Peter Pišťanek - The End of Freddy

At home, Urban puts on the video of Goddess of Revenge for Tina, who follows with interest Freddy’s wife Sida in various unsavoury situations. Tina is frankly repelled by this kind of spectacle, but, on the other hand, finds it strangely intriguing and alluring. For Video Urban, the situation is extremely exciting and erotic. Shots that he’s seen hundreds of times on the screen excite him unusually in this new context. He begins to kiss his cousin in her armchair and slowly undresses her. Tina makes only a token resistance as if the repulsive spectacle had removed all her usual defences. So, finally, Urban makes passionate love to his almost apathetic cousin on the living-room carpet while the screen emits the sporadic moans of tortured girls and the whistling of a cat’o’nine tails.

* * *

After his visit to the Ministry of Defence, Kubeš is naturally more interested in the news about Czech foreign policy. He hunt for articles about international events. He even cuts the articles out and saves them.

He is particularly proud of this story from an old issue of Flash :

Not Just Our Survival, but Our Coexistence is at Stake

Ever since the beginning of the civil war in the Junjan Archipelago, Geľo Todor-Lačný-Dolniak, aged 37, has been at the head of the Slovak National Revolutionary Front. The Front aims to form an independent Slovak state to replace the present Junjan Khanate. Todor-Lačný-Dolniak was fighting the Junjans even before the war. As a fur-trapper, he refused to pay exorbitant taxes to the Soviet tax commissars and was gaoled and tortured several times for his refusal. He can be said to be one of the initiators of the civil war, for he took part in the first of the Slovaks’ spontaneous punitive campaigns against the Junjans. At first sight, he reminds us of Jánošík, in one of the famous Frič films starring Paľo Bielik. His black plaits hang over his giant chest and his straight back. He looks impressive, even in a baggy suit and garish tie, because of his statuesque two-metre tall body and the impressive tattoos on his face and hands. The same goes for his deputy whose name we are not allowed to know. He arrived in the Czech Republic suddenly on a lightning visit, supposed to stay secret. Nobody from the Ministry of Defence, who hosted the two rebel leaders, felt any need to announce it to the media, so ours was the only reporter to succeed in interviewing the mysterious guest. It’s better not to ask about all the things he had to do to get this story.

Q: Why do some Slovaks in your organization use terrorist methods to fight the Junjans? How do you justify Slovak radicals attacking Junjan civilians, too?

A: Look, our statistics show that there are at present some three thousand Slovaks, mostly young people, kept in labour camps. Among them are women, too. They are all innocent. They just happened to have the bad luck of being where the Junjans were carrying out arrests and had to fulfil the planned quota for a labour force to collect lichen. So are you surprised that the Junjans are hated? When a radical kills a Junjan, he is certain that he’s doing his duty. It’s not the Slovaks’ fault. You can’t consider this terrorism. Terrorism is when the Junjan régime sends mercenary squads to subdue the trappers’ settlements in the north and the mercenaries shoot at anything that moves. The response of the radicals is then to blow up railway tracks used by the mercenaries.

Q: Could you briefly describe the organization of the resistance’s armed movement?

A: We attack over the entire archipelago. As the Junjans and their mercenaries, mostly Russians and Ukrainians, are afraid to follow us to the tundra and the northern coast, we have to get them in the cities. We attack at lightning speed and then vanish. Our bases are fishing and hunting settlements on the coast, as well as settlements of nomadic reindeer herders deep in the tundra. We don’t have many weapons, and they are mostly hunting rifles. Military weapons have been captured from the Junjans and their mercenaries, by attacking their stores and patrols.

Q: When we compare your compatriots with European Slovaks, there seems to be a big difference: most Carpathian Slovaks before the break-up of Czechoslovakia wanted only autonomy, not independence. Why do you reject everything except independence?

A: As far as I know, in the former Czechoslovakia repression was never so harsh. There were no attempts to limit the birth rate of Slovaks. Slovak trappers, fishermen and reindeer herders in the former Czechoslovakia certainly didn’t have to pay the taxes we had to. Besides, there are no real Slovaks living in Europe, except for some strange mixed race for whom the Slovak cause is remote and foreign. They have proved it in their foreign policy by their support for the Junjan government. This is distinct from the Czechs, who support our fight. The European Slovaks are probably afraid that Junjans might make them get visas when they visit. We, the real Slovaks, have no interest in autonomy on paper. We want good neighbours, but our fight is for survival. We can’t wait in the hope that someone will give us something. History has clearly shown that nobody grants anyone freedom, if they’re not forced to. And we understand that here, in the Junjan archipelago, we shall either live as a free and equal people, or we shan’t live at all.

Q: What is the purpose of your visit to the Czech Republic?

A: A short holiday and shopping for a hunting rifle. Why do you ask?

At this point the interview was broken off: despite his waiter’s uniform, our reporter was unmasked by security and then escorted from the hotel dining room in an extraordinarily summary manner.

* * *

Video Urban stayed in Prague for several days: work had unexpectedly ran into problems. The content of the films that Urban had brought was so outrageous that the owner of the dubbing studio reneged on the contract. He didn’t want trouble with the law. So it took Urban time to find a new studio where he could have the films dubbed into Czech and English.

Of course, Urban is thoroughly enjoying this forced extension of his Prague stay. By day he works and negotiates, and in the evenings he goes for long walks alone or with his cousin Tina to Hradčany, Malá Strana, or Kampa. Cousin Tina welcomes these walks; she likes walking round Prague. They stop in every café they like and order a coffee or a pastry.

In a few days Tina will be celebrating the fifth anniversary of the founding of her design company Atelier Tina . Video Urban, as an organizational wizard helps to organize the celebration. To make it a bit different, this time Urban rents a Vltava excursion boat for the evening.

The celebration starts at half past seven in the evening. Until eight they have welcoming drinks and wait for latecomers. Then the boat sounds its horn and weighs anchor by Jirásek Bridge. Slowly and majestically heading south upstream, the boat passes Vyšehrad. Cousin Tina, wearing a simple grey mini suit, and visibly moved, welcomes her guests with a few words and, to the accompaniment of a constant barrage of camera flashes, wishes them a pleasant cruise.

Then comes a fun fashion show. Various personalities from Czech cultural, sport, and society life model Tina’s older creations from her previous design periods and, at the end, her newest collection. There is no point mentioning all the prominent models, it would make more sense to list who was not there. But why reopen old wounds?

After the fashion show, comes the free, unstructured part of the event. A jazz trio supplies the music: piano, bass, and drums. On the upper deck there is a well-stocked bar, well patronised from the start; on the lower deck there’s a cold and hot buffet. Some members of Tina’s fan club have accepted invitations, too, and she has to divide her time among them all. Urban, who alone knows the truth, finds this amusing.