Michael Guillebeau - MAD Librarian - You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Library

Serenity paused. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably an old account that was deleted years ago. Give me the account number and I’ll get Doom to go into the history files and get you an explanation while you sit back in your cubicle and go over the books you have now.”

“Also,” he made a long pause and Serenity wondered if he were done. But the glasses stayed on her. “That account was the one your contractor had on his invoices.”

“Really.”

“I look forward to your explanation.” Kendall turned and walked back to the little cubicle, behind the man with the Alabama hat.

Serenity looked at Doom’s desk. No Doom. Then she went around the corner to the server room. The door was locked. She pulled out her key ring, unlocked the door, and peered inside. No Doom. Serenity locked up and made the rounds without finding Doom anywhere inside the library.

When she reached Joy she mouthed, “Doom.”

Joy pointed out the door. “Outside. Practicing to be a mommy.”

Serenity ran out the door and found a crowd of bulging stomachs standing under the oak tree, but no Doom. She turned to look back at the door, and started to ask the group’s leader if she had seen Doom. But when she turned again, Doom was walking up to the back of the crowd of pregnant women, her thinness making her look like a solitary “1” in a field of “0”s. Serenity pulled her out from the crowd. “Where were you?”

Doom smiled a conspiratorial smile. “Taking care of business. Inside.”

“No, you weren’t.”

Doom smiled. “Then I was here.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“I might have been. No one can tell.” While she spoke she stared over Serenity’s head, scanning back and forth. “I’m studying paramilitary techniques to help me patrol the library. We need a security force with some bite.”

Serenity pointed two fingers at her eyes. “Doom, my eyes are here.” She paused. “First time I’ve had to use a line like that, that way.”

Doom met her eyes.

“We have security, Doom.”

“We have seventeen-year-old Caleb, who is so shy about his acne that he hides in the break room. Besides, I’m not patrolling for people like that boy who takes books without checking them out just to prove he’s a non-conformist. I’m taking care of real threats to our dream. The price of a library is eternal vigilance.”

“God protect us all from you. Anyway, Kendall needs your help again.”

Another conspiratorial smile. “Took care of Kendall. Karen here was just about to show us a real placenta. That’s why I came back out here. Can’t it wait?”

“No, it can’t. A what?” Serenity looked around and saw the other women turning green. Doom’s eyes glittered.

“I’m not afraid of a little blood.”

“Jesus, Doom. Look, right now, I need you inside or it’s going to be our blood. Kendall wants to know why the Special Projects account isn’t on the books.”

“Give me ten minutes and I’ll build a trail showing Special Projects moved to the Friends of the Library, since they do most of the fund raising. Probably should have given him that in the first place.”

“Good. Remember to log in as me. Anyone goes to jail, it will be me.”

“I promise, but I also promise that I will not let you go to jail. Or let the library be stopped. No matter what.”

“That’s not what I said, but go.”

They fast-walked back inside and took a right toward the server room. Kendall was coming back from the central printer with a stack of paper in his hand.

Serenity smiled. “We’ve got you covered, Mr. Kendall. Ms. Doom will have your information for you in just a few minutes. You can tell Councilman Bentley that’s what we do here at the Maddington Library: get information to people when they need it.”

“No need.”

Serenity thought he was smiling this time, but she wasn’t sure. “Got a copy of the report myself right here, with that fund included. Went into your computer room myself to save you the trouble.”

Serenity’s smile disappeared. “That room was locked. And there are passwords on that computer.”

“Wasn’t a problem.” He was smiling now and Serenity was sure of it. “For me.”

SERENITY PUT ON HER BIGGEST fake smile (so much for honest living) and said, “Oh, how very nice,” and ran to her office. She picked up the phone.

“Donna, I’ve got to talk to him now .”

“He’s doing a closing, Serenity. He’ll call you back in half an hour.”

“He’s my lawyer. I need him now .”

“Serenity, he’s a real estate lawyer. He did a closing for you and Joe like ten years ago. Do you have a real estate emergency today? What does Joe say?”

“That’s just it. I can’t talk to Joe.”

There was a long pause, followed by, “George doesn’t handle divorces.”

Another long pause. Faulkner peeked out and she thought of handing the phone to him.

“How about this, Serenity? I get him to call you back as soon as he gets out, and in the meanwhile, you go talk to Joe? Or maybe a marriage counselor? Or maybe just an individual therapist for yourself?”

“Fine.”

Serenity slammed down the phone as Doom burst into the room.

“Ms. Hammer, we’ve got to do something. He’s going to destroy the library.”

“Calm down, Supergirl. Go fly around the building a couple of times to burn off some anger.”

“Calm down my ass. The time for playing it safe is over. If we don’t act now, he’s going to take that to Bentley and in a matter of hours everything we’ve worked for will be shut down.”

“That’s what you’re worried about? Being shut down? Not going to jail, your life ruined, that sort of stuff?”

Doom tossed her long black hair. “Jail doesn’t scare me. Jail didn’t break Martin Luther King or Gandhi or Angela Davis. They were heroes to their generations because they were passionate enough to go to jail.” She raised her fist. “Power to the people! Power to the books! This generation needs a hero, and I can’t back away if it needs to be me.”

“You may be getting a little carried away here.”

“You think King got carried away when he wrote the ‘Letter from Birmingham Jail’? Or Morgan Freeman when he changed the world from a South African jail?”

“Technically, I think that was Nelson Mandela.”

Doom thought about it a minute. “Whatever. That man out there has got to be stopped. By any means necessary.”

“But we’ve got to draw a line somewhere, Doom.”

Doom pointed to the front door. “You see that sidewalk out front? That’s my line. Enemies of the library cross it; they get what they deserve. I am Justice.”

Serenity looked at the phone, which wasn’t ringing from the callback from the real estate lawyer who couldn’t give her any good advice anyway. So, if she couldn’t get good advice at least she could make bad promises.

“Okay,” Serenity said, “get out of here and let me handle it. I promise I’ll take care of this. And protect the library. And you.”

Doom opened her mouth to say something but Serenity pushed her out the door.

“And Doom—switch to decaf.”

Doom made an un-superheroish “mmph” sound and spun out of the room.

Serenity decided to switch to super-decaf herself and opened the left-side desk drawer. She took out the fresh bottle of Myers and broke the seal. As she was pouring, Faulkner stuck his head out of the stacks.

“Oh, hell, no,” she said. “I’m not feeding you anymore.”

She sat sipping and staring at the phone. Promised herself she’d call Joe after one sip. After that sip, she promised she’d call when the cup was half-empty (nothing seemed half-full right now.) Then maybe after the cup was all empty.