Mark Haddon - The Red House

A bit better . She pauses, hand on the little metal dog of the newel post. I’m just going to get something to eat .

He wonders briefly if she is waiting to tell him about the encounter with Melissa but she doesn’t and what he feels mostly is relief, that she seems happier, that he has over-reacted, perhaps, that Melissa was lying, that there is nothing for him to do.

♦

A growing conviction that something was wrong, the hackles of the animal curled in the brainstem. Richard came to a halt so he could listen and watch more carefully. A sudden coldness, something about the quality of the light, a sense that other people were no longer simply absent but a very long way away. It was behind him, wasn’t it? He spun round and saw horizontal rain coming out of a vast wall of lead-grey cloud. A sudden fear, then the rain hit him, a hard cold sideways shower, funny almost, once it had happened, thinking about the story he would be telling later on, about how he had been forced to hop through driving rain in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing more than a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Ten minutes later and it was less funny because neither the wind nor the rain were slacking off, he was freezing, the pain in his ankle was, if anything, getting worse and it was going to be some considerable time before he got off the ridge. Childish scenarios began to play on repeat in his head: being rescued by the red helicopter they had seen two days ago, losing consciousness and lying down and night falling. He realised that he had not told anyone where he was intending to run.

♦

Louisa makes a jug of coffee and puts it on the dining-room table, sugar, milk jug, a wonky tower of cups. Richard was meant to be back forty minutes ago and the storm is still raging outside. An air of mild emergency hangs over the house and however much people drift away there is a centre of gravity in the room which draws them back.

He’ll turn up in five minutes , says Melissa, showing off about how manly he is .

I hope he fucking dies , thinks Alex. He wonders whether Richard told Louisa about the bollocking. Maybe he has bollocked her in the same way. Alex tries to catch her eye but she is too distracted by Richard’s absence to notice anyone else.

Angela says, Those paths will be a nightmare in this weather . She means to be reassuring, explaining how he will have to take his time, but it comes out wrong. Louisa’s nervousness is starting to infect her. Too many people lost, the membrane between here and the other place thinned almost to nothing by this unnatural weather, waiting for the foolish and the insufficiently loved to stumble through.

This is totally a record . Benjy has built a domino tower of nine storeys.

Alex wants to be asked to go and look for Richard, but he is not going to offer until he is asked. He wants it publicly acknowledged that he is the expert when it comes to running and walking in these hills. He wants it publicly acknowledged that Richard was pretending to be twenty years old and that he has made a fucking tit of himself in the process.

Daisy comes into the room and Melissa says, languorously, Morning, Daisy , but it is only Daisy who notices the barb.

Hello, love , says Angela. How are you doing this morning?

She is hoping Mum will offer to get her some breakfast so they can go into the kitchen and talk, but Angela seems distracted and there is no way that she is going to ask while Melissa is watching, so she heads to the kitchen where she puts the kettle on then leans on the draining board with her head in her hands.

And, Oh! says Benjy, and, Oh! says everyone else, as if they’re watching a firework display but it’s Benjy’s tower which collapsed next door, sending dominoes clattering all over the table and on to the stone floor.

An hour , says Louisa. A part of her wonders if he has done this to spite her.

Benjy is rebuilding his tower, placing the dominoes horizontally this time for greater stability.

He’s Richard , says Angela. He’ll be fine .

But Richard isn’t always fine, he screws up, she knows this now.

You don’t die by getting caught out in the rain , says Dominic.

That’s not strictly true , says Alex. People do die of exposure in the Brecon Beacons . The room ices over.

Alex , says Dominic wearily, that is not helpful .

He’s meant to say sorry but he’s not in the mood for saying sorry. He stands and takes his coffee cup into the kitchen. Behind his back he hears Angela apologising for her son’s foot in mouth disease.

Daisy is still leaning on the draining board, her boiled kettle cooling. She looks up. Sister Daisy . It’s an old joke, so old he forgets it’s a joke.

Not now, OK?

What’s up?

Nothing .

Tell me . His own anger looms so large that he expects her to be angry with Richard for some as-yet-undisclosed reason, but he can hear a tone in her voice he hasn’t heard for a long time.

She could tell him. He thinks she’s a weirdo, anyway. Then she laughs because it’s what he’s wanted to do since they arrived, isn’t it, kissing Melissa, then she remembers. Get off me, you fucking dyke . That stab of panic, the way you can’t rewind time.

What? says Alex. Is she laughing at him?

Now, before she changes her mind. Look, I’m going to tell you something .

Something what?

She stalls. What does she want him to say? That she is forgiven? That no one else is going to find out? That it never happened?

Alex? Mum is calling from the dining room. Sorry . He turns and walks away and she realises that telling someone will solve nothing.

Alex , says Mum. Do you have any idea where Richard went running?

Up onto the ridge, I guess . He has no real idea but he is assuming that Richard was indeed showing off, running up the steepest hill.

Will you go and look for him?

Suddenly he is paid back in full. No problem . He heads upstairs.

♦

Benjy is twitchy and the dominoes are no longer holding his attention. The same fear as Louisa and his mother, but without her ability to hold it back and chop it down. The possibility of Richard dying out there in all that rain. And God said I will destroy the world . Sword-fighting isn’t an indoors thing so he wanders around trying to lose himself in the details of the house, the smallness of things. He runs his fingers over the raised furry pattern of flowers on the wallpaper in the hallway. He looks inside the meter cupboard and imagines the whole house as a steampunk galleon, stovepipe hats and the chunter of pistons. He opens the leather cover of the visitors’ book. The first entry is dated 1994. Max (8) and Susannah (6). Canterbury. We woak up in the nite and saw some bagers . Blue ink which has blobbed on the Y of Canterbury. The Farmoors, Manchester. The Black Bull in Hay does a very nice Sunday roast . Someone has covered a whole page with a superb pencil sketch of the house. John, Joan, Carmen and Sophie Cain-Summerson, plus Grandma and Grandpa . He sits on the stairs and works out which of the brass stair rods can be rotated and which are too stiff to turn. He goes into the toilet and looks inside the cistern. There is an orange plastic ballcock on the end of a rusty arm. When you push it down more water squirts out of the white spout. It looks like something you might find in a harbour, a tiny buoy among the lobster pots and fishing boats. Dad said the house belonged to a family and maybe they come here in the summer and at Christmas. Benjy doesn’t know anyone who has two houses, though Michael’s family have a mobile home by the sea in Devon. He can’t see the appeal of having two homes because you would need your stuff in both houses, fluffy toys, PlayStation, animal posters. Then he finds a secret cupboard on the half-landing which he has never noticed before.