Tie Ning - The Bathing Women

He stopped and turned to look at her. He said, “Who are you?”

“Me? I’m a student at the high school.” Fei raised her chin toward the school and got closer to Master Qi.

He looked her up and down. “How do you know my name is Qi?”

“I guessed,” she said.

“Guessed? What can I do for you?” he asked, still carefully studying the girl in front of him. Clearly, he didn’t know what she wanted from him, but he had changed his tone from surprise to calm.

Fei finally gathered herself enough to say, “Well, it’s like this — I have to confess my error to you. You came to the bicycle repair shop to replace your air valves, right? You must have been very unhappy to find your bike tyres had been deflated at our school. I wanted to tell you that I was the one who deflated your tyres, and that the person who took your valves was also me.”

“Can you tell me why you did this?” Master Qi asked. He had started to walk with his bicycle, slowly, not trying to get rid of Fei, just not wanting to stay anywhere in the vicinity of the school for too long.

Fei kept up with Master Qi’s pace. She said, “I wanted to get to meet you and I thought, if I pulled out your air valves, you would have to come here, where I planned to wait and greet you.”

She said this in a naïve way, and Master Qi couldn’t help smiling. When she opened her fist to show him the two little air valves in her palm, her young, sweaty pink palm, a vague tenderness stirred in him. He didn’t dislike this girl who had pulled out his air valves, but he still didn’t know what she wanted. An ordinary lathe operator who had just got promoted to work in the political department, he had a worker’s temperament, simple and straightforward. He was not used to Fei’s indirect way of talking, the hint of mystery that made people wonder, but this strangeness clearly attracted him. “There must be an important reason behind all this trouble you took.”

“Yes, it’s very important. I want to work in your manufacturing plant.”

Master Qi became quiet, surprised by Fei’s request. He felt he couldn’t help her. He had just discussed things with the principal and the two positions had been pretty much assigned. Besides, their factory didn’t want to hire women this time. Uncertain of what to say, he kept silent.

By then, though hardly noticing, they had reached the riverbank. It was dusk in early winter. The wind from the river was very harsh and there was no one around. It was not clear that such a quiet and out-of-the-way route had been his unconscious choice or under her conscious direction. She broke the silence. “Actually, I was quite unreasonable to make such a request of you. You don’t even know my name. What right do I have to make such a request?”

“What is your name?”

“My name is Tang Fei.”

“Maybe you’ll have a chance later,” he said.

“Later? How much later?” Fei pressed without giving him a break.

“Maybe next year. Maybe—”

“Next year won’t do. It’ll be too late,” Fei interrupted Master Qi. “As soon as I graduate in spring, I’ll definitely have to go to the countryside.” Now her tone became impatient, as if she were talking to an old acquaintance.

“Fei.” He said her name sharply. “Can’t your family — your parents — help you out?”

It was a blunt but sensible question, and Fei didn’t mind Master Qi asking. Actually, his question provided her the opportunity to open her heart to him, so she said both of her parents, who had been high-ranking journalists for the central government, had lost their lives in an aeroplane crash while on a mission abroad. She had no choice but to come to live with her uncle in Fuan, who was a blind man working as a masseur at a hospital for traditional medicine and couldn’t even take care of himself. Her aunt took out her anger on her, treating her to curses, if not actual beatings, every day. Ai, she, the orphan of the martyrs, couldn’t bear such a life under someone else’s roof, but she had no other relatives in this city, and to whom could she turn? Then she heard about the recruiting and saw Master Qi, whom she felt was her only hope. How she wanted to be able to make Master Qi family. She really wanted to call him “big brother.” Without siblings, orphaned, how she’d hoped to have an older brother. Now it looked like there was no hope for her — she was utterly unwanted in the world, and would rather throw herself into the river and drown than continue living.

Tearfully, she spoke these words into the harsh, chilly northern wind, running down to the riverbank as she spoke. It didn’t seem false when she said those false words and shed those false tears; it was self-mockery, delivered in a weary burst. Running down the slope, she heard him pursue her. He was touched by her words, by her tender, pitiful expression. When he dropped his bicycle, ran down the bank after her, and grabbed her waist from behind, she preferred to believe that he had no other thoughts, that he was intent only on saving a girl’s life. She knew she was securely in his grasp but still pretended to struggle. Naturally, he pulled her more tightly to his chest, so their bodies swayed and they stumbled, holding each other as they fell to the ground on the dark riverbank.

They lay on their sides on the slope. He felt her turn around to face him and burrow into his chest, melting her body into his. Woodenly, not daring to breathe, he held her, unsure how all this had happened. Never had he experienced anything like it, and never had he been less inclined to take advantage of a situation. But why had she pressed herself so tightly into him? He felt the heat of her breath in the dark, and smelled the faintly sour scent. Thinking about her full soft lips, he closed his eyes; he desperately wanted to kiss her, and that was all he wanted. He turned his head searching for her mouth, but she did all she could to avoid his kiss. This made him think that it wouldn’t work, that nothing was going to happen with her. Her melting into him was not seduction but … a subconscious desire for protection. As he considered this, he stopped trying for her lips and calmed down a little. What he ought to do now was pull her to her feet, climb up the bank, and send her home. He let go of her and stood, but she pulled him back down by her, so they rolled together again. Eagerly, almost sobbing, she said to him, “Let me take off my clothes for you. I’ll take them off now, now …”

Blood rushed to his head, and his body felt uncomfortable because of the pressure. The behaviour of this teenage high school girl was incomprehensible to him — why she didn’t want his kisses but was willing to … willing to … The vision of her as she stood in front of the bike shop came to him, such a contradiction to what she appeared to be now. Innocence and conspiracy, naïveté and debauchery, seemed to coexist in her. He really couldn’t think anymore, or control the overwhelming desire she had forced on him, and he didn’t want to lose this opportunity that seemed to arrive from outer space. He took off his coat and spread it on the slope, and then he picked Fei up and set her on the still-warm coat …

Two weeks later, Master Qi managed to get Fei a recruiting form. During the political background check, her story about her family turned out to be so much hot air. Master Qi didn’t despise her for this, but on the contrary felt more sympathetic towards her. Even though she’d lied to him about some matters, he still felt guilty about her. He often thought if what they had done on the river slope hadn’t happened, his helping her would have been innocent and simple, and therefore beautiful. Unfortunately, he hadn’t controlled himself. It wasn’t something that he regretted; he just felt a little sad when he thought about it. He did his best to help her, getting her, a girl with virtually no hope of staying in the city, a job at the famous state-run factory as a foundry worker. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a good job. His influence could only reach so far, and Fei was assigned to the dirtiest, most tiring workshop in the factory.