William Gay - Little Sister Death

He felt strange to himself, and he had no words to explain it. He felt bigger and curiously older, slowmoving. His mouth hurt. The countryside looked subtly different too. There in the moonlight, the trees seemed lower and closer together. The wind in their branches was foreign to him, whispered of bitter winters he’d never known.

The toolshed reared starkly against the heavens. The door swung soundlessly on oiled hinges. Inside the air was thick with the smell of new pine boards. He’d come across the floorboards pulling off his clothes.

She would be on a pallet of quilts against the wall and at his arrival she would rise to her knees on the quilts and shuck the dress off over her head. She wore nothing beneath it. She’d raise her hands to smooth her hair, the moonlight through the cracks rendering her body all black and silver, silver face and throat and sharp, pointed breasts, the darker pubic triangle under her silver belly. Something mysterious and profound, the very negation of her flesh.

He would fall with her onto the pallet, her hips already arching to meet him.

From the night Swaw had the first dream the house was quiet. Satisfied, perhaps. There were no rats, no lights bobbing toward the barn, no singing. No one save Swaw saw or heard anything you would not expect to see or hear.

Except for one occasion Swaw never heard about: Retha was hulling out walnuts in the hollow above the barn, and for some reason she looked up. Below her a man was walking toward the hall of the barn. He was an old man with muttonchop whiskers and he walked with his left leg dragging. He strode into the hall of the barn and out of her line of vision. She kept waiting for him to walk out the other side but he never did. She never mentioned it to anyone. He had looked so like a flesh-and-blood man it was some time before it occurred to her he could have been anything else, and by then it was too late.

What’s the matter with you? she asked him.

Nothin in this round world, Swaw said.

Then why are you in bed ever night before good dark? How come you ain’t never got a word to say to nobody?

Swaw pulled the covers over his chest. Through the window he watched the grove of cypress across the creek slowly vanish in sweet darkness.

Hell, I’m tired, he said. I been tryin to gather a corn crop singlehanded. I don’t see nobody offerin to help, neither.

I do what I can, she said. I been in the field same as you.

I know it. I meant them worthless girls.

You too tired to talk awhile? I get lonesome with them out courtin ever night, and Retha ain’t never had nothin much to say for herself. She sat on the edge of the bed.

I seen you prowlin around that old toolshed. You got a bottle hid in there.

Swaw had closed his eyes. He didn’t say anything. She sat there for a time in silence and then after a while he heard her sigh and then the corresponding sigh of the bedsprings when she got up. The door closed behind her.

Swaw opened his eyes. He lay waiting for the girl.

The rains of early fall began. The sky went slategray, dripped with leaden weeping. Forlorn and lostlooking birds foraged the barren fields.

He saw the sign first. Whoa, he called. The team ceased, the wagon halted, he began to hear the rain soft in the trees. He spelled out the words on the sign, his lips moving slowly as he did so. A TEMPLE OF THE HOLY JESUS REVIVAL, the first line read. In smaller print, the second: NIGHTLY AT 7:00.

Git up, he called. He snapped the lines. Around the curve he saw the tent and the old car. He saw them simultaneously, the old olivedrab tent set up in the field, ropes running taut to stakes driven at an angle in the earth, the hearselooking old sedan parked before it in the mud.

We’ll see about this, Swaw said. He stopped the team again, this time pulling them to the side of the road. He climbed down, checked to see if the groceries were covered with the tarpaulin. He took a halfpint bottle from the back pocket of his overalls and canted to the light. It was almost empty. He drained the bottle and tossed it into the ditch and climbed the embankment to the field, rain sitting on the brim of the old felt hat he wore.

The field was a sucking quagmire of mud. Gray water shoaled in wide, shallow pools. Swaw picked his way between them toward the wagon. He saw no one about the tent but he could see a man’s profile through the glass. Were it Swaw, he would have been trying to get the car back onto the solid surface of the road, but the man behind the steering wheel was just serenely watching it rain.

The car had once been black but the weather had faded it to sort of lusterless gray, the exact texture and color of old tar. The glass was cranked down to show a young man with red hair, bright as a rooster’s comb and shiny with Brilliantine. The man had gray eyes and acne-pitted skin.

How do, brother, he said. He thrust a freckled hand into the rain. Swaw took the hand and gave it a perfunctory pump and then dropped it.

Do you know where you’re at? he asked.

Yes, I do, the man said complacently. I’m settin in a fine automobile watchin God’s own rain fall.

You in the middle of Joseph Beale’s pasture is where you are, Swaw said. And he don’t ’low no trespassin.

The man nodded. He smiled, keeping his lips compressed, as if he had bad teeth. A fey dimple appeared in each cherubic cheek. Arrangements have been made with Mr. Beale, he said.

You must of arranged to be here awhile. I was you, I’d a been tryin to get out of here.

It’s God Almighty’s rain, friend. He’s not worryin about it.

God Almighty hisself couldn’t drive a T Model Ford through mud half kneedeep.

God’s love can splinter you to the heart like lightning killin a tree. Don’t blaspheme, brother. Have you been baptized?

Not in some time, Swaw said.

If you’re baptized in the blood, once is all it takes.

I’ve backslid a time or two.

The preacher was watching him with level eyes.

You ain’t going to get no meetin here tonight anyway.

Two is a meetin, friend, if one of em is in need of salvation and the othern is equipped to provide it. Don’t the Bible say wheresoever two or more are meet in my name, there I shall be also?

I reckon it does.

You ever handled the serpents?

Ever what?

Handled poisonous serpents when the spirit of God was on ye? Drank strychnine and lived to tell it?

Lord no. And don’t plan to.

Ever held your head in the fire and nary a hair was singed?

No.

Then you ain’t baptized and never have been. You ain’t never had the gift. The gift of salvation, neighbor. The faith to know that you can handle poison and serpents and God’s love is between your face and the fangs. That you can drink strychnine and know your stomach is coated with a salvation that poison can’t eat through. That’s the gift. Any of you ain’t true baptized, your soul will twist and turn in Hell like a paper burnin in the fireplace.

Jesus Christ never handled no snake, Swaw said. Never drunk no strychnine, neither.

Jesus died so the likes of me and you could stand here in the rain and argue about it, friend. That’s the price he paid for salvation. Me and you could get it a little cheaper.

Where you got these snakes?

Got em in boxes right inside that tent yonder. Got em in cages.

I figured bein as they didn’t hurt you you’d just let em run loose like a housedog.

The preacher looked at him with a pitying contempt. The spirit ain’t always on ye, neighbor. It comes and goes like the season.

What kind you got?

Copperheads. Timber rattlers. Got a cottonmouth big as your arm. A little coral snake I got in Texas pretty as a silk handkerchief.

Let’s see em.

Why, sure.