Lynda Plante - The Talisman

His big arm swept her to his side, and he held her tight. ‘Oh, you’re cold... Daddy’ll give you a hot potato, turn around, that’s a girl.’

Jinks lay in the curve of his big body as he breathed on her back, warming her. After a while he stopped, and she turned to face him. In the darkness she could see that he was crying.

‘Do you want a tissue, Daddy?’

‘No, no... sometimes it’s best to cry... and you and me have a lot to cry about. Mummy’s gone away, and — well, I doubt if she’ll be coming back. Not because she doesn’t want to, but because Mummy is sick. I’ll try to explain it so that you’ll understand. She doesn’t have an illness, like a cold or a pain in her tummy, it’s in her head...’

Jinks listened in the dark to his soft voice, and began to wriggle away from him, fraction by fraction. He was talking about a stranger, not her mother. His voice, always low, was little more than a whisper.

‘I don’t want to hear any more. Goodnight, Daddy.’

He looked down at her funny, crinkly hair, the red mark on her nose from the glasses, her eyes firmly shut. ‘Goodnight.’

When she opened her eyes, the room was full of strange shadows. She didn’t cry, she just moved further away from her father, wanting the coolness of the sheet against her. His body, his warmth, suffocated her.

Evelyn had fallen asleep in the car, and Alex carried him indoors and put him to bed. He turned in his sleep, and Alex could see his long eyelashes, so thick and dark, as dark as his silky black hair — just like Edward’s.

Barbara didn’t arrive home until after midnight. She was dressed in a long, floating chiffon gown, and she lounged against his study door. ‘Darling, you really should try to come to more of these do’s. Your grandchildren are growing up, they look so sweet in their little suits... Annabelle’s girls are getting to be quite pretty. Selina looked frightful, but then she always does — on the other hand, Annabelle is blossoming. You know she’s opened her own boutique in Beauchamp Place? She loves being Lady Blackwell. Mind you, that’s about all he has to give her, he really is such a weak man. Oh, I need some money for his campaign, you know he is up for the by-election, and... darling? Are you listening to me?’

Alex poured his wife a brandy and held it out, letting her chatter on about her grandchildren, her daughters, until she flopped down in a chair and kicked off her gold sandals. ‘The Duke and Duchess of Kent were there. Oh, and Princess Grace, she’s so beautiful... You know, her son is almost Lyn’s age — we had lots to talk about... I’m exhausted, I’ve danced my feet off, I don’t suppose you’ve heard anything about the Honours List, have you? I mean, I keep plugging away, hinting to everyone I know. Rumour has it, and I’m sure it’s true, that...’

‘I heard a rumour tonight.’

Barbara smiled. ‘Really? Well, tell me, are you on the New Year’s List?’

‘I was at Edward’s, went to bring Evelyn home...’

Barbara sipped her brandy and yawned... then gasped as the glass was knocked out of her hand. Alex leaned over her, his hands resting on each arm of her chair. ‘I want the truth, Barbara, no lies... just the truth... Evelyn is Edward’s, isn’t he...? Isn’t he?’

He was too calm, too cool, and Barbara was scared of him. ‘Don’t be silly, darling, you’re frightening me.’

‘Then tell me the truth... whose child is he? He’s his, you only have to see them side by side to know it... Well? Tell me! He’s Edward’s, isn’t he?’

Barbara was trapped in her chair. He loomed over her, wouldn’t let her squirm her way out of it. She began to cry, and he finally moved away. She didn’t have to say it.

‘Jesus God, it’s true... it’s true.’

Barbara couldn’t stop crying, although she still did not admit it, but the more she cried the more he knew it was true. He stood with his back to her. ‘Why? Just tell me why?’

Barbara’s mind was racing, trying desperately to think of something, anything, to say to him. She rose from her chair and went to touch him, but he moved away so fast that she froze.

‘Why, tell me why? Jesus, you could have had it aborted, anything... Why?’ At last he turned to her, and she started to cry again. This time he hit her so hard across the face that she fell against the desk. Alex picked her up by her hair and threw her back into the chair. ‘How long have you two been together? Is it still going on?’

Barbara touched her lip, tasted blood in her mouth. ‘No... it was over before he was born. I... I went to him, went to him for you, I didn’t want anything to go wrong, you tried, you tried to make him sell the club, get rid of it... well, I tried.’

Alex looked at her with loathing. ‘So you went to bed with him? Who the hell do you think you’re kidding? You say you went to bed with my brother because of me? You did it for me? You’ve never done anything that wasn’t for yourself.’

Barbara faced him, her fists clenched. ‘I am telling you the truth, may God help me... I did it for you. I didn’t love him, I didn’t even want him! All I wanted was for you to be rid of that bloody club. You tried, don’t you remember how you tried...? Alex? Alex...?’

He stared at her coldly, and she cried again. He walked to the door. ‘You sicken me, you’ve made loveless marriages for both your daughters — you’ve done that for me, too, I suppose?’

Barbara snapped back at him through her tears, ‘Yes... yes... and you benefit, so don’t kid yourself you don’t. Just as you use my money as though it were your own, maybe you don’t do anything except for yourself, either, Alex...’

He shuddered, repelled. ‘He’s not to know, understand me? He’s never to know, and he’s not to be allowed near Edward again... I’ll move into the spare room.’ He shut the door quietly behind him.

Barbara ran after him, yanked it open. ‘Is that it? Is that all you have to say? You’re moving into the spare room? You might as well have been there for years, you think this is a marriage? I never see you, and when I do you’re just going out to some business meeting. I see more of the goddamn butler than I do of you!’

‘Fine, maybe you should have an affair with him.’

Barbara went for him, tried to hit him, but he caught her wrist and pushed her away. This time she fell against the stairs.

‘Stay away from me, you disgust me.’

‘I disgust you? I disgust you? Well, fuck you...’

‘That’s it, Barbara, come on, let’s hear what you really are, let’s hear it. Bet all those society friends of yours would love to see you now, crawling up the stairs.’

Hauling herself to her feet, Barbara was in such a rage that she screamed. Alex laughed at her, turned away and walked up the stairs, with Barbara screaming after him.

‘You’ll never get me crawling to you, the only person you can crawl to is Edward... When he says jump, you jump... when he’s drunk you run round there and clean him up like he was your big baby... You are married to him, only you don’t even know it...’

Alex froze, unable to move. He was fighting for control, because he wanted to kill her. All he had to do was turn round and hit her and she would fall backwards down the stairs...

She kept coming close, shouting at him. ‘It’s always been Edward, hasn’t it, you keep on about how much you hate him, you don’t hate him, you love him... he means more to you than I ever did, than ever your son did... Yes, he’s his!’

Alex turned; the sight of his face, like a mask, made her shut her mouth. She pressed herself against the wall, terrified. ‘Don’t touch me, Alex, or I’ll scream, Scargill will see you... Don’t touch me.’