Carlos Gamerro - An Open Secret

Again the flashes of a past that’s more and more my own. Still half-asleep, barefoot on the kitchen tiles, standing in front of the door to the dinette. The sobbing that’s been partly responsible for waking me, a face blurred by time and tears, and a hunched body perched on the edge of the brocade sofa, the stern expression of my grandmother, saying close the door and tell Jacinta to make your breakfast. “Don’t you think?” I hear my Auntie Porota ask and I come out of my trance and say, “What?”

“I was saying she must’ve gone to ask your grandfather to sort it out I imagine, him being the mayor and all. I reckon that must be why she swallowed her pride and went to talk to your grandmother. She even went to see the judge, Dr Carmona, would you believe it, I don’t know if you’ve met oh of course through Leticia then you must know they hated each other with a venom because Delia pinched her boyfriend Darío’s father no less and the judge — she was still Estelita Souza in those days — never forgave her. A real catch he was Don Diego Ezcurra, Delia couldn’t stop crowing when she arrived here with him on her arm one of the most sought-after bachelors in Rosario not a penny to his name but always down at the Jockey Club and anyhow with what her Papá left her Delia had money to burn whereas Estelita’s all right thanks to Judge Carmona she’s made a career for herself but dear me wasn’t the old man ugly, and long-lasting as well!”

“CHE I SPOKE TO DR CARMONA,” Leticia mentioned to me one lunchtime when she got back from work. “You were right. Neri went to see her too. They talked about the mother more than anything, Doña Delia. Neri, Dr Carmona told me, was concerned about what she might do. If I were you, I wouldn’t worry Superintendent she says she told him, you don’t know her the way I do. She doesn’t care about anybody but herself, not even her son. Once,” Dr Carmona had explained to Leticia, who repeated it to me, “the boy cut himself on some glass on top of a wall and on the way to the little ward instead of picking him up in her arms she dragged him along by the hand, crying and pouring blood, so it wouldn’t stain the dress she’d just bought in Buenos Aires. The little boy was terrified and tried to hug her skirts and all she said was Don’t touch me Darío, eh, don’t even dream of touching me. A mother like that should have custody taken away from her at birth, the law should be changed I tell you. Of course, that isn’t what I told the Superintendent,” Dr Carmona had told Leticia, “I said to him Just do your job and stop worrying, there’s nothing to fear from Delia de Ezcurra. And who could have imagined her,” she’d told Leticia, “waiting for me at the door at seven in the morning to catch me before I went in? She never used to set foot outside her door before ten seeing how long it took her to get dressed and done up. Didn’t give a hoot about him when he was alive, and all of a sudden she’s playing the Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalen at the same time, should’ve remembered her son while there was still time she should, too late for tears dear,” Leticia repeated Dr Carmona’s words. “I think she was doing it to attract attention, and to piss me off of course. As if she didn’t know the legal channels were a waste of time in those days, we used to use habeas corpus to turn the gas fire on, I don’t know if you’ll remember? Oh, that’s right, I always think you go further back than you do. Well eventually she started waiting for me at the door at seven every morning to give me a hard time in front of all and sundry. In the end I had to ask the Superintendent to let me use the jailhouse gate and went in through there every day. Sheer histrionics believe you me, played the desperate mother to a tee, same with her husband, her big chance to play the role of the grand widow, I don’t know if you know but she hired a funeral parlour in Rosario; Fuguet or Toro Mocho weren’t good enough for her, no sir, had to be Rosario. Next thing you know it’d’ve been Paris. And then — you won’t remember, you were too young — the widow, tarted up in a mourning dress with a plunging lace neckline. All for show, no one as far as I know saw her shed a single tear over her husband, but of course that isn’t what I told the Superintendent,” Dr Carmona had told Leticia. And Leticia had told me that Ezcurra’s mother and Dr Carmona had been friends since they were girls and had gone through high school and started their law degrees together, and that Delia had dropped out after stealing her girlfriend’s boyfriend, a lecturer at the University of Rosario and a starving lawyer, and made him drop his teaching work and brought him to Malihuel to set up in practice. The future Dr Carmona finished her degree and had a meteoric career in the province’s convoluted legal system, but she never forgave her friend for her treachery and was eaten away by jealousy and envy. In Delia’s eyes — the town’s eyes as well — women went to university to find a husband, and whoever finished her degree had failed. “She came back here,” Leticia went on, “and married the examining magistrate, old Carmona, who was already a grandfather, so there was never any question of children, I’ll get even with her later Dr Carmona must have thought but the old man lasted till he was ninety-five and by then of course she was well past it wasn’t she, maybe she found a way of blaming Delia for that too, you know how it is.”

“WELL I THINK IT MUST’VE BEEN, was it the same day Chesi that Delia went back to see Clota’s husband? It must’ve been mustn’t it, if there was one thing Delia was no good at it was waiting. Very impulsive she was, in everything, so she went over to headquarters which is only a block away from your grandmother’s and asked, or rather demanded, at the top of her voice to talk to the chief someone may also’ve told her her son was in there I wouldn’t know and when they told her the Superintendent wasn’t there she got all well you’ve no idea screaming and shouting she’d seen his car outside you know that space out front that fills with relatives’ cars on Sundays which is visiting day well Don Armando used to leave his there so imagine the things Delia must’ve said to the officer on duty she didn’t mince her words when she got mad and the poor fellow of course it was nothing to do with him Would you like me to file a complaint Señora and Delia tells him he can stick his complaint in well you can imagine where she told him What I want is my son you let him go right now and if you’ve so much as laid a finger on him I’ll sue the lot of you you’ll be begging on the streets if the Superintendent doesn’t show his face this minute. But either they wouldn’t give in to her or maybe it was true Don Armando wasn’t there used to spend a lot of time going from town to town he did such a responsible man everyone around here says he was the best chief of police we’ve ever had or maybe he left an order not to be disturbed and Delia well imagine she wasn’t going to just waltz in there because she was a friend of his wife’s me the time Leandrito got beaten up by some darkies from Chabás I think they were at that nightclub of Bermejo’s the times I told him not to hang around there imagine my son all covered in blood I went through the entries desk though and it was the Superintendent himself who came over and said to me Doña Poro why didn’t you come straight to me so helpful he was so if he didn’t want to see Delia there must’ve been a reason for it mustn’t there really her manners dishing out orders instead of asking, like mother like son maybe if they’d been pleasanter with people it would’ve turned out all right in the end. And what I’m telling you mind I’m not one for repeating gossip we got it straight from the horse’s mouth Chesi and I did because Clota was here she’d come to give us a hand with all the kids’ things one pinafore from last year was too small, another new one was too big and had to be taken in, and she didn’t have any herself because one died young on her and later she couldn’t or didn’t want to you know I’m not one for poking my nose in especially in painful things like that and for example when the start of classes came around I think it did her good to help, like a second mother she was to our two, they still remember their Auntie Clota today and so do Chesi and I so many years and while she was alive she never wanted to come back of course it was so hard what happened left her with a great bitterness the two of them were so happy at the prospect of staying on in town Clota never stopped talking about the new house and showing us magazines of what it would look like and in the end they were treated like dogs worse than dogs and her husband they say the upset did for him that he started drinking. To Chesi and me she was how can I put it we were like three sisters and your grandmother too of course like the elder sister you know she usually comes, every month it used to be, once a year now she’s sold the house and we visit as well when we go to Rosario and well some people must just know how to make themselves loved Delia on the other hand I mean imagine we all grew up together, though she always considered herself how shall I put it a cut above the people from town let’s say you know always going on about her trips and her books and her clothes, whereas Clota her husband was the chief of police but she didn’t need to show off so much more like how should I say more you know like a sister, can you picture Delia darning socks for somebody else’s boy never mind her own, her ladyship would never stoop so low as to pick up a thimble oh no, not her. So there we were the three of us you know with the pinafores shortly before noon it must’ve been because the kids weren’t there yet or our husbands and Delia comes barging in, not even a hello, and Clota I swear she jabbed herself with the needle out of fright it made her bleed poor thing We’re going to headquarters because your husband’s trying to fob me off and I know they’ve told me my boy’s in there let’s see if he has the guts to lie to my face with you there. And Clota who was I don’t know if you ever met her you know very quiet never one for raising her voice but mind you don’t say a wrong word about her husband and she says putting down her sewing Delia she says all right I’ll come with you but only so you see that what you’ve just said about my husband is slander and apologise for believing the first person you come across instead of your bosom friend, and I could see her eyes filling with tears and when Delia got like that she didn’t give a hoot about the other person, Yes yes I’ll apologise to you and him and the dog too in good time and she left me standing there with the gauze and the alcohol and dragged Clota off by the arm didn’t even shut the door when she left. And I still wonder which one of us tipped her off don’t you?”