Mark Haddon - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

And I asked, “Why?”

And she said, “I don’t know, Christopher. I don’t know because I don’t know anything about Mr. Shears.”

I said, “Mr. Shears used to be married to Mrs. Shears and he left her, like in a divorce. But I don’t know if they were actually divorced.”

And Siobhan said, “Well, Mrs. Shears is a friend of yours, isn’t she? A friend of you and your father. So perhaps your father doesn’t like Mr. Shears because he left Mrs. Shears. Because he did something bad to someone who is a friend.”

And I said, “But Father says Mrs. Shears isn’t a friend of ours anymore.”

And Siobhan said, “I’m sorry, Christopher. I wish I could answer all these questions, but I simply don’t know.”

Then the bell went for the end of school.

The next day I saw 4 yellow cars in a row on the way to school, which made it a Black Day, so I didn’t eat anything at lunch and I sat in the corner of the room all day and read my A-level maths course book. And the next day, too, I saw 4 yellow cars in a row on the way to school, which made it another Black Daytoo, so I didn’t speak to anyone and for the whole afternoon I sat in the corner of the Library groaning with my head pressed into the join between the two walls and this made me feel calm and safe. But on the third day I kept my eyes closed all the way to school until we got off the bus because after I have had 2 Black Daysin a row I’m allowed to do that.

97.But it wasn’t the end of the book because five days later I saw 5 red cars in a row, which made it a Super Good Day, and I knew that something special was going to happen. Nothing special happened at school so I knew something special was going to happen after school. And when I got home I went down to the shop at the end of our road to buy some licorice laces and a Milky Bar with my pocket money.

And when I had bought my licorice laces and a Milky Bar I turned round and saw Mrs. Alexander, the old lady from number 39, who was in the shop as well. She wasn’t wearing jeans now. She was wearing a dress like a normal old lady. And she smelled of cooking.

She said, “What happened to you the other day?”

I asked, “Which day?”

And she said, “I came out again and you’d gone. I had to eat all the biscuits myself.”

I said, “I went away.”

And she said, “I gathered that.”

I said, “I thought you might ring the police.”

And she said, “Why on earth would I do that?”

And I said, “Because I was poking my nose into other people’s business and Father said I shouldn’t investigate who killed Wellington. And a policeman gave me a caution and if I get into trouble again it will be a lot worse because of the caution.”

Then the Indian lady behind the counter said to Mrs. Alexander, “Can I help you?” and Mrs. Alexander said she’d like a pint of milk and a packet of Jaffa cakes and I went out of the shop.

When I was outside the shop I saw that Mrs. Alexander’s dachshund was sitting on the pavement. It was wearing a little coat made out of tartan material, which is Scottish and check. She had tied its lead to the drainpipe next to the door. I like dogs, so I bent down and I said hello to her dog and it licked my hand. Its tongue was rough and wet and it liked the smell on my trousers and started sniffing them.

Then Mrs. Alexander came outside and said, “His name is Ivor.”

I didn’t say anything.

And Mrs. Alexander said, “You’re very shy, aren’t you, Christopher.”

And I said, “I’m not allowed to talk to you.”

And she said, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to tell the police and I’m not going to tell your father, because there’s nothing wrong with having a chat. Having a chat is just being friendly, isn’t it?”

I said, “I can’t do chatting.”

Then she said, “Do you like computers?”

And I said, “Yes. I like computers. I have a computer at home in my bedroom.”

And she said, “I know. I can see you sitting at your computer in your bedroom sometimes when I look across the street.”

Then she untied Ivor’s lead from the drainpipe.

I wasn’t going to say anything because I didn’t want to get into trouble.

Then I thought that this was a Super Good Dayand something special hadn’t happened yet, so it was possible that talking to Mrs. Alexander was the special thing that was going to happen. And I thought that she might tell me something about Wellington or about Mr. Shears without me asking her, so that wouldn’t be breaking my promise.

So I said, “And I like maths and looking after Toby. And also I like outer space and I like being on my own.”

And she said, “I bet you’re very good at maths, aren’t you?”

And I said, “I am. I’m going to do my A-level maths next month. And I’m going to get an A grade.”

And Mrs. Alexander said, “Really? A-level maths?”

I replied, “Yes. I don’t tell lies.”

And she said, “I apologize. I didn’t mean to suggest that you were lying. I just wondered if I heard you correctly. I’m a little deaf sometimes.”

And I said, “I remember. You told me.” And then I said, “I’m the first person to do an A level from my school because it’s a special school.”

And she said, “Well, I am very impressed. And I hope you do get an A.”

And I said, “I will.”

Then she said, “And the other thing I know about you is that your favorite color is not yellow.”

And I said, “No. And it’s not brown either. My favorite color is red. And metal color.”

Then Ivor did a poo and Mrs. Alexander picked it up with her hand inside a little plastic bag and then she turned the plastic bag inside out and tied a knot in the top so that the poo was all sealed up and she didn’t touch the poo with her hands.

And then I did some reasoning. I reasoned that Father had only made me do a promise about five things, which were:

Not to mention Mr. Shears’s name in our house

Not to go asking Mrs. Shears about who killed that bloody dog

Not to go asking anyone about who killed that bloody dog

Not to go trespassing in other people’s gardens

To stop this ridiculous bloody detective game

And asking about Mr. Shears wasn’t any of these things.

And if you are a detective you have to Take Risks, and this was a Super Good Day,which meant it was a good day for Taking Risks, so I said, “Do you know Mr. Shears?” which was like chatting.

And Mrs. Alexander said, “Not really, no. I mean, I knew him well enough to say hello and talk to a little in the street, but I didn’t know much about him. I think he worked in a bank. The National Westminster. In town.”

And I said, “Father says that he is an evil man. Do you know why he said that? Is Mr. Shears an evil man?”

And Mrs. Alexander said, “Why are you asking me about Mr. Shears, Christopher?”

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to be investigating Wellington’s murder and that was the reason I was asking about Mr. Shears.

But Mrs. Alexander said, “Is this about Wellington?”

And I nodded because that didn’t count as being a detective.

Mrs. Alexander didn’t say anything. She walked to the little red box on a pole next to the gate to the park and she put Ivor’s poo into the box, which was a brown thing inside a red thing, which made my head feel funny so I didn’t look. Then she walked back to me.

She sucked in a big breath and said, “Perhaps it would be best not to talk about these things, Christopher.”

And I asked, “Why not?”

And she said, “Because.” Then she stopped and decided to start saying a different sentence. “Because maybe your father is right and you shouldn’t go around asking questions about this.”