Jonas Karlsson - The Room

‘That’s probably right,’ I said.

Ann came up to us, and behind her trailed the rest of them. They ended up in a circle around Håkan’s and my desks. As if they didn’t really know where to go. As if I were going to read them a story.

‘What exactly is it that you want?’ Ann asked me.

She looked distraught. Unhappy. I wondered if she was about to burst into tears. I tried to answer in a gentle, friendly tone of voice.

‘I just want to do my job,’ I said.

There was muttering in the congregation.

‘And what do you think we’re doing, Björn?’

That was Håkan’s voice. He was having trouble getting to his place with everyone crowding round my desk. I looked up. First at him. Then at all the other anxious pairs of eyes around me.

‘Obviously I don’t know with one hundred per cent certainty,’ I said. ‘I can only speak for myself. Seeing as I have noticed the room over there and find a certain joy in working there, I have no option but to accept its existence, as I’m sure you can understand. I could work on the assumption that I myself am wrong and the rest of you right, but that doesn’t make much sense in my head. I simply have to assume that one of us is lying. Because I know that I am telling the truth, I draw the conclusion that the rest of you are telling untruths. That’s simply the logical conclusion.’

I saw several of them lower their gaze. Ann looked nervous. Jörgen was sweating.

‘What I can’t help wondering is whether you’ve done this before? As well as which of you are involved, and how you managed the practicalities? When did you decide? At what level has this been authorised? For instance, I don’t imagine that the DG has been informed about this, which is odd, seeing as you must surely all recognise that if something like this got out, it would mean the end for the whole department?’

Håkan looked at me with horror in his eyes and I had time to think: Now you get it!

‘In some ways it’s such a grandiose and detailed project,’ I went on, ‘and so ingeniously malicious that I can’t help being rather fascinated.’

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the desk.

‘It’s going to be very exciting to hear what the DG has to say when Karl comes back down. Taking the DG’s decision as my starting point, I am going to have to resolve how we proceed with all this. Who among you will be staying, and who will have to leave.’

I saw from the clock that it had gone half past eleven and I could feel my stomach starting to rumble gently.

‘The very least I can ask is that you agree to nominate one person who can take the time to go through exactly how it all worked with me: what important decisions were taken, who was the driving force behind it, who was in favour or opposed to it, and so on. That person must also be prepared to accept severe punishment and leave the organisation immediately. I suggest that you discuss this among yourselves and come back to me once you’ve decided upon a suitable candidate.’

I gathered my things together on the desk. I put on my coat and went off to lunch early.

On the way out I went straight to the door in the corridor, opened it and stepped inside. I stood there for a good while, thinking: Soon you’ll be mine.

As soon as I returned from lunch Margareta in reception informed me that a meeting was about to start. I had treated myself to some sushi from the little restaurant just across the street from the big, red-brick building. I had sat there eating my raw fish and looking out across the square with its incomprehensible sculptures. I took my time, and was well aware that I was slightly late as I climbed up the flight of grey steps leading to the Authority.

‘They’re waiting in Karl’s office,’ Margareta said.

As usual, I thought, and took the lift up. I went into the glass cubicle and tried to get a glimpse of Karl. The whole department had been summoned and everyone had dutifully trotted into his office, but Karl wasn’t there yet. This was starting to feel like a habit. Håkan in his blue jacket.

Håkan was pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He was sitting on the desk where Karl usually sat, and he looked at me wearily. I started to get an idea of what this was about, and tried to work out who among the staff had been telling tales and thus indirectly occasioned this improvised meeting. Without Karl. From past experience it seemed most likely to have been Ann. She went and stood beside Håkan when I walked in, ready — responsible, somehow. With a look on her face that wasn’t entirely dissatisfied.

Don’t they ever get fed up? I thought, and let out a small sigh.

‘Ann, you had something to say to us?’ Håkan began, like a sort of stand-in boss.

‘Yes,’ she said, tilting her chin.

‘Aren’t we going to wait for Karl?’ I said.

Håkan shook his head firmly.

‘No need,’ he said. ‘Well, what did you want to say, Ann?’

Ann stretched and took a deep breath.

‘Björn was standing there again.’

A murmur went round the room. One of those ‘oohs’ you sometimes hear in American sitcoms when the audience reacts obediently to something cute said by a child. But there was nothing cute about this. This was an expression of ‘What did we say?’ and ‘Knew it! He’s done it again!’.

‘And this time I’ve got witnesses,’ Ann said.

The loaded atmosphere in there, their infernal obstinacy and united front made my cup run over. I could hear that I was speaking louder than necessary when I was no longer able to hold back the torrent of frustration growing inside me.

‘That’s absolutely true, my friends,’ I said. ‘I have made use of the room for all manner of activities. I have gone there on a daily basis in recent weeks. I have done most of my — and forgive me for putting it like this — singularly successful work in there, during the evenings and at night. And yes, I intend to carry on doing so.’

I went round the desk that Håkan and Ann were leaning against and sat down on Karl’s very comfortable office-chair. The others looked at me.

‘That’s enough now. More than enough. You have just obliged me to meet force with force. I have no other option but to put myself up against you all.’

There was total silence in the room. You could have heard a pin drop.

‘There are a couple of you that I could imagine reaching an accommodation with. You, John, have shown a degree of loyalty. And that will obviously be rewarded. The rest of you can start packing your things, because from now on the following applies: I will only stay on the condition that you go.’

I leaned back calmly in the chair.

‘Now, I suggest that we wait for the DG’s decision.’

Five, six, maybe seven minutes of intense silence passed inside Karl’s office without anyone so much as moving a finger. No one could think of anything to say or do. It was like everyone was holding their breath. Finally Karl came rushing in in a very undignified manner, breathless and with beads of sweat on his forehead.

‘Hello, everyone. I’ve come straight from the DG. We spent a long time talking. I informed him about everything … well, everything that has happened, and our various different opinions about … and I can tell you that …’

He paused and looked at me, slightly uncertain. Maybe in an attempt to gauge my reaction in advance, maybe to be sure he still had me with him. He went on slowly and clearly: ‘—The DG and I have had a … conversation … about the room. By which I mean, its existence or otherwise, and so on.’

The entire room was utterly silent. Karl cleared his throat. I saw Håkan swallow, and Jörgen loosened his tie slightly.