Gary Amdahl - The Daredevils

“What are you talking about? I didn’t look at you! What, are you crazy? ‘Don’t fucking look at me’—what the fuck are you talking about? I’ll fucking look at you however and whenever I feel like looking at you! And you know what else, you stupid fuck? THERE AIN’T ANY STREETCAR STRIKE!”

“Fuck you,” said Vera, intervening. “Wise up.” She stepped back, smiled broadly, and shook her head in exaggerated swings. “ Fuck you. You are an idiot. We will take care of this ourselves. Fuck you and good-bye .” She too had committed to a role. It took Charles completely by surprise but as a dedicated improvisateur, he was thrilled.

“Fuck you too! What’s your fucking name anyway?”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said fuck you .”

“Fuck You? I thought so! Well, so long, Fuck You! Good luck, Fuck You!”

The man continued his loud calls of farewell even though he was walking right next to Charles and Vera, matching pace and length of step like a clown. At the steps of the sheriff’s office, he stopped and slapped his head. “Oh wait, I get it. I get it, you’re fucking her .” He looked at Charles. He looked at Vera. “Both of you maybe?” The man looked again at Charles, who maintained his newfound unpredictability by knocking him flat.

The other man went him one better, however, by leaping to his feet and disappearing inside the sheriff’s office. Charles waited a moment, looking with plaintive exasperation at Vera, then followed him in. At the desk, he shouldered aside the man he’d knocked down, clearly having a physical advantage now, and asked the deputy if he knew who Mr. Winter was.

The man sputtered and the deputy nodded.

“That’s good,” said Charles, “how about Mr. Minot and Mr. Roosevelt?”

The deputy again nodded, now appearing somewhat nervous, as if he in fact did not know.

Charles asked if Daisy Gluek was in a cell close enough to overhear a telephone conversation, and the deputy shook his head uncertainly. Charles then asked to use the phone. The candlestick was pushed across the desk, the deputy now seeming perhaps half-witted. Charles had a long list of emergency numbers, at each of which he learned that nobody of consequence was available. Finally he tried Winter’s White Bear Lake residence, where he spoke to the secretary or butler or spy and explained the situation to him.

The secretary or butler or spy said, “There is no streetcar strike. I am told you should talk to Commissioner McGee if you are concerned.”

“You’re right, there’s no streetcar strike right now ,” Charles said patiently, but looking up to see the other man, who had finally recovered a sense of himself, feigning a chuckle and waggling his eyebrows at the deputy, who returned this merriment blankly, “but, you see, there will be. And it will be a more interesting strike than any you’ve seen yet. Pickets, speeches, the wearing of blue buttons and yellow buttons and the spitting upon of nickels? Forget about it! The Wobblies know we’re coming down on them and they want to go out, listen to me, this is what I’m out here in the middle of fucking nowhere doing, they want to go out literally with a bang, do you follow? I’m telling you I am actually learning something important out here, I’m not just winding up feebleminded vigilantes and watching them strut here and there until their fucking keys run down .”

“There is nothing,” the secretary or butler or spy said some two hundred miles to the southeast, “to be done right now. Your position, Mr. Minot, is that Gluek should be allowed to continue her tour? In the hope that.?”

“That’s right,” Charles said as if to a child, “yes, and can you tell me please why, if you wanted her arrested, nobody told me? Told us?”

“I can’t answer that.”

“Well, okay, but that’s the kind of thing that really, you know, mitigates a guy’s effectiveness.”

“I think you mean ‘vitiates.’”

“Sorry, can’t hear you, Mr. Vi-shitty-ates.”

“I’m sure there’s a good reason for it.”

“Like what, for instance, for Christ’s sake.”

“I’m sure there’s a good reason for it.”

“I’d like to hear it when you know what it is!”

The secretary or butler or spy changed the tone of his voice. “Whole thing sounds fishy, Minot. Are you fucking this Gluek or something?”

The sun was out but the wind was cold. Shadows of clouds shot across the land like high-speed whales. The smell of cattle and cattle shit came flying across the town as well, straight at the hotel. Charles came out onto the wide porch and immediately made a face, though there was no one near to appreciate it. He was in his shirtsleeves and the wind felt as if it were coming directly from the North Pole. He took another lungful of the pungent icy air and went back inside. Vera sat in an armchair with her head in her hands. When she heard Charles approach, she raised her head, but kept her hands on her face, so that only her eyes were visible: and they were red. She was not going to pieces, but had become very irritable. Charles sat in another chair, put his hands in his lap, and a look of chagrin on his face that seemed slightly lopsided, one eye larger than the other, lips compressed to a single pale red line that angled down from the larger-eyed side of his face.

“Will you do me a favor?” Jules asked me from behind his hands.

“Yes.”

“Get me the fuck out of here.”

“A two-bit spring, for sure.”

She looked terribly tired, so tired and irritable that Charles could not help but feel uncomfortably superior to her. And yet it was quite true he was overexcited, out of control — still falling from the edge of the cliff. He was certain that his improvised deceptions, which he now saw as infantile, had run their course, were no longer necessary or useful. He was one step away from condemning himself wholly for what he was afraid was merely frivolous trifling with forces that were properly the domain of pure, ruthless, power-mad fools. Perhaps this was what had finally convinced Father further life was a ridiculous proposition. It could not have been the melodramatic seeing of the light that Al had apparently witnessed, the falling of the wool from Father’s eyes after a series of soul-searching conversations while logs crackled in the fireplace. Either Father had been a pure, ruthless, power-mad fool whose will had weakened unexpectedly, possibly because he spent so much energy maintaining a disguise as well as simple physical vigor, or he had indeed been “the good man” he had appeared to be all along, and could no longer tolerate what must, therefore, have been a life of tremendous defeat.

There is an evil, he daydreamed, in our land, growing day by day, that will soon be as great an evil as the one over there, in the land of the other people, that we will fight.

Perhaps greater. Over there: decay and aggression, falling and rising lines on a graph matching each other perfectly in their descent and ascent off the chart. Here: infantile greed and tyranny dressed up as the Straight Talkers of Main Street.

Charles sat back in his chair. He flexed his fingers around the arms of the chair and his gaze softened. “I admire what we have done,” he said to Vera. His tone was rather flat and seemed to be undercutting what he was saying, but he went on. “It was bold and thrilling. I say to you, we are the greatest of lovers. Our minds and hearts are one in these Deeds of Propaganda in the Cause of Nothing.”

“We are not acting in the Cause of Nothing.”

“You can see it however you want to.”

“The cause is ‘Life As It Is.’”

“Could not have said it better myself!”