Jia Pingwa - Ruined City

Liu Yue suddenly looked embarrassed, which prompted Niu Yueqing to glare at Tang, who turned her back on them, smiled, and said, “When she gets married, the photos will be on magazine covers. Schools have their campus beauties, so do colleges; Liu Yue would beat them all if Xijing were to hold a beauty pageant.”

“As for beauty queens,” Liu Yue said, “that would be Wan’er, the queen of Tongguan County.”

“Me? I’m not pretty enough to go in through the front door,” Tang said. Zhuang gave her the high sign and changed the subject, telling the girl how to behave and what to look for when she met the son. If she liked him, they would choose a date for the engagement party. But she and Dazheng would have to decide on a date for the wedding themselves. That done, he told Liu Yue they ought to get going. Tang went out with them, as she had to go home. Niu Yueqing walked them to the door, where she told the girl to act with modesty and grace. “Treat this place like your parents’ house, and don’t let Dazheng look down on us, whether it works out or not.”

“That’s enough, Zhuang said. “She’s better at this than you.”

After they emerged from the compound, Tang insisted on walking Liu Yue all the way to City Hall. Zhuang told Liu Yue he would pick her up in two hours, to which she responded with a wave before walking off.

“Liu Yue is meeting her future love,” Zhuang said to Wan’er, “so why don’t we have a little tryst of our own? Have you ever been to the woods outside Hanyuan Gate? When it gets dark, the area is swarming with couples. When I was younger, I didn’t have an opportunity to enjoy outdoor romance, but now I can make up for it, even though I’m not young anymore.”

“That sounds wonderful! What a great idea. You’re younger than them all. You know who makes you young, don’t you?”

The large wooded area outside the gate had already filled with young couples. They all tried to keep their distance from other couples as they happily whispered, cuddled, and fooled around. Zhuang and Tang walked on, feeling uncomfortable, as they couldn’t find a secluded spot, and they looked whenever they passed a couple.

“Where are you going? We’re too old, this place isn’t for us anymore,” she said as she guided him to a rock under a lilac tree, where she wrapped her arms around his neck. “The lilac smells wonderful,” Zhuang said as he looked around. She turned his head to face her, and they were soon in each other’s arms. Quickly getting into the mood, he sat her on his lap, took off her heels, hung them on a branch, and took her as if she were a cat or a dog.

“People are staring,” she said.

“I don’t care.”

“How bold you’ve gotten!”

“Now I know why so many couples come here and why they’re so uninhibited. A wooded area on such a beautiful night is the perfect time and place for romance. That’s why everyone turns mute and deaf.”

“What do you think Liu Yue and the disabled guy are doing now?”

“What do you think?”

“They might be having sex, too. But with polio, is that thing of his also disabled? That would be terrific. After she married him, she’d be eating ginseng and birds’ nests during the day, but crying like a dripping candle at night.”

“Don’t jinx her. She’s been nice to you.”

“Are you feeling bad for her? Didn’t I say she’s a white tiger? Now you see? Zhao Jingwu suffers, while the mayor’s son, who was destined to marry her, was stricken with polio.”

Zhuang would not let her continue, so she lost her temper.

“You always take her side,” she said. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re taken by her good looks, but you know you can only keep one woman. You don’t want anyone else to have her, so you’re giving her to a disabled man, and still you feel bad about losing her.”

The reprove stirred up a myriad of emotions in Zhuang, so he tried to stop her, but the more he tried, the more she insisted on talking about Liu Yue. He spread his arms and dumped her on the grass. “All right, all right. I won’t talk about her.”

But she kept at it: “I treasure that dress so much, I’ve seldom worn it. Now that she’s put it on, you will mistake me for her if I wear it after she’s left.”

“What you need is for me to buy you some new clothes. Let her have that one, since it fits her so well, and I’ll buy you some new outfits.”

“Don’t even think about it. I can’t part with that dress, because you bought it for me. I went to the mall on North Avenue yesterday and saw a stylish leather coat. You can buy that for me when winter comes.”

“Consider it done, as long as it looks good on you. Jingwu went to Guangzhou to sell some calligraphy, and before he left, I asked him to buy you a gold necklace. I think he’ll buy some clothes for Liu Yue, too. When he comes back and finds out about her, he will have no more use for the clothes, and I’ll take them off his hands. Has Zhou Min sensed anything?”

“He just thinks you’re good to me, and hasn’t said anything. Besides, he has no proof. But I’m afraid he’ll find out sooner or later. You have no idea how often I dream about you, and I’m worried that one of these days I’ll call out your name in my sleep. You can’t run away from me when that happens.”

“I won’t, but you have to understand the difficult position I’m in. You’ll just have to wait for me, no matter what.”

“Why did I mention that again? You’re upset with me, aren’t you?”

He shook his head. “Control yourself when you’re at home so he won’t notice.”

“It might be better if he did. The sooner he knows, the sooner we’ll break up.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“My mind is a mess and my heart is in agony, Wan’er. Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted to marry you, but it’s not that simple. I’m not young anymore, and I’m not a nobody. I don’t want you to break up with Zhou Min, because I can’t get a divorce any time soon. You will have to give me time so I can conquer my surroundings and conquer myself. With Zhou Min around, he can take care of you, though it pains me to see that; you and I should have been together already, but we each must continue to live with someone else.”

“It’s worse for me. I’m a woman, and when he wants sex, I reject him nine times out of ten. I have to do what he wants every once in a while. It’s like I’m made of wood, with no desire or passion; all I want is for him to finish as quickly as possible. You can’t understand my suffering. We must work hard until the day comes. If we can’t be together, then neither of us will be at peace.”

He put his arms around her and they fell silent, while their bodies shook so violently that the lilac tree rustled noisily, drawing the attention of a couple nearby. Finally they parted. “Let’s go back.” They stood up, both ruing their decision to come. “Let’s talk about something cheerful,” she said. “Yes,” he said, but neither could come up with an uplifting topic.

Two and half hours had passed by the time they got back to City Hall, but Liu Yue was not outside waiting for them. “Could she have come out and left when she didn’t see us?” Tang asked. “We’ll wait awhile,” Zhuang said. They waited another hour, until they were tired from walking, then went across the street to sit on the steps outside a store, where they fixed their gaze on the City Hall entrance. Another half-hour went by before they saw her emerge into the illuminated area near the entrance. Zhuang was about to call out to her when Tang stopped him. “Don’t. Let me watch her body language, and we’ll know if everything is all set.”

Liu walked out and stopped; a car drove up. The driver got out and walked around to open the door for her. She got in, and the car took off noisily down Laishun Avenue. “It’s only just started, and she’s already acting like the mayor’s daughter-in-law,” Tang said. “You agreed to meet her here, yet she rode off in that car without even looking around.”