Sheng Keyi - Northern Girls - Life Goes On

‘Go on, say it. I’m careless. You tell me what you think and I’ll examine myself, alright?’ Xiaohong said sincerely. She had worn a very short and very tight skirt today. She wasn’t a doctor so dressed a little more freely. She hoped he would look up and then he would certainly be done for.

He continued to keep his head bent over his work. It was as if he would spend a lifetime like that, never looking up.

Whack ! The lights went out. The streetlights outside the window were bright, the words Royal Hotel flashed through them, flickering on and off. The night’s lights cast a glow of indeterminate hue over the work room.

‘Eh? What’s this? There’s power upstairs and downstairs.’ Xia searched for the light switch and found Xiaohong standing devilishly beside it.

‘The fuse has gone.’

‘I’ll have a look.’

‘Even if you have a look, it’s still gone.’

‘Even if it’s gone, I’ll still have a look.’

‘Then have a look.’

‘I don’t want to have a look.’

Xia had fallen into the trap.

Finally displaying the strength reflected in those muscles, he forcefully squeezed Xiaohong’s big breasts. He plonked her onto the table and there atop the family planning, reproductive health and STD propaganda posters, he could resist no longer. He resolutely ravaged this demon that had provoked him. Using his own bodily fluids as glue, he stuck the posters to the board, nailing them down so hard no wind would blow them away. Soon, they would make a brilliant display in the streets.

VII

A new fellow named Xiao Yuan came to work in the administration office at the hospital, acting like a big shot. It turned out he was Youqing’s boyfriend. He had been employed before HR had assigned him a post, since they had not yet shuffled things round to accommodate him. It was all a game of musical chairs, really. Clearly, since Youqing’s father, the bureaucrat, had taken in Mr Liao’s son, Mr Liao had had to take on Youqing’s boyfriend, so as not to owe any favours or be indebted in any way. It evened the score and everyone was happy. It was an excellent idea, but no one could say for sure who had thought of it.

Of course, the suggestion almost certainly had come from Youqing. Only she was smooth enough to think of a solution that was so mutually beneficial to both parties. And in discussing the business with Mr Liao, only if she personally came up with the solution would there be any results. Most people, no matter how hard they worked, could not get things done, but some people needed only play their little games and everything was settled. In the course of a single meal, she could secure jobs for two people and get another promoted.

On her way to the washroom, Xiaohong ran into Xiao Yuan. They parted ways at the toilet door, one going to the left, one to the right. Xiao Yuan turned back to Xiaohong and smiled, his features rough, facial muscles taut, smile uneven. His actions were so like those of a bashful virgin that Xiaohong thought for a moment that he might go into the ladies’ washroom.

Youqing had shown up at work that day, exceptionally beautiful in both appearance and mood. She hummed and tapped her feet, instead of walking at her normal haphazard pace. She greeted Xiaohong warmly with a friendly smile, as if they’d always been close friends without any rift between them. What prompted her to be so forgiving and accepting, forgetting all past unpleasantness, and loving the world with such limitless passion?

‘It’s come! I’ve got my period!’ She announced with the same enthusiasm a woman who had been married for a long time would announce her pregnancy, causing a sort of emotional shock throughout the hospital.

‘Congratulations! Now you can get married and have a baby!’ the male doctors said.

She was like a treasure, with everyone asking all sorts of questions about her. ‘How is it? Is it heavy? Is it a bright red? Does your back hurt?’

The female doctors crowded around her, holding her little right hand, greatly concerned. Because of the situation surrounding her period, Youqing was something of a celebrity. Though beside herself, she calmly answered all of the questions the female doctors fired at her, going through every detail of the onset of the symptoms of her period through the feeling of its actual arrival. She spoke on and on about it at a snail’s pace, slow and meticulous. You have to understand, the arrival of Youqing’s period was like a child born to a couple advanced in years, worthy of celebration. She and her boyfriend had already made preparations for their future and were only waiting for the arrival of her period so that they could proceed.

Xiaohong’s nausea started at the same time that Youqing’s announcement was being made. She suddenly felt these people were like a hunk of fatty meat, producing both nausea and irritability as the stomach turned. Her belly longed for the leeks that grew from the soil in her hometown, so green and fresh, like a breeze blowing through the window into the house, bringing a cheerfulness with it. But when a real gust of wind blew, a real desire to vomit came with it, sticking in her throat. She held her breath, walked to the washroom and spewed into the sink. When she was finished, she calculated and found that her period was a week late. From her own experience with her body, she was sure a little worm had settled down and made its home inside her.

‘What’s this? Why are you having such a big reaction to my period?’ Youqing’s voice came to her suddenly. She leaned over the basin and pretended to wash her hands, drawing nearer to stare at Xiaohong. Then she calmly turned and left.

Xiaohong was surprised and a little embarrassed. She figured Youqing had heard her vomiting, but could not be sure the other girl had guessed why. The look on her face and tone of her voice when she spoke made it seem she had come pretty close to the mark. But, even if she knew Xiaohong was pregnant, she couldn’t say for sure who was responsible for it.

Who was responsible for it? At that thought, Xiaohong was a little confused herself. It might have been Liaos fluid that had got into her. Even just a drop could have this outcome. On the other hand, it could have been that Xia’s withdrawal had not been complete. A drop then could also have led to this result. So, which drop was more likely? Which drop? Which travelled faster? Which was more robust? Only that drop knew, only that secret path knew, only the womb knew.

‘Men are such shits!’ she scolded furiously. ‘Fuck! So careless. This is no small mistake. It’s huge! And to be mixed up with two men is nothing, until this sort of thing happens!’

Not long after Youqing had shouted, ‘I’ve got my period!’ she was caught up in a new type of distress. The flow went on for two weeks straight, creating big problems for her potential sex life. The menstrual cycle, if it didn’t come, was trouble. When it did come, it was even more trouble. Youqing’s period failed to come and it made her not quite a woman. But then, when it did come, it made it impossible to achieve another form of happiness as a woman.

Similarly, when Xiaohong’s period failed to come, new anxieties and worries welled up inside her. She could get married. But, to Xia Jifeng or Liao Zhenghu? If she chose the wrong one, sooner or later it would mean trouble. Nor could she be sure either would marry her. Actually, even when she was in the washroom vomiting, she already knew it was her fate to undergo an abortion.

When she knocked off work, her stomach churning, Xiaohong suddenly remembered how Xia had said, ‘The pork rib stew is pretty good.’ Unable to contain the violent wave of nausea that overcame her, she ran to the washroom and quietly cleared her belly of its contents. She wanted to go onto the rooftop and get some fresh air, to enjoy the breeze in solitude. Or, rather, to enjoy the breeze with the little fellow in her belly that was making her so exceptionally uncomfortable.