Rupert Thomson - Dreams of Leaving

‘I give up with you,’ Moses said.

‘Bloody footpath,’ Louise said. ‘Jesus.’

‘Honestly,’ Gloria said, ‘fancy leaving a footpath there like that. Somebody could hurt themselves.’

Moses laughed.

‘What are you in such a good mood for, Gloria?’ Louise said. ‘I thought you hated this party. I thought you were leaving.’

‘Changed my mind.’

The two girls sat down at opposite ends of a stone bench. There would have been room for Moses between them — just — but Moses, imagining that nearness to Gloria as a kind of heat and not wanting to be burned, stood by the pond instead.

Silence. The city’s parody of silence. Murmuring voices, a hiss of distant cars on wet roads, the hum of a million lit buildings. Something moved in the pond. Moses bent down.

‘Hey, there are real goldfish in here.’ He could see a whole shoal of them gliding through the water. Fat gold missiles fired into the darkness at the end of the pond.

‘ Real goldfish .’ Gloria’s voice mocked him slightly.

He looked over his shoulder, tried to read something more than mockery into that, but her face, backlit by the bright windows of the house, was illegible.

‘Well, you know,’ he said, ‘in a house like this I thought they’d be motorised or something.’

There he was trying to explain himself and they were laughing at him. I’m making her laugh, he realised. And the thought soared in his head like an anthem.

*

Gloria left Louise sitting on the bench and walked across the grass. She paused some distance away. She seemed to be examining a statue of an angel. Moses waited a few moments, then followed her.

When he reached her he didn’t give himself time to think or reconsider. ‘I’d like you to come away with me,’ he said.

‘Now?’ She kept her voice light, detached. Almost visible, it floated through the air towards him.

‘No, not now. Well — maybe. But that’s not what I meant.’

‘What did you mean then?’

‘I meant,’ and he paused, this was sounding dreadful, ‘some weekend.’

‘I don’t even know who you are.’

He swallowed. ‘I’m not dangerous. Really I’m not.’

She tilted her face towards his. He saw a quizzical smile, the fire of curiosity beginning to burn. ‘No,’ she said, ‘I don’t think you are. But I really can’t afford anything like that at the moment. I’m not working, you see.’

‘I thought you sang,’ Moses said, remembering.

She smiled. ‘Not often enough.’

A pause.

‘Tell you what,’ Moses said. ‘I got £80 the other day. For sheets and things. We could use that.’

‘Sheets? What sheets?’

‘Sheets. A man from the DHSS came round to see me. He told me I could claim for lots of things that I wasn’t claiming for. “Like what?” I said. “Like sheets,” he said. So I claimed for sheets and a couple of days ago I got a cheque in the post. £80.’

Gloria was laughing. ‘You’re making this up.’

‘I’m not. I got it yesterday. No, the day before. Really.’

‘Hold on,’ Gloria said. ‘What if this man comes round again and wants to see your new sheets?’

‘Shit. I hadn’t thought of that.’

‘Well,’ Gloria said, ‘he probably won’t.’

‘He might, though.’ Moses, worried now, clutched at his hair. ‘I mean, that’s just the kind of thing they do, isn’t it?’

‘Moses, I’m sorry I said that. I’m sure he won’t come back.’

‘He will. I bet he will, the bastard. You know what they’re like. They’ve got clipboards and pencils attached to them with grubby little bits of string. They wear those pullovers. They make you feel guilty even when you haven’t done anything — ’

Gloria touched his arm. ‘There’s got to be a way round it.’

Moses looked down at her hand. ‘You’re right,’ he said.

Gloria smiled as she saw the anxiety lift and a look of deep reflection take its place.

‘ I know,’ he cried, ‘I’ll borrow some sheets from Eddie.’

‘Who’s Eddie?’

‘Eddie’s the man who made Louise faint.’

Gloria began to laugh again. ‘I don’t believe any of this.’

‘People never believe me,’ Moses said, ‘but it’s all true.’

‘He’s lying,’ Louise said, walking towards them. ‘He’s always lying.’

Moses swung round. ‘What do you know, Louise? All you can do is fall over at parties — ’

‘I didn’t fall over — ’

‘— because you’ve drunk too much — ’

‘I didn’t drink — ’

‘— and then,’ Moses said, grinning, ‘and then you go and sleep with people like Elliot— ‘ He wrinkled his face up in disgust. ‘I just don’t understand how you can — ’

‘You bastard, Moses.’

‘Who’s Elliot?’ Gloria asked.

‘A very good friend of Louise’s,’ Moses told her behind his hand. ‘You know.’

Louise advanced on Moses.

‘Look, if you’re feeling better, Louise,’ Moses said, backing towards the house, ‘maybe we should go back inside and look for Marvin Gaye’s brother. I’ve always wanted to meet Marvin Gaye’s brother. Apparently he’s much more interesting than Marvin — Ow! — Louise! — ’

*

‘Tell you the truth,’ Louise said, when she had done with Moses and they were inside again, ‘I don’t give a fuck about Marvin Gaye’s brother. I’m going to look for the toilet instead.’ She left Moses and Gloria at the foot of the stairs.

‘That girl.’ Moses shook his head. ‘Where did you meet her?’

‘I’ve known her practically all my life,’ Gloria told him. ‘My parents play tennis with her parents. You know how it is.’

Moses didn’t, but he was willing to learn.

In the meantime, they had climbed to the second floor. They timed it badly. They were just passing a room where fifty people were dancing to salsa when Amy blundered out. Three beads of sweat trickled from her hairline. Noticing Gloria, she stopped blundering and began, miraculously, to float. Moses recognised her because she was still wearing that awful blue satin bow. Gloria recognised her because she had no choice.

‘Darling,’ Amy oozed. A fourth bead of sweat appeared. Any more of those, Moses thought, and she’ll have a tiara.

‘Amy, this is Moses,’ Gloria said. ‘Moses, Amy.’

Amy studied Moses, her entire face twisting away from the cigarette that she was holding to the corner of her mouth. ‘We’ve met,’ she declared, swaying a little from the waist.

‘That’s right,’ Moses said. ‘You had two glasses of wine and you suddenly felt greedy so you gave one to me.’

‘I felt sorry for you, darling. Sitting on the stairs all alone like that. What were you doing?’

‘I was thinking about fruit,’ Moses said. ‘Mandarins, actually.’

Amy arched her left eyebrow, smiled out of the side of her mouth, then drew hard on her cigarette. These were separately machined actions. ‘I like that,’ she said.

‘Thank you,’ Moses said.

‘Tell me — ’ and Amy turned to Gloria — ‘is this man anything to do with you?’ Her lips chopped the smoke from her cigarette into signals that were very obvious.

Gloria considered Moses for a moment. Amy waited, eyelashes clashing. Moses thought of insect-feelers and shuddered.

‘Not yet,’ Gloria said finally, smiling.

‘Oh well, in that case,’ Amy said, and stalked off, all haughty angles.

‘Thank Christ she’s gone,’ Moses said.

‘You shouldn’t have flirted with her.’ Gloria’s eyes were glittering with pieces of white light.

‘ Flirted with her?’

‘Yes,’ Gloria said. ‘You were flirting with her.’