Jia Pingwa - Ruined City

“Do you think I’d tell people and make them feel sorry for you?”

“I can do better. It’s just that I was too excited and too nervous, because this is Zhuang Laoshi’s house. I’ll show you what I can do once we’re married. Don’t talk about me too much around here. Zhuang Laoshi is the observant type. If you say too much and something slips out, he may sense we’ve had sex, and he’d look at me differently.”

“Ai-ya! Why are you so afraid of him? He’s human too, you know. Do you think he doesn’t do this?”

Sensing something hidden in her reply, Zhao pressed her: “What does he do?”

Zhao was astounded when Liu Yue told him about Zhuang and Tang, but he warned her not to tell anyone else. “Zhuang Laoshi has a fine reputation and plenty of credibility, and his disciples and friends all need his help. If people knew that, it could ruin his reputation, and we’d all be done for. As his disciples, we must help promote his good standing in society and be aware of the impact of his authority.”

Liu nodded in agreement but added, “I’ve given you everything, including my body, and something has to come out of this. I’ll go to your place if it’s inconvenient here.”

“I didn’t believe it when Meng Laoshi said that the more women do this, the more daring they get.” He winked to embarrass her.

“Why should I be shy after what we did today? Besides, I’ll be yours one of these days, won’t I?”

“My place is even worse. Let’s see. I’ll get a key to the House of Imperfection Seekers from Zhuang Laoshi tomorrow, and we’ll have our fun there.”

“What’s the House of Imperfection Seekers? I’ve never heard of it.”

Liu oohed and aahed when Zhao told her about the place. “Sounds like a wonderful place. I always wondered why Zhou Min was never home when Zhuang Laoshi went to see Tang Wan’er after she sent the pigeon with a message. So they had a secret place for their trysts.”

The next day Zhao asked Zhuang for the key, making up a story about a friend who needed a place to spend a night. Zhao then secretly made a copy and sneaked over there with Liu Yue.

One day Niu Yueqing came home for lunch at noon, but no one was home. She waited awhile until Liu Yue came up the stairs humming a tune. “Where have you been? There’s not even a shadow in the house,” Niu Yueqing grumbled when Liu opened the door. The girl had run into Zhao on the street, and they had talked until long past the time she was supposed to be home to make lunch, so she had bought some steamed buns. “I went out to buy buns to go with a chicken soup I’m making.”

“How convenient to buy buns. What have you been doing all morning?”

“I’ve been home.”

“Rubbish. I called and no one answered,” Niu Yueqing fumed as she sat down. “Where’s your Zhuang Laoshi?”

“How should I know?”

“No time for food. I need to talk to him about an urgent matter. Call Meng Laoshi’s house to see if he’s there.” Liu called, but Zhuang wasn’t there. Niu Yueqing then called the magazine office, her mother’s place, Wang Ximian, Ruan Zhifei, the newspaper offices, and every other place he frequented. There was no sign of him.

“Could he be at Zhou Min’s house?” Liu Yue offered when she saw how anxious Niu Yueqing was.

Niu Yueqing got on her bike and rode over to Zhou’s place. Zhou, who had just returned from delivering mock-up copy to the printer, was cooking instant noodles. When he told her Zhuang hadn’t been there, she asked about Tang. Zhou said he hadn’t seen her when he got home, adding that she might have gone window-shopping, her favorite activity. Niu Yueqing turned and rode home, venting her frustration from hunger and anger at Liu Yue, who said, “How would I know where he is? You’ve been to every place he could possibly be, except for the House of Imperfection Seekers.” She regretted it the moment she said it.

“Where is this place?”

“I seem to recall Zhuang Laoshi mentioning it once, but I don’t know if it’s an office or someone’s house. I’ll go check it out.”

“I’ll go myself. This is an urgent matter that can’t be delayed even a moment. Just tell me where it is.”

She had no choice but to give her the address. Niu Yueqing got back on her bike and rode out.

On this day, Zhuang happened to be spending the noon hour with Tang at the House of Imperfection Seekers. She had more or less recovered but was still spotting, and they had agreed to meet there, as he wanted to hear details of the abortion, which brought hot tears to his face when she was finished. She wanted him to swear that he loved her. He did, adding that he wanted to marry her. She asked when that would happen. Someday in the future? Three years? Five years, eight or ten years? Everyone would think that Zhuang Zhidie had married a rare beauty who turned out to be an old hag, she said. Caught in a difficult state, he sighed in agony, while she smiled and, calling him a poor man, tickled his armpit to make him laugh. Seeing the frown on his face, she said, “Don’t be like that. It hurts me to see you suffer. I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes. Even if you stop loving me, at least you will have loved me once. With your disposition, you’d eventually look for someone better than me even if the heavens helped us become husband and wife. When that happened, I wouldn’t hate you, nor would I stop you.”

“What would that make me then? Nothing you say or do can make me lose interest in you or allow me to be with anyone else.”

She laughed, saying she sometimes felt guilty about his wife, but then she was convinced that he should be hers. She told him she wasn’t sure if she was a good woman or a bad one, but she knew she was a woman. If he stopped loving her, she would become a loose woman and sleep with any man, including a madman, an idiot, even bandits and thieves. Taken by surprise, Zhuang responded with a stern face, “Stop the nonsense. Don’t say things like that.”

She started to cry, saying she would never say those things again, and asked if he was angry with her. He spanked her, saying he was upset.

“Women’s minds are confusing.”

She put her arms around him and kissed him, and before long they were fused together. ☐☐ ☐☐ ☐☐ [The author has deleted 38 words.] Afterward, they looked down; the red spot on the pillow under her body brought instantaneous remorse. The doctor had told her not to have sexual intercourse for a month. When Zhuang asked her how she felt, she said she was fine, but the pillow was soiled. She took out a red pen and turned the spot into a maple leaf. He laughed.

“That’s great! The frosted leaf is redder than flowers in February. Later, when we go down for lunch, we’ll buy a needle and thread for you to embroider the spot. No one could tell and might even comment on how a bed pillow can be turned into art.”

It was past lunchtime by the time they had spent more pleasurable moments in each other’s arms, so they got up to go out for something to eat. They met Niu Yueqing at the bottom of the stairs, which sent them into such a fright they turned pale.

“Wan’er, look who’s here,” Zhuang said to a panicky Tang.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, including into the rats’ nests. So here you are. You don’t look well, Wan’er.”

“She has every right not to. She asked me to find her a temporary job, so I thought I’d go see Mr. Yang, a section head at the Sanitation Board. When I took her there, he acted all high and mighty and had no interest in talking to us. We left. How dare he treat me like that!”

“How much can you earn with a temp job? Why don’t you just stay home and let Zhou Min write more essays? These days it’s easier to see the King of Hell than to deal with underlings. You should go straight to the head of the board.”