Su Tong - Madwoman On the Bridge and Other Stories

‘Hey, what are you talking about?’ Li Yong said, ‘Me and bro, we don’t split hairs. Me eating it is the same thing as him eating it. Isn’t that right, bro?’

That secretive smile once again appeared for a moment on Cui’s face and he nodded at Li Yong to indicate his approval. But then, to her surprise, Cui extended his liquor glass towards Miaoyue. ‘Boat trips are boring,’ he said, ‘How about it? Have a sip?’

‘I don’t drink!’ Miaoyue almost screamed. The movement with which she pushed away the liquor glass seemed too shocking, her voice too piercing, as if Cui had offered her a glass filled with poison. She realized she had been rude. Her face flushed with shame and she walked to the cabin door, glancing first at Li Yong, then at Cui, then suddenly she opened it and ran out.

Underneath the lamps the deck was half-lit. Deeply perturbed, Miaoyue stood in the darkness. The river was murky in the night and not many people were looking out into it from the deck. The sound of their talking fell into the oblivion under the thunderous slapping of water against the hull. According to the original plan, Li Yong ought to have been out there with her, watching the night scene. But the trip had taken a somewhat peculiar turn; now she was standing alone, and what she saw in front of her was a liquor glass, the liquor glass Cui had held in his hand. Miaoyue reflected that perhaps she had been too sensitive — maybe the liquor glass had no particular significance. He and Li Yong were so close; what significance could it have?

The curtain of darkness was hanging heavily over the river’s surface, the nightscape being admired by the passengers on deck was in fact just a boundless navy blue, with a crescent moon, pinpricks of stars and scattered lights near and far. The breeze from the river was both strong and fierce, and after standing in it for a long time she felt a little chilled. An odd thought suddenly crossed her mind: if Li Yong came now and draped a piece of clothing over her shoulders, perhaps there might still be some hope for their love, but she knew it was only her romantic imagination.

Miaoyue went back to their cabin to fetch some clothes, but when she had reached the door she decided to eavesdrop on the men’s drunken banter. She put her ear to the door, but all she heard was the sound of someone throwing up. Then she heard Li Yong’s voice, ‘What’s a girlfriend, after all? A bro is like an arm or a leg, but a woman’s like clothing: you can throw her off whenever you feel like it.’ Miaoyue could hardly suppress her anger, but just as she was about to storm in, the door opened and Cui dragged Li Yong out, totally soused. Cui wasn’t at all surprised to see Miaoyue. ‘He’s drunk,’ Cui said casually. ‘I’m taking him to the bathroom. He’ll be fine when he’s finished puking.’

Miaoyue walked a few paces with them and saw that Li Yong had a slipper on one foot, but that the other foot was bare. They had only taken a few steps before Li Yong threw up. A foul liquid spouted from his mouth and splattered onto the floor of the corridor. Miaoyue stopped instinctively, turned her head away and screamed, ‘Yuck!’

The cabin reeked of liquor. Miaoyue waved her hands around in a vain attempt to dispel it, but after a moment gave up. Then she removed a jacket from her travel bag and hurriedly took to her heels. As she passed the bathroom she caught a glimpse of the two men crouched inside; one puking, the other with his head raised high, throwing a look at Miaoyue that was bright but penetrating. She lowered her head and walked on quickly, then she heard Li Yong call out her name, ‘Miaoyue! Miaoyue! Where are you? Why are you ignoring me?’

She laughed coldly and carried on walking, ‘You’ve got your bro. Puke away! Puke away and get right back to your drinking!’

Miaoyue had nowhere to go, and her steps led her back onto the deck. A crew member was working on something by the railing, but kept on looking up to stare at her. She blew up at him. ‘What are you looking at? I’m not going to jump!’ She rolled her eyes, then leaned on the railing to sulk. She was angry with Li Yong and she was angry with Cui. She didn’t know why she was angry with Cui, maybe it had something to do with that glass of liquor.

A few people came on deck and a few left. A couple snuggled up to one another under the cover of darkness — the girl’s hair had been blown loose by the wind and the boy was holding it in both hands. Miaoyue began observing them covertly but it made her feel dejected and heavy-hearted. All at once she remembered a night not long ago, when she and Li Yong had kissed in the city gardens. It had been just as ardent, just as romantic, but now it had become impossible to call to mind the flavour of those hot kisses. It had all become false and distant, and Miaoyue didn’t know whether it was a problem with Li Yong or herself.

The steamboat passed another port, and the lights in the houses slowly dimmed one by one in the distance. The faint sound of a TV emerged from somewhere on the banks; the evening news had just pronounced its earnest farewells. More people went below, and now only she and the couple remained. Miaoyue was still reflecting on her relationship with Li Yong; but since those are the kinds of questions that actually get more confusing the more you think about them, she ordered herself to stop. Instead, she spread her fingers, and counted them one by one. She didn’t know how many times she had counted them when she realized a shadow had crept up softly behind her. It wasn’t a stranger, though, it was none other than Cui.

‘Don’t bother counting.’ He laughed, ‘No matter how you count, there will always only be ten.’

Miaoyue glanced at Cui and said nothing. After a moment she enquired, ‘How is he?’

‘Asleep. He threw up all over the bathroom,’ Cui said, ‘Don’t worry. Getting drunk is nothing to worry about, he’s fine now that he’s finished puking.’

‘And why did you stop drinking? You’re not drunk,’ she said.

‘I don’t get drunk so easily,’ Cui said, ‘Don’t you know what they say? Good guys are easy drunks. Li Yong’s an easy drunk; ergo, he must be a good guy.’

‘I know he’s a good guy. You’re not, though.’

‘For a bad guy, I’m a good guy. Li Yong’s a good guy straight up.’

‘Why are you telling me this? That’s a weird thing to say.’ Suddenly she laughed and turned her head towards the river. ‘What’s all this good guy, bad guy stuff? Is this a morality court?’

‘A morality court is wherever you conduct one.’

‘Is this a trial? What right do you have to judge me?’ She lifted her head to look straight at Cui, her expression one of defiance.

‘I don’t have the authority to judge you; I just suspect you.’

‘Suspect me of what? Of being an American spy?’

‘Oh no, a simple girl like you wouldn’t make a good spy.’ Cui muttered to himself and one of his hands kept hitting the railing. Then he said, ‘Li Yong’s a pretty simple guy. He doesn’t really have women figured out, but I saw right away that you don’t love him.’

Miaoyue’s heart gave another thump and she turned her head to look at the faraway riverbank. In order to cover up her bewilderment, she wiggled her shoulders with a forced display of nonchalance. ‘Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,’ she said. ‘And what does it have to do with you?’

‘It has a little to do with me.’ The equivocal smile still played on his features. He brought out his cigarette pack, shook one out and stuck it in his mouth. ‘Li Yong’s a very nice guy. As you know, he depends a lot on me.’

‘I know he does,’ Miaoyue said, ‘You men like to say that when a friend’s in need, sharpen your knife. Are you going to stab me now?’