Alex Preston - The Revelations

‘It’s my study,’ the Earl interrupted. ‘I rarely use it these days, but I like to have a place to work when I’m in the country.’

‘Lee was standing at the window looking down at the moon on the lake and crying. I went up behind her and tried to comfort her, but she was absolutely wild. I couldn’t get near to her. She said that the Course was responsible for her depression. That she had been happy before all the guilt. That was how she put it. She told me what had happened with Marcus on the boat and then she just dissolved in tears.

‘I thought about going to get David or you, Marcus, but she stormed back downstairs and into her room. She started to throw her clothes into a bag, said she was going to walk to the train station at Banbury. She told me that she hated us. That she wished we were all dead.’

A large tear rolled down the left side of Mouse’s face.

‘She ran away from me down the corridor and then started down the stairs. I ran after, she slipped. . or she jumped. I couldn’t tell. She rose up into the air like she was trying to fly. I almost caught her. I was close enough to catch her, but I couldn’t quite grab hold of her jumper. She thudded all the way down the stairs and landed at the bottom with a horrible crunch.’

Mouse was sobbing now and drew his sleeve across his face. Abby let go of Marcus’s hand and crossed to sit on the arm of Mouse’s chair. She stroked his hair with her large hands.

‘When I got down to her she wasn’t breathing. I tried to give her mouth-to-mouth, but there was this huge dent in her head. I couldn’t believe that falling down the stairs could do that to someone, but she landed so hard, and it was marble at the bottom. I panicked. I don’t know why, but it felt like it was my fault. Like you’d all blame me for it, you know? I carried her down to the lake. I opened the boathouse and wrapped her round with fishing line and attached weights to it. I rowed out in the little boat and pushed her into the water. Then I drove your car up to Banbury Station to make it look like she’d run away. When you came down in the morning I’d just got back, Marcus.’

He stopped and looked down at his hands, then up at Marcus.

‘I’m sorry.’

Marcus was fighting for breath. ‘Jesus, Mouse,’ he said. ‘I mean, really. What were you thinking?’

Mouse looked back at him. ‘I just didn’t know what to do. She was dead.’

Marcus looked over at David.

‘So we’re going to the police, right? I mean, we have to tell them all this. Tell D.I. Farley. Mouse can claim diminished responsibility or whatever. I’m not sure that throwing someone who’s already dead in a lake is even an offence. But we have to tell them, don’t we?’

There was a long silence. Finally, the Earl spoke.

‘I don’t quite see who it helps, telling the police.’ His voice was a whisper.

‘Well, it helps Lee’s family for one. Her parents need to know what happened to their daughter. And surely it isn’t a matter of whom it helps. It’s about doing what is right. Lee died and the police need to know.’

Abby crossed back to sit next to Marcus.

‘David told me about this yesterday. I had a chance to think about it on the flight. I agree that it’s a very complex situation.’

‘I don’t think it is,’ Marcus interrupted her. ‘I don’t think it’s very complex at all. It seems like a very simple situation to me.’

‘Let me finish,’ Abby continued, her voice very calm. ‘It is complex. Isn’t it better for Lee’s family to have the hope that she isn’t dead? Isn’t it better that they think she might have gone off to a better life, stowed away on a ship or run off with a billionaire on his private jet? Of course, they’ll always think that she probably killed herself, but I don’t want to be the one who takes their hope away from them. Especially her father. He loved her so much, you know, and Lee was always saying how fragile he was. I worry that taking away this last bit of hope might finish him off.’

‘And more than that is what this would do to the Course.’ David stood in the centre of the room with his hands clasped in front of him. ‘Nothing that we can do will change things for Lee.’

‘She’s lying at the bottom of a lake, David. Of course we can’t change things for her.’ Marcus stood up and faced the priest.

‘Exactly,’ David continued. ‘I want to go up and have a service at Lancing Manor. Just us. Set her to rest properly — that is only right. But I am God’s servant and my obligation is to do what best serves God’s interests. If the news about Lee got out, it would destroy everything we have built here. The Course is about to take off in the States in a very major way. We are now in three hundred churches across the UK. Imagine all the good we’re doing. Imagine what it means to the priests to have their churches full. Imagine how many girls there are like Lee dealing with similar problems who will find a way to peace through God, and all because of the Course. If we go public with this, I will have to resign. The whole thing will come apart.’

‘Why?’ asked Marcus. ‘It’s Mouse’s fault. He can take the blame for this. Not you.’

David looked across at Marcus. ‘Because if Mouse speaks to the police he will have to tell them that one of the reasons that Lee was in such a state was because she had been taken advantage of by her best friend’s husband.’

Marcus sat down next to Abby. She was staring at the floor. The priest continued.

‘Infidelity, lies, a body in a lake. Of course I’ll have to quit if this comes out. Nonsense in a newspaper, I can handle. But not this. I should have seen it. The Devil was working in you and Lee all along, working his evil way through my own Course leaders, and now it is all ruined. Everything I worked to build. . ruined.’

David marched from the room, climbed the stairs and retreated behind the door of his study. The rest of the Course members sat in silence. After several minutes, the Earl stood up.

‘I must be getting home. The car is waiting outside. I take it we can rely upon your discretion, Marcus?’ He strode from the room.

Mouse fixed his large eyes on Marcus, hopefully.

Marcus turned to Abby and said, ‘I think we should go.’

*

When they got home, Marcus lifted Abby’s suitcase from the boot of the car and walked with her into the flat. She padded through the rooms, taking deep breaths, nudging the pile of unwashed shirts in their bedroom with her toe. Marcus felt bruised and empty. His head roared and he could barely speak through his swollen throat. He bent down and started to pick up the dirty clothes.

‘Sorry about the mess,’ Marcus began, but Abby threw her arms around him and kissed him long and wet on the lips.

‘I’m pregnant again,’ she said.

Marcus took her hands in his.

‘That’s amazing,’ he said.

‘I started feeling really tired in New York, and I realised that I hadn’t had my period. I know it’s only early days, but I think that if the baby has made it this far, through all this stress, then it must have a pretty good chance. I mean, I’m really not counting on it, but it just feels much more real this time. Much more like something that should happen to us, after Lee and everything.’

Marcus lifted her T-shirt and put a hand on her belly. Her stomach was warm and pudgy and he smiled at her.

‘How far gone do you think you are?’

‘Five weeks, maybe a little more.’

Marcus went out to the shops and bought some vegetables and chicken which he stir-fried in a wok. They sat and ate at the dinner table, facing each other, refusing to talk about Mouse or the meeting earlier. When they were finished, Abby pushed her bowl away and reached over to take Marcus’s hand.