Jane Unrue - Love Hotel

Don’t look.

I think it was a robe but could have been a coat. He turned around.

Don’t let him think you noticed him.

What launched his getting back into the elevator was a glance at me. I indicated to this man that he was not where he belonged. Unless the man was merely trying to avoid me. If to see me meant wrong floor to him then

whether below

above

I told myself

he must be staying

vertically

that is

in

302

the same room as my

502

Unless

I told myself

he’s staying in the room next door

Unless

which

404

Regardless

Seeing me was something that the man had wanted to avoid. If that is true I told myself then I am likely onto something here.

I hurried back into my room where the unexpected sight of my tote bag pocketbook along with other little bags all loaded on the chair my coat draped over it convinced me to leave the floor lamp on for the rest of the night.

But then one blustery day the calls began to

Concerning the calls they had received since he had disappeared there was a new development about which only one of them was

Then the calls started to change he said to me.

Night Four: We stood within the ENTRANCE

BUSINESS

underneath the taller narrower gable left of ENTRANCE

MAIN.

Originally built he said f or secret access to and from the study.

She had gone to check on dinner. He was there with me alone.

So this is how it is I told myself. The three of us. The smell of dinner. Rest of the world be damned.

According to his story she away for weekend errands he home washing dishes tidying up a bit

Staff’s off on weekends he had (Night One) told me.

Night Four: when the phone rang. This most recent call he answered from this no one calling them from nowhere was a call about which he decided not to tell her.

But I’m telling you he said. I thought I felt his leg approaching mine.

This time unlike the other times there was a noise in the receiver.

Hey you two she called out from the STUDY

door popped open showing us a tempting glimpse into the STUDY

I’ve been looking everywhere for you.

She often asks herself how she can best receive these sentiments of deep affiliation that attempt to reach her from she knows not where. She’s deeply conscious of the sender but she cannot reach the sender. Therefore she has nothing to do but wait inside this room

all blue

all patternings

varieties of undulation.

Feelings that had once been shock now float about her like a galaxy of silver dots.

Next morning exiting through the automatic doors then crossing through the patio to take the two steps up into the little ivy covered archway I was for the second time confronted with the vision of abandoned businesses across the street. However on that dreary morning those uneven overhangs doors windows boarded painted overpostered mismatched signs seemed oddly unified.

We have a favor to ask you she had said.

How could I find someone in such a place as this I asked myself. When staying in the patio for any length of time to see who comes who goes is not an option. Same for watching from across the street.

Instead of going out for breakfast I had waited out the morning rain repacking polishing off my snacks. Now headed back to (Recommended: Y) I felt so disappointed. Worried. Even fearful. I was wondering if this whole trip wasn’t just a serious underestimation of the challenges in finding someone who so clearly

On my left the drugstore then the market suddenly I realized

Public Library at my back

I found that I had turned the corner going in a new

I walked. I headed in a new

She said I just can’t tell you what this means to me .

I walked.

He said To us.

Until I stopped. I checked the guidebook. Started toward the concrete ramp.

Divided into thirds by swooping golden banisters the massive staircase had been made entirely avoidable by the presence of the concrete ramp off to its left.

I rolled my suitcase up to enter through the double doors then followed the sign to where I checked my (Bag Storage: Y) then stuffed my other things inside a (Lockers: Y) before I got into the nonmembers line for (Family/Senior/Group Rates: Y).

But are you absolutely certain that they don’t know where I am?

The evening when this journey first began I felt no little trepidation for the task that I was taking on. However as I went through my belongings one last time despite the guidebook’s lack of anything encouraging to say about it I imagined my accommodations as a small oasis

respite from a life that I had wanted for so long to find a way to

Grateful for the circumstances that had like a miracle

Because you can anticipate the needs of other living forms you also understand the need for sacrifice.

It came to me that I

And in acknowledgment of this you’re being handsomely

I was convinced that finally I had received the opportunity to have the sort of

find a way

She said We knew it just as soon

Indeed as we approached the station as the distance from the swarm increased as light accumulated bit by bit around the car as we got closer to the place for pulling over at the station taking up the empty seat beside me in the car I started to imagine him for whom I would be searching sitting there when we would all be riding back to the estate the four of us together in the car.

We just can’t tell you how much we

However when I got on board that train I was reminded of a pairing of environments

two worlds that must remain apart

a powerful relationship

He said It’s true. He said You really are.

blue skies

green rolling hills

a glittering wavy line across the broad horizon.

She said She knows what she is.

White puffy clouds above

bright flashing colors down below.

When I arrived at that hotel the feeling that I had was even more unsettling. Jesus God what am I doing here I asked myself. That night I tried to call them but they did not answer it.

They did not ever answer any of my calls again.

Although the guidebook clearly noted quite a few

(Successive Nights: N) (Restaurant: N) (Bar: N)

potential inconveniences

before arriving

Know what I mean?

I thoroughly anticipated seeing people in the elevator

hallways

going in

out

waiters maybe maids at least

not only fleeting shadows

flashes

Man 1

2

I pictured couples meeting talking waiting (Smoking: Y) reclining in the (Lobby Seating: N).

It’s true. The lobby wasn’t much. No telephones no cubbyholes no wingback chairs.

I’ll try to trace this back to where it started from again.

The night we met I did not stay the night. They had me driven home by taxicab. As we progressed along the rural roads the city glowing up ahead I watched a gently broken playback of the night. When I awakened due to our arrival at my building I remember looking at the rearview mirror for the taxi driver’s eyes. I have no memory of the taxi driver’s eyes. It was as if the taxi driver had no face.

I fully wanted to expect that on the following Friday I would turn around at work to see them sitting there again. But when that Friday came they were not there.

BETWEEN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS I frequently discovered I had slipped into a halfway dreaming state in which I walked inside a tunnel. I would stop hold up a candle to the tunnel walls as if in search of something on or in the walls.