Alison Moore - Death and the Seaside

When Chi reappeared after a few days or a week or more, she said that she had been ill, but she received warnings, given by Mr Carr behind closed doors. Bonnie had also had warnings, both for being late and sometimes for not turning up. ‘I thought you were the reliable one, Chichi,’ said Mr Carr, shaking his head in disappointment at seeing Chi arrive late again. ‘But now,’ he said, cocking his thumb towards Bonnie, ‘you’re worse than her.’

One Monday, Chi was gone and someone else was there in her place. The new worker introduced herself to Bonnie as Fiona, although Mr Carr called her Chichi.

Fiona was small and slim, with dark hair so thick that it might have been a wig. Dressed all in black, wearing leggings and trainers, she looked like she was ready to run, or like she could sink into the shadows and just disappear.

On Fiona’s first day, while she and Bonnie were in the staff room and Bonnie was reading the terms and conditions on the back of a packet of sweets, Fiona suddenly said, ‘Dare,’ making Bonnie look up. ‘I dare you,’ said Fiona, and she glanced around the room. Her gaze settled on Mr Carr’s coat, a padded jacket hanging on a nearby hook. ‘I dare you,’ she said, ‘to spit in Mr Carr’s coat pocket.’

‘What?’ said Bonnie.

‘You heard me,’ said Fiona.

Bonnie looked at Mr Carr’s coat; she looked at the pocket. This was a game that had always made Bonnie nervous. At school, it had been Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Love, Kiss or Promise, although, even then, it had seemed mostly to be Dare, or Double Dare which was worse. Once, for a Double Dare, Bonnie had climbed up onto the roof of the sports hut, from which she had been dared to jump. Bonnie had gone to the nearest edge and stood there, looking down, and then someone had shouted up to her and she had jumped. Landing awkwardly on a hard patch of ground, she had twisted her ankle. The teacher on duty in the playground had taken one look at Bonnie and told her that she was a stupid girl. Bonnie had been taken to see the school nurse, who sat Bonnie down, asked her where she had hurt herself and what had happened, tended to the injury and called her a very stupid girl. ‘Erica dared me to do it,’ said Bonnie. The nurse peered over her half-moon spectacles. ‘And if Erica dared you to jump off a skyscraper,’ said the nurse, ‘would you do it?’ Bonnie pictured herself standing on the roof of a skyscraper, her toes right up against a concrete edge, or hanging over it, like someone about to dive into a swimming pool, her head tipped forward to see the ground far below, gravity compelling her. Dare . In the nurse’s room, Bonnie felt a twinge in her ankle and closed her eyes. At home time, her mother was waiting for her at the school gates. As she helped Bonnie into the car, she said, ‘You are a stupid girl.’

Bonnie stood up and went over to where Mr Carr’s coat was hanging up, and touched the pocket.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ said Mr Carr, coming into the room.

‘Nothing,’ said Bonnie, taking her fingers away from his pocket, stepping away from his coat.

Mr Carr looked at her, came over and looked in the pocket of his coat. He narrowed his eyes at her, came very close and said quietly, ‘Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.’ He looked at his watch. ‘What are you standing around in here for?’ he said. ‘You’re slack, do you know that? You ought to have started work five minutes ago.’

Bonnie stood rooted to the spot, waiting for him to finish.

Mr Carr clicked his fingers in her face. ‘Chop chop,’ he said. ‘When I say jump, you jump.’

Bonnie went off to her corridors, and Fiona made her way to the offices.

Dare was Fiona’s favourite game. At any moment, Fiona might say, ‘Dare.’ She might say it as soon as Bonnie came in through the gates, or she might say it during a pause in conversation in the staff room, or sometimes entire weeks would go by and then she would say it: ‘Dare,’ as if they were constantly in the game; as if they were only ever resting in between bouts. With no preamble at all, she would say, ‘Dare,’ and it was, thought Bonnie, like a posthypnotic cue; her new friend would say, ‘Dare,’ and Bonnie would do what she said, or at least she would attempt to.

‘Dare,’ said Fiona, and Bonnie might have to get something out of the vending machine without paying for it, or she would have to get the security guard on the gate to agree to a date. Bonnie hated doing these dares, and yet, when dared, she could not resist, although ultimately she always failed; she never seemed to have the knack for getting free stuff out of the machine or whatever it was.

‘I dare you,’ said Fiona, one breezy Friday evening, ‘to get into one of the labs and let an animal out of its cage.’ Bonnie hated to think about those cages, which she had never seen but which she knew must exist inside the laboratories behind the double doors. She was tempted.

She began her shift, fetching and filling a bucket and carrying it carefully to her starting point. She moved slowly down the long corridor, mopping away the day’s footprints. When she came to the first set of double doors, she paused. She did not know who might be in there. She never saw anyone around that late in the day, apart from her own cleaning team, and the security guard on the gate, reading his paper.

Taking one hand off the mop, she reached out and touched the door. She did not know what she might find behind it. She thought about films she had seen, like 28 Days Later in which the release of infected chimps caused the spread of a highly contagious virus. She was afraid of what she might unleash. She pushed against the door but it did not open; she pushed a little bit harder but it appeared to be locked. She continued down the corridor, mopping from side to side with the warm, bleach-scented water, pausing occasionally to refresh and wring the mop, glancing again at the shut-tight doors behind her.

Back in the staff room at the end of the shift, Fiona was sitting drinking a can of Coca-Cola from the vending machine. She raised her eyebrows at Bonnie, and the eyebrows said, Did you do it?

‘The lab was locked,’ said Bonnie.

‘Fail,’ said Fiona, lifting a right-angled thumb and forefinger to her forehead. The thumb and forefinger said, Loser , and Fiona said, ‘Loser.’ She passed the can to Bonnie, who took a few sips, and the drink made her teeth feel soft.

Mr Carr came into the room. ‘All right, girls?’ he said and Fiona rolled her eyes. Mr Carr stopped at the vending machine to get an energy drink. With the can in his hand, he turned to face Fiona and Bonnie before opening it. He stood with his legs wide apart and drank it down in one, crushing the empty can in his fist when he had finished and throwing it overarm into a bin on the far side of the room.

Fiona got to her feet and shrugged on her coat, and Mr Carr said, ‘Come on then, girls,’ and he came over and furtled around in their bags and pockets, and then he let them go.

They walked towards the gate, and Fiona said, ‘Mr Carr’s a jerk. He tried to feel me up in the store room.’

‘You’re kidding,’ said Bonnie.

‘Has he ever done that to you?’ asked Fiona.

‘No,’ said Bonnie, reaching into her bag for her cigarettes. ‘You ought to report him.’

‘Don’t worry,’ said Fiona. ‘I’ll take care of him.’

Bonnie put a cigarette in her mouth, and Fiona gave her a look of disappointment, which Bonnie was used to.

‘Don’t you know they’ll kill you?’ said Fiona.

‘I know,’ said Bonnie, ‘but I can’t seem to quit.’

‘Have you really tried, though?’ asked Fiona, but Bonnie was turning away, out of the wind, trying to light her cigarette with an unresponsive lighter. Finally, a flame appeared and Bonnie lit her cigarette.