Sheng Keyi - Death Fugue

During this time Mengliu’s skill at brewing tea had improved, and he drank it like an addict. It was difficult to imagine how his meetings could be carried on without the beverage. Holding the cup, smelling, sipping — this series of actions could divert attention and demonstrate his leadership qualities. They contributed to the pretence of being serious, churning out ideology reports, digging up a batch of ideas wrapped in spirit, thrashing it out before the others, arguing, holding up their souls which were purer than snow as they cried out.

Rania sat down, looking dignified with her knees touching the underside of the round wooden tea table, her skirt falling over them to the ground. She wore a pale-pink lined jacket. Her neck was slender, with no sign of wrinkles. It was such a waste to use this unblemished youthful body to carry a foetus. Her maternal instinct was still hidden, she exuded a powerful sense of youthfulness and innocence. You could easily think of her as a competitive young girl. Mengliu was visualising her in this way, when she said to him, ‘Let me tell you the truth. I’m not pregnant with your child.’

Mengliu was not as shocked as she expected, his expression was cold. ‘Nothing strange about that. I’ve always doubted the government’s workmanship. In a place where abstinence is practised, this sort of confusion isn’t surprising. But I don’t understand why you are telling me.’

‘If you expose me for having premarital sex, you will be promoted.’

‘But I don’t care.’

‘That’s not being magnanimous. It’s cowardice.’

‘Even if it’s cowardice, that’s how I feel.’

‘You don’t mind at all?’

‘Rania, we are husband and wife in the legal sense, but we have no emotional connection. Still, what do you need me to do? I’ll give it my best shot.’

‘Please expose me.’

‘Why should I expose you? What benefit is there to you?’

‘Do you really want to go back? I know a secret passage.’

‘Huh? A secret passage? Why haven’t you escaped yourself then?’

‘Whether I’m to live or die, I won’t leave.’

‘Even if they’re all just out to test me, they shouldn’t have sent a novice like you to try.’

‘…Mengliu, I haven’t been sent by anyone to test you. I only want to know what you want. Even if I was pregnant with your child, you wouldn’t care about me. You’re the most cold-blooded man I’ve ever known.’

Mengliu handed her a glass of water. ‘Rania, the debt of bearing this child is best paid by Swan Valley.’ When she had calmed down a little, he went on, ‘I want to tell you something serious. Can you guarantee that you won’t tell anyone?’

She nodded.

‘This may sound a bit strange, but I’m sure you’re not from here. You’re from somewhere in Eastern Europe, such as Germany, Poland, the former Czechoslovakia, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria… your parents and siblings and friends must be there. Think about it. Isn’t that so?’

‘I don’t remember.’

‘I suspect that your memory has been tampered with. Tell me, what is the earliest memory you have? What year? Where?’

She thought, then shook her head.

‘I believe we can get to the bottom of this.’ Mengliu felt he could talk to her about the robot. He told her about his meetings and conversations with the machine and the circumstances surrounding them. ‘You have amnesia for a reason. And it’s not just you. It’s Juli, Esteban, Darae. They all have this problem. Perhaps after a few years I will be just like you, forget the past, my family and friends, and think of myself as Swanese. This is a frightening prospect. We will all be like fruit from a tree, picked and put in a basket, never knowing which tree we’ve come from. We’re alive, but our names are already recorded in Hades, we’re dead without having seen the grave. Our relatives grieve over us. Have you ever wondered why Esteban is dark-skinned, Juli appears to be of mixed Indian blood, Darae looks Korean, and you seem like someone from an Eastern European aristocracy? There are people here from all sorts of races. We all speak English in our own accents. It’s obvious we come from different countries. I can’t explain how. You say you are a child-bearing machine, and I’m just a breeding stud. We’re like grasshoppers on a string.’

‘I can see you are bewitched.’ The yellow leaves rustled as Rania spoke, coldly. ‘And quite sick.’

12

The meetings had become boring and were eventually replaced by debates. Esteban was always a major figure at the debates. On this occasion he was leaning against one of the pavilion’s pillars, watching the decorative fish in the pond as if he were one of them, a fish that had left the school and was swimming alone. Perhaps he had something on his mind, something he could not say to the fish, because the fish population was the incarnation of morality. He could only blow bubbles in the midst of the fierce ideological turmoil within him, and think of a plan while facing the bubbles as they floated constantly to the surface.

Mengliu threw a pebble into the pond, startling and scattering the fish. The lone black koi swayed its tail a few times, not moving from its spot. When Mengliu finally spoke to Esteban he said, ‘Who knows what fish think? When two of them swim together, can they be considered a couple? Do they have any concept of a family connection? Do they shed tears?’

He went on to say he was tired but he couldn’t sleep well. He woke up in the middle of the night and stared at the stars. He felt tortured. God had too many suffering souls to look after, and the devil was given free rein to go about at his pleasure. ‘What should I do Esteban? Tell me, Rania and I…don’t you think it’s just too absurd?’

The black carp started swimming away, looking for a more secluded spot. It stuck its head under a rock, leaving its rear exposed to the world.

‘Mr Yuan, to tell you the truth, you are the nastiest person I have ever met. You know it to be true too, but you don’t want to admit it.’

Talk of the spirit and that sort of thing was like a drug to Esteban. Once it had taken effect, a rosiness emerged from the darkness of his face. It was hard to describe that sort of radiance. It looked like he had activated some sort of impenetrable shield. No language or culture or onslaught of gun or cannon fire could shake his inner faith.

Mengliu remained silent for a while. Other than feeding the black fish with bits of the bread he held in his hand, he could think of no word or act that was consistent with his inner world.

But then he resumed. ‘I’d very much like to know where you are from. One day when we all return to our own homes, we should remain in close contact, and visit one another often. We may even become brothers in adversity. Actually, I’ve had a lot of brothers who’ve been through trials and tribulations with me, but you wouldn’t know. They bled, died, disappeared, fled, sought refuge elsewhere…but me, I have escaped through the gate of history, and I have lost contact with my brothers.’

Mengliu’s words felt fuzzy. He was like a koi blowing bubbles, with smooth spangled scales, perfect lines of muscle. He could not be singled out as he swam among the fish. The school made him feel safe and secluded. It was a quiet group of fish. They swam as one, playing by the rules. He became completely caught up in his recollections of the past. When he looked down again, the black carp had disappeared, leaving only an empty crevice and a confusion of young shrimp learning how to jump.

Several days of unusually heavy rain left Swan Valley in a state of disorder and darkness.

The rain showed no intention of stopping, so Mengliu took an umbrella and went out. The rain beat on the umbrella like a drum, creating waterfalls at its edges. He was like a rock, a wasted log, a huge ship, his heart turning in agitation. Later, the rain let up a bit, and a misty red strip of cloud appeared in the sky. The sun poked its face out, still half-hidden by the clouds. The light rain looked both alive and tired in the sunlight. He walked to Juli’s house, his shoes and socks getting soaked. It was just like the first time they had met, with Juli bringing clean clothes for him to change into. They started to talk about the rain. The great inconvenience it brought also had its benefits. It was as if Mengliu had come specifically to discuss the rain.