vehicle was met with a salute and given a brief statement about police activity at the airport, which was closed until further notice. The driver and potential passengers were advised to follow media reports for information about when it might reopen. While a constable shared this message, a more junior constable took the opportunity to check the registration plate, purely as a matter of routine.

The more senior Constable Krogh found himself on guard as soon as he initiated contact with the driver of the Swedish-registered taxi he was dealing with now. The man behind the wheel looked terrified. And beside him, in the passenger seat, a very focused customer was obviously hiding something under his leather jacket. Then, when the more junior Constable Larsen cleared his throat, he realized that the registration plate had suggested something and he had a case on his hands.

‘May I see your ID?’ asked the senior constable. ‘Yours too, please,’ he said to Johnny Engvall.

Almost two dozen heavily armed colleagues nearby took notice that something might be going on.

Bengt had his cab-driver ID.

‘Unfortunately I left my driving licence at home,’ said Johnny.

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