Eka Kurniawan - Beauty is a Wound

Dewi Ayu began to worry about Shodancho when he hadn’t returned from the guerrilla hut after a week’s time, because he usually didn’t stay for quite so long. With the help of two retired soldiers who had once been Shodancho’s men, she hacked through the jungle on the cape looking for him. They found an appalling and pathetic corpse. His face was almost completely destroyed, so the only part of him they could immediately recognize was the remnants of his uniform. The ajak hadn’t dragged him away, they had eaten him on the spot, while he was still warm, and the buzzards were pecking at what few pieces of muscle and meat still clung to his bones. Dewi Ayu had arrived right before these began to rot.

They brought him back to Alamanda in a black plastic bag, the kind firefighters use to carry the corpses of burn victims to the morgue, and to her, after placing the black plastic bag at her feet, Dewi Ayu said:

“Child, I am bringing you the bones of your man. He was killed and eaten by ajak .”

“I had a feeling that might happen, Mama, ever since he came to town with those ninety-six ajak to hunt pigs,” said Alamanda, not looking in the least bit forlorn.

“Be a little sad,” her mother said. “At the very least because he didn’t leave you anything in his will.”

Alamanda buried those bones with the bits of torn flesh stuck on them, looking like beef bones that are chopped up and sold for soup. Shodancho was buried in the memorial cemetery for war heroes and they held a military ceremony for him. At least Alamanda gave thanks for that, because if he had been buried in the public cemetery, she would have worried that his ghost would fight with the ghost of Comrade Kliwon. He would be peaceful in the memorial cemetery for war heroes, with a casket and the national flag wrapped around him. They shot off the cannons to pay him his final respects, but Alamanda imagined that her husband’s ghost was being catapulted, so that he would be as dead as dead could be, and that made her a little bit happy too.

Now she was truly a widow, just like her two younger sisters.

“I first realized you were on a quest for revenge when they massacred the communists and that Comrade had to face the firing squad,” said Dewi Ayu, returning her attention to the evil spirit.

“He should have died then, an excruciating death.”

He should have died then, an excruciating death .

“But love showed its true strength,” said Dewi Ayu. “Alamanda intervened right at the moment he was to die.”

The evil spirit laughed mockingly, “And then she fucked him more than ten years later, right before he killed himself. Killed himself. Killed himself!!! He died! Ha. Ha. Ha.”

And then she fucked him more than ten years later, right before he killed himself. Killed himself. Killed himself!!! He died! Ha. Ha. Ha.

“But I finally realized what was going on.”

It was true. Dewi Ayu had realized that the evil spirit was plotting its revenge. She had guessed that he would try to destroy the love of her family, the remaining descendants of Ted Stammler, just as Ted Stammler had destroyed the love he had with Ma Iyang, although she didn’t think the revenge would be this cruel. Even when that evil spirit was still alive, still just a man, Dewi Ayu had felt his bottomless sorrow deep in her own heart, even before she had met him. This led her to blind love, and drove her to marriage. She wanted to give him the love he had never gotten from her grandmother Ma Iyang after she had been stolen by her grandfather Ted Stammler, but the man had refused to accept her love, a love that was completely pure, that came from deep within her guts. That was when Dewi Ayu had realized that his love for Ma Iyang was irreplaceable, and she felt how he suffered more and more, after his one and only true love had been ripped out at the root. So when he died, Dewi Ayu knew that he was sure to become a vexed and vengeful and tragic ghost who would never rest in peace in the world of the dead. And it was true. That ghost followed her wherever she went. She had sensed its presence at Bloedenkamp, in the whorehouse, and in both her homes. But she hadn’t known that it had been plotting its evil revenge until the morning she heard that Comrade Kliwon, the man beloved by both Alamanda and Adinda, was to be executed.

“He wasn’t even married at that time, and I would not let him die before he married one of your children. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

He wasn’t even married at that time, and I would not let him die before he married one of your children. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Not long after Shodancho’s death, with her conviction undeterred, Dewi Ayu had finally summoned the evil spirit with the help of that jailangkung kid Kinkin. And now the evil spirit stood in front of her, laughing uncontrollably, showing his bottomless and malicious joy.

“This is the evil spirit who time and time again prevented me from finding out who killed Rengganis the Beautiful,” said Kinkin.

“Yes, I even separated you from the one you loved. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Yes, I even separated you from the one you loved. Ha. Ha. Ha .

When she had learned, from the whispering winds and the howls of the ajak deep in the jungle, that at Alamanda’s request Comrade Kliwon had not been executed, Dewi Ayu believed that love still might be able to vanquish the vengeful curse of her husband’s ghost, but she wasn’t sure. For almost her entire adult life she had been thinking about this, thinking about how to save her daughters and guard their happiness, keep them free from the resentful curse of the evil ghost who would be her companion and her adversary for the rest of her life and beyond. So when her children married their husbands, she chased those couples away and told them never to return to her home. She didn’t chase away Maman Gendeng and Maya Dewi, but instead chose to move herself to a new house. She wanted to distance her children from the ghost, even though she hadn’t yet realized that he would exact such an evil revenge.

Her concerns again surfaced when, about ten years after her last daughter was married, Dewi Ayu got pregnant. Now, she was growing fresh prey inside her womb for the evil spirit. Dewi Ayu had to save the child, however she could. She tried to abort her baby in a number of different ways, so that it would never have to be born into this world, and would be free from all curses, from all revenge. But that child was so strong Dewi Ayu couldn’t kill it, and the baby kept growing in her womb. If it was a girl, she would be as beautiful as her older sisters, and if it was a boy, it would be the most handsome man on the face of the earth. A creature like that would be showered with love, and would have a lot of love to give, but all the while Dewi Ayu still felt the evil spirit lurking, waiting to target that love. He would destroy it, however possible, just as Ted Stammler had destroyed his love with Ma Iyang.

So she said to Rosinah, “I’m bored of having beautiful children.”

“If that’s how you feel, pray for an ugly baby.”

She had to give thanks to that mute woman, because her prayers were answered and for the first time she had an ugly daughter, uglier than any woman you would ever meet, even though ironically she was named Beauty. With a face and body like that, no one would ever love her, neither man nor woman. She would be free from the curse of the evil spirit. She had to give thanks to Rosinah.

“But now she’s pregnant!” bellowed the evil spirit. “Doesn’t that prove that someone loved her?”

But now she’s pregnant! Doesn’t that prove that someone loved her?