Michael Guillebeau - MAD Librarian - You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Library

Joe slid into the booth opposite Serenity and picked up a wing. “That was fast.”

She looked at him. “The law can be intimidating.”

He looked back at her evenly and studied her for a long second. “Only to criminals.”

“See any here?”

“I’m a cop. I see criminals everywhere.”

Now she studied him. “Maybe you should look somewhere else and leave people who are trying to build something good for this community alone.”

There was a long pause between them.

“Let’s start over,” he said.

She nodded. “My turn. Let me ask you a question. I thought you were going to Rick’s. You just decided to drop in here for Jerry’s fine cuisine and warm atmosphere?”

“No. Stopped by Publix for a six-pack of Vapor Trail. Thought I’d drop one off for you. Nobody home, killer on the loose, thought I’d check on my partner.”

He picked up the rum bottle and studied it.

Serenity said, “Want some?”

He sat the bottle down and smiled at her. First smile of the night.

“I’m on duty, ma’am. Always.”

“Bullshit.” She pushed Doom’s mostly untouched glass at him and waited until he took a sip.

“How’re the Braves doing?” she said.

He set the glass down. “They’re not as interesting as the case I’m working on. ‘The Case of the Murder in the Suddenly-Rich Library.’”

Serenity laughed. It was more for a release of tension, but it was something. “Did you check the Hardy Boys? That sounds like one of theirs.”

“Nah, I thought I’d try talking things over with my friendly neighborhood librarian.”

“Sounds like a police thing. How’d you find me?”

“I’m a detective, ma’am,” he took a drink, “with the Maddington PD behind me. One call, five minutes, and a patrol car reported your car here.”

“Maddington PD.”

“Sees all, knows all.”

“Except who did this.”

“Except that. So, partner, give me a suspect.”

Long pause. “Bentley.”

“Bentley? You think the guy who hired Kendall sight unseen sent him down there so he could kill him? Did anyone even see Bentley in the library?”

“No.”

“So we don’t know his motive, he didn’t have the opportunity, and—unless the coroner says he was stabbed with a rectal thermometer—he didn’t have the means.”

“I know. But he’s involved somehow. He thinks he’s on a mission from God to destroy us.”

“Could be. On the other hand, I keep coming back to the advice from the book All the President’s Men : follow the money. I’m not saying the library’s doing anything wrong, but you’ve sure got a lot of manna falling from heaven these days.”

He waited for Serenity to offer something, but got nothing. Finally, she put the top back on the bottle. “Are you investigating the library or a murder? I thought we were partners trying to solve a murder.”

“Are. Sometimes you just scratch at what itches. And what itches right now is this: there’s only one man in Maddington County that I know of who has the kind of cash flow the library’s got right now.”

“Bentley?”

Joe snorted. “Bentley is someone who’s bought, not someone who does the buying. Told you, only one man with money in Maddington these days. Don Juan. North Alabama’s drug czar.”

“Why would he be interested in the library?”

“There’s only one thing I know of in the library that might be of interest enough for him to throw his money around. And, one thing important enough for him to kill to protect if Bentley sent someone to threaten it.”

Serenity said, “What? Large print books? Romance novels?”

Joe watched her eyes as he spoke. “They don’t call him Don Juan because he loves books. They call him that because he loves women.” He paused and watched her reaction. “The library has the hottest woman in Maddington—who has something she can’t tell her husband.”

Now Serenity stared at him, confused about how to act, and decided anger was the safest. “How dare you—”

He stood up.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve just paid you the horrible insult of telling you how you look to every man in Maddington. Including me. And that just makes you angry.”

He tipped his hat. “Maybe we should call this ‘The Case of the Distant Librarian.’”

FRIDAY MORNING, three stories of MAD up, and Serenity had Joy in her office. “Cots put back, boss. Lost Boys off to their day homes. The original MAD is open for day business.”

Serenity raised her head and Joy looked at her. “Jesus, Serenity, what happened to you? Last time my eyes looked that red was… well, just a couple of nights ago. But that’s me. What happened to you?”

“Too much playing cop yesterday. Too much rum last night. Too little sleep. Too little real talking.”

Joy smiled. “Celebrating?”

“Oh yeah. Trying to keep the library and Doom running from the lawman who sleeps next to me. Most nights.”

Joy gave Serenity a quick head nod and a sad look.

“Cops can sense when someone’s hiding something. Reason why I lost my husband. Well, the second one.” She reached over and put her hand on Serenity’s. “Joe seems like a keeper.”

“He is. Or was. I’m not sure. Joy, I’ve got kind of a weird question for you. On a scale of one to ten, what am I? In hotness, I mean.”

Joy tried to read Serenity’s face, gave up, and answered the question straight. “I don’t know. Seven. Eight on a good day. What brought that on?”

“Not the absolute hottest woman in Maddington County?”

“No. I mean, no offense. Remember a couple of years ago that reality TV show had that woman from Clift’s Cove on that dating show? Flew her out there and all that. Don’t think they’d do that for you.” She paused. “No offense.”

“None taken.” Serenity exhaled. “Joe sees me as a lot hotter than I am.”

“Fight for him.” Joy pulled her hand back. “On the other hand, you need to find some story to keep him away from our Excitable Girl and make sure he doesn’t think your library secret has anything to do with, you know, murder and actual crimes at the library.”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

Serenity slid the Scarface DVD across the desk to Joy. “Let’s talk about something else. This was in the drop box the other morning.”

“Good movie.”

Then Joy read the note.

“Good movie,” said Serenity, “unless someone is pointing their ‘little friend’ at you. And, someone tried to run me off the road.”

“Serenity, we need security here.”

Serenity took a sip of her coffee. “We’ve got our high school kids. And for now, we’ve got Maddington’s finest.”

“Who we can’t tell about the danger.” Joy paused. “We need to do something . I’ve got an Israeli submachine pistol that is so cool. Give me the budget and I can have our whole staff armed with them by this afternoon.”

“No. Hell, no. And if I catch you bringing any firearm on MAD property, you are fired on the spot. You got that?”

“Thought you’d say that. Choice number two. I know a guy,” said Joy. “OHR.”

“Is that a company? Are you sure we can trust them?”

“Not them. OHR is a guy. One Hand Ryan. And, yes, we can trust him. If he takes the job. I ran into him when I was on the force, but he wasn’t a cop. He was kind of invisible security for a rock star. The star had all these people strutting around in dark suits like FBI, or maybe Secret Service. But they were just for show. OHR stayed invisible and took care of everything. He is loyal with a capital ‘L.’ But he only takes jobs he wants to.”