Jia Pingwa - Ruined City

When Zhou Min came home from work, she wouldn’t let him go play his xun at the city wall. Instead she told him to play it under the pear tree, saying she was had no objection to his playing; in fact, she liked it. He looked at her quizzically. “I told you it had a pleasant tone, but you said you didn’t like it. Well, now you finally appreciate its sound.” He began to play. He winked and raised his brows to please her. Leaning against the door and listening, she had a hunch that she should go to the bridge outside the south city gate, where she would find a certain tree. She believed in her presentiment, because Meng Yunfang had once read her palm and told her that she had the hand of someone with strong premonitions. Now she was seized by a thought: with her routes to him cut off, she would have to wait for him under that tree if she wanted to see him again. So she went in, applied some makeup, changed clothes, and put on the pair of heels.

“Are you going out?” Zhou Min asked. “Where to?”

“I’m going to buy some sanitary napkins. I’m having my you-know-what.” Saying it actually made it happen, and she had to put some paper in her panties before hurrying out.

“It’s late. I’ll go with you.”

“Are there wolves and leopards in the city? Why would you need to come with me? You stay home and write that book.” She walked down streets bustling with traffic and pedestrians. When she reached the stone bridge, there was no sign of Zhuang, not even after she waited until midnight. It was so late that the area was deserted, except for her, who had only menstrual blood to show for the wait. Her hands were stained with blood when she changed the napkin, which gave her the idea to smear them with blood and leave her handprints on the railing, the tree, and a rock on the tree. The last one came out clearly enough to show the handprint lines. Meng had also told her that a handprint was the map of life. Zhuang Zhidie, if you show up here, you will be able to recognize this map of my life; I’ve waited for you here .

For several days in a row she waited by the tree, but she never saw him. She thought he must be unable to leave the house and no longer had control of his actions. So when he finally sent a message through the medicine box, she had a good cry and vowed to herself: I must see him, even if it’s for the last time in my life .

. . .

Liu Yue was set to be married on September twelfth. On the day before, she and Niu Yueqing prepared food and drinks for the people who would come get her. Saying that the expense was too much for them, Dazheng’s mother wanted to send food over, but Niu Yueqing wouldn’t hear of it. Liu Yue was not her own daughter, nor her sister, but she had gained a great deal of face when the mayor’s family said that they considered her and Zhuang to be their in-laws and then sent the dowry to their house, giving invited guests the impression that it was from her and Zhuang. Naturally, she would offer the best Maotai to accompany dishes with chicken, duck, fish, and pork. After everything was ready, she told Liu Yue to bathe, while she dragged her aching feet to the mayor’s house. Still worried about the actual details of the ceremony, she wanted to double-check everything with Dazheng’s mother. After Niu Yueqing left, Liu Yue went into the bathroom to draw a bath. When Zhuang heard the running water from the living room, a myriad of thoughts welled up inside and sent him silently into his study to chain-smoke.

Suddenly the door to his study was pushed open, and in walked Liu Yue, draped in a bright red bathrobe, her damp hair gathered in the back in a white kerchief, her freshly washed face smooth with a red glow. But she had painted her brows, applied eye shadow, and put a thick layer of crimson red lipstick on her lips, which looked as full and round as an apricot. She’s incredibly pretty , Zhuang said to himself, particularly after a hot bath on the night before she’s to become a bride . He smiled before lowering his head to smoke. He took a long drag on his cigarette, making the red glow of the tip move swiftly downward, though the long ash hung on.

“Are you feeling down again, Zhuang Laoshi?” she asked.

He didn’t reply. It would have been pointless to say he was.

“I’m leaving tomorrow. Aren’t you going to wish me happiness one more time?”

“I wish you nothing but happiness.”

“Do you really think I’ll be happy?”

“Yes, I do. You’ll be happy.” He nodded, eliciting a sarcastic laugh from the girl.

“Thank you very much, Zhuang Laoshi. You’re the one who gave me happiness.”

He looked up at her in surprise and saw that her eyes were fixed on him. With a sigh, he lowered his head again.

“My stay here hasn’t been long, but it hasn’t been short, either. I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve read many books, I’ve experienced many things, and I’ve had my fair share of the heavy cigarette smoke in this room. I’m leaving, but I really don’t want to go. Can I just sit here for a while and look at the sculpture of the Tang maiden you’ve said resembles me?”

“You’re not leaving until tomorrow, so this is still your home tonight. Sit down. I’ll give you the sculpture tomorrow.”

“Does that mean you’ll never again want me to be here with you?”

The question stopped him. “That’s not what I meant, Liu Yue. That was not what I wanted to give you, anyway. I want to give you something else.”

“What is it? Can I see it now?”

He took a lovely box out of his drawer and handed it to her. She opened it to see an ancient bronze mirror with inlaid flowers, decorated with a raised ridge encircled by an inscription: Exacting design and superb crafting, sparkling quality with fine craftsmanship, like a pearl in the morning sky or the moon at night. Use this to paint your brows, look into it to rouge your face, as you embroider at the window, all this is reflected within it .

“What a wonderful mirror!” she cried out. “Can you really bear to part with it?”

“I’m giving it to you because I can’t bear to part with it.”

“Tang Wan’er has one like this. It’s about the same size, with a similar design, except for the inscription. I asked her where she got it. She said she just had it. I didn’t think I’d ever have one, too.”

“That one was also from me.”

She paused. “You gave her that one? Since they’re from you, they must be a pair. So why are you giving this one to me?”

“I can never see her again. So any time I looked at this mirror, I couldn’t help thinking about the one — let’s not talk about her, Liu Yue.”

“I know you hate me, Zhuang Laoshi.” She hiked up her robe and sat down on a leather chair in front of the sofa. “You hate me because of Tang Wan’er. I admit I told Dajie everything, but it was partly because she beat me so savagely and partly because she was the one who found the message on the pigeon. She was suspicious when she read the note, and everything would have been fine if I’d kept quiet no matter how hard she hit me. But I didn’t. I told her a lot of things. Now I want to explain to you why I did that. I was jealous of Wan’er. I was jealous because, like me, she had no city residency and had run away with Zhou Min, worse than anything I’d done, yet she’d managed to win your heart. I’ve been at your side all along, and yet—”

“Stop it, Liu Yue. She didn’t win my heart. I was the one at fault. Don’t you think I ruined her? Everything is over now.”

“If that’s what you think, then haven’t you also ruined me? You’re marrying me off to the mayor’s son. Do you really think I can love him? I will have to close my eyes to marry him. It was you who changed Tang Wan’er and me into real women and gave us the courage and confidence to start a new life. And in the end, it was you who ruined us. But in the process, you also ruined yourself, your image, and your reputation, along with Dajie and this family.”