Kingsley Amis - Dear Illusion - Selected Stories

MORRIS: But, my lord, it is our positive duty to follow up this advantage.

CARDIGAN: No, we must remain here.

MORRIS: I implore you, do, my lord, allow me to charge them with the 17th. See, my lord, they are in disorder!

CARDIGAN: No, no, sir, we must not stir from here.

MORRIS: ( Turning away ) Gentlemen, you are witnesses of my request.

PAGET: We’re all with you, Morris. But it’s no good.

MORRIS: My God, my God, what a chance we are losing!

LUCAN and his staff .

NOLAN: ( Riding up ) Lord Lucan, sir, message from the Commander-in-Chief, sir.

LUCAN: Kindly read it aloud so that all may hear.

NOLAN: Sir. ( Reads ) Lord Raglan wishes the cavalry to advance rapidly to the front. Follow the enemy and try to prevent the enemy carrying away the guns. Troop Horse Artillery may accompany. French cavalry is on your left. Immediate. Signed by the second-in-command.

LUCAN: I see. Or rather I fail to see. I can see nothing. From here, neither enemy nor guns are in sight. I know the enemy are in possession of guns of ours captured at the emplacements, and there are guns, Russian guns, at the end of the North Valley with the remnants of their cavalry. Which guns are meant? And is there to be no infantry support? Cavalry to charge artillery? Absurd.

NOLAN: Lord Raglan’s last words to me were that the cavalry are to attack immediately.

LUCAN: Attack, sir? Attack what? What guns, sir?

NOLAN: There, my lord, is your enemy, there are your guns.

LUCAN: The Russian guns. At the end of the valley. Very well.

NOLAN: Will that be all, Lord Lucan?

LUCAN: Thank you, Nolan.

NOLAN rides over to MORRIS.

NOLAN: Good day, Captain Morris. Are you now in command of the 17th?

MORRIS: Good day, Captain Nolan. Yes, my superiors are all off sick.

NOLAN: We are to charge the Russian guns. Have I your permission to ride next to you?

MORRIS: By all means… Lew — you mean those Russian guns down the valley?

NOLAN: It’s our chance come at last, Ivor, our chance to show the world.

MORRIS: Oh. Very well. We must do what we can.

LUCAN rides up to CARDIGAN.

LUCAN: Lord Cardigan, in pursuance of this order from the Commander-in-Chief, you will advance down the North Valley with the Light Brigade. I will follow in support with the Heavy Brigade.

CARDIGAN: Certainly, sir; but allow me to point out to you that the Russians have a battery of guns in the valley on our front, and batteries and riflemen on both sides.

LUCAN: I know it, but Lord Raglan will have it. We have no choice but to obey.

CARDIGAN: I understand, sir.

LUCAN: Advance very steadily and keep your men well in hand.

CARDIGAN rides over to his staff .

SERGEANT: ( Calling to troopers) Right, pipes out there now. Don’t disgrace your regiment by smoking in the presence of the enemy.

PAGET: I hope that doesn’t apply to me, sergeant. I’ll wager there isn’t another cigar like this in all Balaclava.

SERGEANT: I think it’s up to you, sir.

PAGET: I don’t want to set a bad example.

CARDIGAN: ( Rides up ) Lord George, we are ordered to make an attack to the front. You will take command of the second line, and I expect your best support — mind, your best support.

PAGET: You shall have it, my lord.

CARDIGAN: In the first line, the 13th Light Dragoons, 11th Hussars, 17th Lancers. Second line, 4th Light Dragoons and the 8th Hussars.

STAFF OFFICER: Very good, my lord.

The regiments form up . CARDIGAN draws his sword .

CARDIGAN: ( Quietly ) The Light Brigade will advance. Walk march. Trot!

The troops set off, clearly audible owing to a sudden lull in firing. Then the distant guns crash out. As the first shots arrive, wounded men and horses cry out.

NOLAN: Oh, what have I done? Sweet heaven, forgive me!

He pulls ahead of MORRIS.

MORRIS: Get back in line, Lew! We’ve a long way to go and must be steady! ( Shouts ) Come back!

NOLAN overhauls CARDIGAN.

CARDIGAN: Here, captain, get back to your place in the line! Captain Nolan, get back, I say!

NOLAN: Now hear me, all you men!

The rest of his words are drowned in explosions. A final one is very near . NOLAN is hit. His horse wheels and begins to gallop back through the oncoming Light Brigade.

MORRIS: ( Horrified ) Oh Lew! Oh God, oh God!

From NOLAN

‘There burst a strange and appalling cry, a shriek so unearthly as to freeze the blood of all who heard him. The terrified horse carried the body, still shrieking, through the 4th Light Dragoons, and then at last NOLAN fell from the saddle, dead.’ The tumult of the battle fades to nothing.

CARDIGAN: That fellow Nolan behaved like a damned insubordinate dog, Scarlett. And a coward, too. Imagine the fellow screaming like a woman when he was hit.

SCARLETT: Say no more, my lord; you have just ridden over Captain Nolan’s dead body.

Sequence 6 — London

A convalescent home . CECIL is visiting MORRIS.

CECIL: You look remarkably well, Morris.

MORRIS: Yes, my lord, I probably do, for a man who’s had his head cut open here and there.

They laugh ruefully.

CECIL: How long will they keep you in this place?

MORRIS: I think they want to see me walk before they decide.

CECIL: ( Tentatively ) If it’s not too soon to ask you — what do you think happened at Balaclava?

MORRIS: Well, my lord, Lew Nolan was never an easy fellow to understand. He was behaving very oddly even for him when he rode up beside me just before the charge. But I’ve no doubt in my mind that about as soon as he read Lord Raglan’s order he decided to misdirect Lord Lucan. A great chance for Lew to test his theory about cavalry.

CECIL: But he underestimated the Russian artillery.

MORRIS: And his own feelings. Poor Lew hadn’t seen as much of the business of war as I had, and I reckon the sight of what those first shells did to our fellows and their horses was too much for him. It was a horrible reminder that cavalry are flesh and blood, not just part of a theory. I think when he was hit he was in the middle of telling us to turn back.

CECIL: ( Slowly ) Do you think he was influenced by my notion of bringing about something that would show our friends in St Petersburg the quality of British cavalry, their high morale and their bravery?

MORRIS: I couldn’t say for certain, my lord, but I know he was powerfully impressed by it. Especially by your last message. He’d set his heart on proving you were right.

CECIL: ( Heavily ) I see.

MORRIS: My lord, have you heard whether the news of the charge has had any effect… back there?

CECIL: Not as yet.

Sequence 7 — St Petersburg

ROGACHEV and his faction in conclave .

ROGACHEV: Surely this ‘charge of the Light Brigade’ shows little but the blind stupidity of the British cavalryman.

GENERAL: It may or may not show that, Count Rogachev. What it certainly shows is miraculous discipline and magnificent courage.

ROGACHEV: So you witnessed it, general?

GENERAL: Your honour must know that I had not the opportunity. Nor the privilege. But a soldier need not be a witness of such a thing. For a soldier, to be told is enough.

ROGACHEV: We must beware of attaching too much importance to a single event. What is it, major?

MAJOR: I did witness that event, my lord count, from behind the battery which the Light Brigade were attacking. With all respect to the general, you have to see such a thing. Such a thing! ( Begins to break down .) It was without parallel, it was unique, it was indescribable. The French general who saw it said it was magnificent, but it was not war. It was indeed magnificent, and it was war besides. ( Weeping ) Those noble fellows! If only we had ten such men in all Russia…