Tomáš Zmeškal - A Love Letter in Cuneiform

“Not really.”

“If I didn’t proceed strictly according to the law and the case were to go to court, his attorney could prove that I violated legal procedure. And as a result the whole case could be dismissed. Do you understand me now, sir? I’m on your side, and so is this office, but we all have to proceed according to the law. Strictly by the law.”

“And what if the law changes again?” asked Mr. Černý. The lieutenant shrugged.

“Then we’ll have to proceed according to that. Strictly by the law in place at the time we do it.” Mr. Černý tilted his head as though he were thinking, but didn’t say anything. The lieutenant observed him in silence, then after a moment said:

“I forgot to mention, sir, that you should feel free to smoke if you want. I don’t mind at all.” Mr. Černý returned his head to an upright position.

“I didn’t realize that you were on my side, as you put it.” The lieutenant nodded. “But if you’re on my side, then why didn’t you do something about it yourselves?”

“We often get that question,” said the lieutenant. “You know, we can’t — we can open a case on our own initiative, but only on the basis of requests brought by a citizen. And now that you’ve lodged a request for the investigation of Mr. Jánský, we can get involved in the case.”

“Involved?”

“Yes, involved,” said the lieutenant. The door opened and a heavyset woman of about forty with bleach-blond hair walked into the room.

“Hello, Lukáš, how’s it going? Oh, hello,” the woman said, turning to Mr. Černý. “How’s it going?” She set her purse and briefcase on the floor and took off her coat. She hung her coat on the coatrack and smoothed out her jacket, picked up her purse and briefcase from the floor, walked to the desk facing the lieutenant’s, and sat down in the chair. She placed her briefcase on the desk, opened it, and pulled out several sheaves of paper, which she placed on the desk. She shut her briefcase, set it on the floor, and started hunting around for something in the drawers of her desk.

“Everything’s going well, Helena. Everything’s just fine,” said the lieutenant.

“That’s not true, sir. Not true at all,” said Mr. Černý. “Nothing is fine!”

“Well now,” said the blonde, giving the lieutenant a look. The lieutenant put on his glasses without bothering to reply.

“Mr. Černý here sent us a three fourteen,” he said.

“A three fourteen, hmm?” said the blonde. “And would that be an A, or a B?”

“Well, I’d say more like a B,” said the lieutenant.

“Hmm, all right, B,” said the blonde.

“What do you mean ‘B,’ and what is that number you said?” Mr. Černý asked.

“Well, if it’s a B, it has to be handled very carefully. You can’t even leave the gentleman alone here in the office …”

“Certainly, I’m well aware, but the situation hasn’t presented itself,” said the lieutenant.

“What situation?” asked Mr. Černý.

“Well, the situation has yet to present itself,” the lieutenant replied.

“And what situation would that be?” asked Mr. Černý.

“If, for instance, the lieutenant here needed to take care of something in the office next door, say, or go to the bathroom, then you would have to leave the office,” said the blonde.

“You think I might steal something?” said Mr. Černý. “You think everyone’s a thief, or what?”

“Sir, there’s no reason to take it so personally …”

“Pardon me, but how else am I supposed to take it?”

“It’s just a regulation to make sure you don’t accidentally look at the file.”

“The file?”

“Yes, the file,” said the blonde.

“But it’s my file,” said Mr. Černý.

“That may be,” said the blonde, “but orders are orders and we’re required by law to respect them.”

“Mr. Černý isn’t pleased that the whole thing has to be initiated all over again,” the lieutenant told the blonde.

“I don’t want to initiate anything. I don’t even know what it is, and I don’t intend to sit here and tell you my life story. When you get to be my age you might understand.”

“We do understand, sir, but the law and the courts aren’t going to.”

“Do you realize how old I am?”

“It makes no difference, sir. The law applies equally to everyone.”

“I already explained to Mr. Černý that we’re on his side.”

“Yes, we are,” said the blonde. “Not only that, but we’re here for your sake!”

“I forgot. Mrs. Nováková here is my director,” said the lieutenant.

The blonde bowed to Mr. Černý. “Major Nováková.”

“Right,” said the lieutenant with a shrug and a raise of the eyebrows.

“There may be an option here,” the blonde said, stepping toward the window. She tested the soil in one of the flowerpots on the sill with her fingers, then folded her arms on her chest.

“You did a beautiful job taking care of my flowers. Really beautiful. I don’t have to worry anymore when I go away on business trips.”

“What option would that be?” asked the lieutenant.

“Well, the gentleman here could write a statement for us.”

“What kind of statement?” asked Mr. Černý.

“Well, instead of us dragging you in here, you could write down for us everything you think is important to the case,” the blonde said, turning from the window to Mr. Černý.

“I’m sorry, but I still don’t understand,” said Mr. Černý.

“Well, we need information from you to use as the basis for initiating an inquiry, and what we have we can’t let you look at, since by law you aren’t allowed to see it. So what we need is something like a biography from you.”

“Biography?” said Mr. Černý.

“Actually, it would be your biography, except at the top we would call it a statement. As far as the contents, though, it would be your biography. Is that it?” the lieutenant asked, fixing his eyes on the blonde.

“Exactly,” said the blonde.

“All right, but what should be in it?” asked Mr. Černý.

“The best would be to put in everything you think might be useful,” said the blonde.

“Yes, that would be best,” said the lieutenant. “We can always cut something out afterwards, or make a summary, but the best would be to have as much as possible.”

“All right then,” said Mr. Černý. “And once I’m done?”

“Once you’re done, give us a call and either you can bring it in or send it to us. We’ll take a look and then let you know where we can take it from there.”

“It’ll take me a while to write.”

“The most important thing is for it to be typed,” said the lieutenant.

“Right, that’s very important,” said the blonde.

“Typed?”

“Yes, typed, so we can copy it afterwards. If we don’t have to transcribe it, it will save us a lot of work.”

Mr. Černý thought a while. “I used to have a typewriter at home. It should be there somewhere still.”

“That’s good,” said the blonde.

“So we’re agreed,” said the lieutenant. “Once you have it written up, give me a call. I’ll read it through and we’ll take it from there.”

Mr. Černý rose from his seat together with the lieutenant, who gave him a brief, energetic handshake. The blonde, still at the window, nodded good-bye.

The old man stepped out into the long narrow hallway and noticed the dust particles floating in the streams of autumn sun, a few of them here and there drifting into the shade, where they became invisible, ceasing to exist. The laws of attraction didn’t seem to apply to them.

Back in the office, the blonde gazed affectionately at her flowers. “I’ll probably have to replant this one next week. And the geraniums are just running wild,” she said.