Jacob Wren - Rich and Poor

Some might claim such practices are not ethical, and they would have many trenchant arguments in their favour. However, as every child knows, there is a certain charge of pure pleasure in doing something transgressive, in breaking the rules, colouring outside the lines. I won’t deny or underestimate the degree to which this frisson is one of the few things that occasionally makes our board meetings enjoyable. There is no harm in speculating, and I believe it is our very willingness to take such thought experiments as far as possible that helps us remain competitive. In a dirty fight one must occasionally punch below the belt, though in this particular instance it seems 122TOC had us on the mat, was a complete write-off. Nonetheless, it was our continual hunger to keep searching for some novel use for this completely useless crop that kept me hopeful, let me know that as an organization we were still hungry and curious, because business is only truly exciting when you manage the impossible. Whatever the costs of the gamble, they are kept in balance by the intensive pleasures of a job well done.

2.

Today I have another interview, the second. I spend the morning reviewing my notes, going over the details of everything I know about security and protection. The basic parameters are not so complex. The main rule is always to think of everything, every possibility and danger, anything that might or could go wrong. One group of agents circle the client at closer proximity, maintaining visual or radio contact, all the while intuitively judging what might be a reasonable distance, not too close but close enough to react at a moments notice, while another group cover the larger perimeter. You carefully check all hallways and passages, every imaginable hiding place. One sweep before the client arrives and another upon arrival. There is also a vast array of technological gadgets, all serving, more or less, one of two general functions: to comb the area for possible dangers or to disarm and/or kill possible assailants. I carefully memorize product names and model numbers, using the same mnemonic devices I once used to memorize musical scores to now assign each product its main and secondary functions.

Then there’s the considerable literature on how to avoid future litigation. Some of these documents recommend caution, while others — from what I can tell, the majority available — promote a more reckless approach. If working for an extremely wealthy client, most documents assume it will be reasonably easy to either pay off or threaten the assailant’s friends or family members and therefore make any potential litigation disappear. There are many scenarios concerning how to do so. What is important is to protect the core client at all costs. That is what he is paying for.

I take it all with a grain of salt, memorizing for content, thinking how to put all of these terms in my own mouth, make them sound natural and convincing. I know with job interviews it is the energy you bring to the endeavour that counts most. One must appear relaxed, confident and ready to take on any job. The interviewers are the boss, so it’s important to strike the right balance between confidence and subservience, to create the image of a man who has the confidence to do what he’s told and to do it effectively. I have always had a talent for such situations. I’m hungry for it, want the job, want to win, and my energy falls in line with my desire. There are several hours before the interview and I decide to go for a walk, lose myself in the city, let my mind wander. If I keep studying right up until the moment of the interview, I will arrive too tense. It’s better to forget for a few hours, let my mind wander.

I find a park, one I didn’t know before, though it’s not so far from my apartment, and am amazed how far from the chaos of the city the winding path seems to take me. It’s a bright sunny day, calm in the park, and I think: this is perfect, just what I needed. Sometimes, during quiet moments such as this one, I wonder if I could abandon my quixotic undertaking, give it up, and return to living a somewhat normal, though still haunted, existence. I haven’t yet gone so far, in practical terms it would still be possible to turn back. I wonder what else I might do with my life if I were to loosen my grip on this over-determined, single-minded pursuit. But I am not able to wonder about such things for long, since I know, for me, there is no turning back. I have made up my mind and am too stubborn to let anything short of death prevent me from reaching my goal.

The park is beautiful — large, leafy trees and flowers in full bloom. I read once that Friedrich Hayek, the forefather of our reigning free market ideology, thought public parks were too socialist, that to enter, one should first be charged a fee. But we still have parks. Things get worse but not as quickly as some might like. I don’t really have any positive vision of the future, don’t know what kind of world I’d like to some day live in or if it’s even possible to achieve something better than this. I only know that the billionaires are attacking us, again and again taking measures that serve no other purpose than to increase their own wealth and debase all other aspects of life. And when you are attacked you must fight back, in whatever way you can.

I arrive at the interview with time to spare. Today the waiting room is sparse, just me and one other guy. A crowded room and an empty room have such different energies, and I feel a certain lack as I wait, a creeping inertia, telling myself that this is a good situation, fewer candidates mean less competition, will increase my chances. The other guy goes in first, his appointment was obviously before mine. As soon as he enters I start wondering about him, thinking about the impression he made in the few minutes we sat across from each other. He was tall, maybe ten years older than me, severe looking. Thinking back, I realize that the first moment I saw him, I had a feeling he might be an alcoholic — something about his complexion, a certain hazy tiredness in his eyes. He wasn’t giving anything away, looking straight ahead, only glancing at me once, and yet I took so much unhappiness from his presence. While he’s being interviewed, I find myself thinking about him more and more, trying not to obsess, and realize that from the moment I entered the room I already viewed him as a rival. Maybe he needs this job, doesn’t know how to do anything else, while I have no interest in the position, am competing for reasons he most likely wouldn’t understand or care about. A few minutes later he comes out, smiles at me, says something quick and pleasant, that they’re nice in there and I have nothing to worry about. Maybe he was just nervous before the interview. Maybe I was reading too much into his nervousness, letting my own nervousness influence my perceptions. These are the kinds of mistakes, small errors in judgment, I will not be able to make in the future.

1.

I feel absolute loyalty for the men and women who work for me, but friendship is clearly something else. If a man has one or two close friends over a lifetime he’s doing well, and there is one friend in particular I’ve always considered my closest. Emmett was like a son to me, though the difference between our respective ages was not so great. In an environment and position where it is frequently difficult to trust the endless sycophants who flock around, he was often my bedrock, an eternal confidant who had my back when my better judgment was not in my own best interest. I am not a humourless man, but at the same time, no one has ever accused me of being a great comedian, while Emmett is one of the funniest individuals I have ever known, and in that way we each continuously contributed to the balancing out of the others’ minor social lacks.