Sheng Keyi - Death Fugue

11

The officially-brewed recipes for pregnant women gave special attention to nutrition. There were three vegetables dishes, one or two meat dishes, and a soup, and in addition to these regular meals, there was a flexible supply of extras. If the pregnant woman vomited, complementary foods were to be taken immediately, and it was considered a traitorous act for an expecting mother to refuse food. Noble dedication would quickly overcome the symptoms of morning sickness, and the pale-faced Rania, each time she vomited, placidly ate another meal, only to expel it again in an ongoing cycle of eating and vomiting. She remained calm and maintained her appetite. She no longer minded the sounds or uncomfortable poses that her retching produced, she acted like a filter. Food and fresh fruit juice went into her mouth, and were deposited in the golden toilet bowl very soon after.

She lost weight very quickly, and her face grew sharp and her shoulders narrow, like the Mona Lisa morphing into Lin Daiyu, the willowy heroine of the sentimental tragedy The Dream of the Red Chamber . Her pale skin was suffused with green, her plumpness disappeared, a gaunt look took its place. The poor girl suffered the sacrificial pains of motherhood, she underwent a severe testing of her patriotic doctrines. Mengliu did not bother about any of this. He was immersed in his musings about the robot, and whether it was a dream or a real place he had visited. Perhaps his auditory hallucinations, or his perceptual problems, had become more serious. He was always in a daze, unable to recall even the names of Hei Chun and Bai Qiu, much less a line of their poetry. His permanent place was beside the window where he could see the mountains and the river and the herds grazing on the slopes, and hear the playful voices of the people floating by, as if he were seeing characters taken right out of the Old Testament. They had land and cattle, and God was always with them. He longed to talk to God.

The government and the scientists were very concerned about whether Mengliu and Rania’s offspring would be a genetic wonder. They took great pains to provide the necessary culinary and nutritional care, assigning Darae to be Rania’s nutritionist. When the weather was bad and there were no meetings, Mengliu was surrounded by an unshakeable sense of melancholy. Darae was the only friend he could talk to. Every time he saw him, it was like grasping at a lifesaver. Darae brought Rania his newly created dishes: Snow Fox (fried pieces of squid), Battle of Bosnia (cabbage and black mushrooms), Running My Fingers through Your Hair (pig trotters stewed with seaweed), and Small City, Unique Talent (a mixed salad). Mengliu said that the mix of hot and cold in this menu, eroticism and war, was not a bad combination. Darae thought that eating was an art, requiring a certain level of genius when it concerned the appetite of a pregnant woman. Mengliu was shocked to hear Darae’s view of Rania’s pregnancy. He said that depriving a young girl of her vitality and making her conceive was inhumane and, to put it more seriously, was almost equivalent to raping her. He had been naive not to have anticipated this sort of thing. He asked if there was a girl Darae fancied. Darae remained completely silent for a long while before he finally said no.

It was hard to say what brought about the miracle. Morning sickness didn’t interfere with Rania’s appetite anymore, and she was able to suppress the vomiting with the strength of her willpower. Her skin regained its colour and her body returned to its plump state. She was praised as the pacesetter for pregnant women, and invited to travel around giving lectures about her experience in controlling morning sickness, turning the lectures finally into a bestselling book. Her message was, ‘Will determines everything.’ Nailed to Mengliu’s lintel was a golden sign emblazoned with the words Home of a Spiritual Pacesetter . He felt like he was a fake Christ being nailed to a cross, full of unease. He could not break through the shell of Rania’s spirit. She focussed all of her attention on her budding career and her abdomen. Her skin glowed, once again white and lustrous as porcelain.

But during this time, something wasn’t right with Rania. Her temperament was eccentric, flaring up from some unknown source, making Mengliu irritable in his turn. He read that pregnancy could affect the sexual functions of a woman, but Rania’s actions were also very odd. This Lin Daiyu would break plates in her anger, which was swift and fierce. Sometimes she seemed completely out of control, suppressing her vomiting one minute, weeping the next, making a mess of her whole face. He didn’t know whether to stop her, or simply let her vent her unhappiness. He didn’t understand women at all, especially not pregnant women. He felt like he was watching someone else’s wife, wondering what sort of husband she must have to make her so unhappy, thinking he must be a real piece of shit. He also wondered whether the woman had a mother or father, siblings or friends. The government sent servants to care for her, but could they really make her happy? Could they meet all her needs?

Mengliu’s expression, at once innocent and stupid, further intensified Rania’s emotions. She scolded him, this stranger who had come to ruin her life. When the government had been unable to find her a genetic match for a parenting partner, she had been quite happy, since it left her free to participate each day in intellectual debates. Not to say she was all that good at it, but she had developed something of a reputation. She didn’t want to marry and have children, she just wanted to pursue knowledge in order to sharpen her tongue in the debates. She could be subtle and underhanded. The government arranged for her to marry someone she liked, but she found out that he was another woman’s man, and hypocritical to boot. In the end, she thought that Mengliu must be her lucky star. But since he had appeared she’d gotten herself into all kinds of trouble. He was the one who had turned her into a fertility machine.

As her accusations against Mengliu grew more fierce, he grew happier. He preferred her like this. It meant they could really talk.

‘You wrong me when you blame me for turning you into a fertility machine. That is your beloved government’s doing. I was abducted by Swan Valley and have also become a reproductive machine. Maybe you don’t believe me, but the people of Swan Valley are nothing more than data, a bunch of guinea pigs.’ Mengliu took a considerate attitude toward Rania, hoping to catch her at a sober moment. ‘In fact, I’d love to go back to Dayang. If you could help me, I will remember you forever. As for the child…it’s also not what you and I want, and moreover it will be raised by the government. Anyway, you and Su Juli, you Swanese women do not need men. Rania, let me say it again, I was kidnapped and brought here. I will leave Swan Valley sooner or later, and whether or not you choose to believe that is up to you. I simply don’t care about this damned official post, I would rather go back and be locked up in prison than stay here —’ As he said this, Mengliu suddenly stopped, wondering if it was really necessary for him to go back and sit in jail.

Rania flushed. ‘You…are the most sordid man I’ve ever met.’

Mengliu responded cheekily, ‘Since this is how you feel about your husband, you should apply for a divorce. I will certainly cooperate. I’ll present you with all the support you need. Does that sound all right?’ He was mostly sincere in saying this, as he had no desire to quarrel. Rania did not understand. She said he was narrow-minded, making concessions out of condescension toward a pregnant woman. She called him a villain, and said he would never understand the breadth and height of the spirit of Swan Valley. Then she resumed her gentle obliging state, using polite speech to shame Mengliu. He was at pains to smile bitterly as he responded. ‘Tea cleanses the mind and calms the soul. I’ll brew a fresh pot of tea.’