Adam Silvera - They Both Die at the End

Penny looks at the door, but doesn’t find Mateo.

Lidia waits for his voice, but he doesn’t say anything.

“. . . Rufus?” Lidia’s heart races and she closes her eyes.

“Yeah.”

It’s happened.

Lidia drops the phone on the couch, punching the cushions, scaring Penny. Lidia doesn’t want to know how it happened, not tonight. Her heart’s already broken, she doesn’t need every last piece shattered to bits. Tiny hands pull Lidia’s hands away from her face, and, like earlier, Penny is tearing up because her mother is crying.

“Mommy,” Penny says. This one word says everything to Lidia—fall apart, but piece herself back together. If not for herself, for her daughter.

Lidia kisses Penny’s forehead and picks up the phone. “You there, Rufus?”

“Yeah,” he says again. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I’m sorry for your loss too,” Lidia says. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the same hospital as his dad,” Rufus says.

Lidia wants to ask him if he’s okay, but she knows he won’t be soon enough.

“I’m gonna visit him,” Rufus says. “Mateo wanted to come out to him, but . . . we didn’t make it. Should I tell his dad? Is it weird that it’s me? You know him best.”

“You know him really well too,” Lidia says. “If you can’t, I can.”

“I know he can’t hear, but I wanna tell him how brave his son was,” Rufus says.

Was . Mateo is now a was .

“I can hear you,” Lidia says. “Please tell me first.”

Lidia holds Penny in her lap while Rufus tells her everything Mateo didn’t get a chance to tell her himself tonight. Tomorrow she’ll build the bookcase Mateo bought for Penny and put his pictures all around her room.

Lidia will keep Mateo alive the only way she can.

10:12 p.m.

Delilah is writing the obituary based on the interview her boss didn’t fire her over. Howie Maldonado may have wanted a different life, but the legacy Delilah has learned from him is an important one—life is about balances. A pie chart with equal slices in all areas of life for maximum happiness.

Delilah was positive she wouldn’t be meeting Death today. But maybe Death simply has other plans for her. There’s still a little under two hours left until midnight. In this time, she’ll be able to see if it’s been coincidence or a doomed fate pushing her back and forth all day, like wave after wave.

Delilah is at Althea, a diner named for the park across the street, where she first met Victor, and she’s nearly done writing the obituary for the man she’s mostly only ever known from afar, instead of confronting the man she loves in what could possibly be her final hours.

She pushes aside her notebook to make room so she can spin the engagement ring Victor refused to take back last night. Delilah decides on a game. If the emerald is facing her, she’ll give in and call him. If the band is facing her, she’ll simply finish the obituary, go home, get a good night’s rest, and figure out next steps tomorrow.

Delilah spins the ring and the emerald points directly at her; not even the slightest bit favoring her shoulder or other patrons.

Delilah whips out her phone and calls Victor, desperately hoping he’s screwing with her. Maybe one of the many secrets regarding Death-Cast is they decide who dies, like some lottery no one wants to win. Maybe Victor went in to work, slid her name across Mr. Executive Executor’s table, and said, “Take her.”

Maybe heartbreak kills.

10:13 p.m.

Death-Cast did not call Victor Gallaher last night because he isn’t dying today. Protocol for telling an employee about their End Day involves an administrator calling the Decker into their office “for a meeting.” It’s never obvious to the outside employees whether the person is dying or being terminated—they simply never return to their desk. But this is of little concern for Victor since he’s not dying today.

Victor has been pretty depressed, more so than usual. His fiancée—he’s still calling Delilah his fiancée because she still has his grandmother’s ring—tried breaking up with him last night. Even though she claims it’s because she’s not in the same headspace he is, he knows it’s because he hasn’t been himself lately. Ever since starting at D-C three months ago, he’s been in—for lack of a stronger word—a funk. He’s on his way to the in-house therapist for all D-C employees, because on top of Delilah trying to end things with him, the weight of the job is killing him: the pleading he can’t do anything about, the questions he has zero answers for—all of it is crushing. But the money is damn good and the health insurance is damn good and he’d really like things to be damn good with his fiancée again.

Victor walks into the building—undisclosed location, of course—with Andrea Donahue, a coworker who doesn’t stop to admire the portraits of smiling Victorians and past presidents on the yellow walls. Death-Cast’s aesthetic is not what you’d imagine it to be. No doom and gloom in here. It was decided the open floor plan should be less professional, and bright, like a day care, so the heralds wouldn’t drive themselves crazy as they delivered End Day alerts in cramped cubicles.

“Hey, Andrea,” Victor says, pushing the elevator button.

Andrea has been working at D-C since the beginning, at a job Victor knows she desperately needs, even though she hates it, because of the damn good pay for her kid’s rocket-high tuition and damn good health insurance since her leg is busted. “Hi,” she says.

“How’s the kitty?” Small talk before and after shifts is encouraged by the D-C administrators; mini-opportunities to connect with those in possession of tomorrows.

“Still a kitty,” Andrea says.

“Cool.”

The elevator arrives. Victor and Andrea get on and Victor quickly presses Close so he doesn’t have to share the elevator with some of his coworkers who do nothing but ramble on about things that don’t matter, like celebrity gossip and bad TV, on their way to basically ruin someone’s life. Victor and Delilah call them “Switches” and they both hate that people like them exist.

His phone buzzes inside his pocket. He tries not psyching himself into thinking Delilah is calling and his heart races when he reads her name. “It’s her,” Victor tells Andrea, turning to her as if she’s in the know. She’s as interested in his life as he is in her new kitty. He answers the phone: “Delilah! Hi.” A little desperate, sure, but this is love we’re talking about.

“Did you do it, Victor?”

“Do what?”

“Don’t mess with me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The End Day call. Did you have someone harass me because you’re pissed? If you did, I won’t report you. Just tell me now and we can forget about it.”

Victor’s spirit drops as he reaches the tenth floor. “You got the alert?” Andrea was about to get out, but stays on the elevator. Victor doesn’t know if she’s staying because she’s concerned or interested, and he doesn’t care. Victor knows Delilah isn’t playing with his head. He can always tell when she’s lying by the tone of her voice, and he knows she’s accusing him of an actual threat she most certainly would report him for. “Delilah.”

Delilah is quiet on the other end.

“Delilah, where are you?”

“Althea,” she says.

The diner where they met—she still loves him, he knew it.

“Don’t move, okay? I’m coming.” He presses Close again, trapping Andrea in there with him. He presses Lobby thirty-something times, even as the elevator is already descending.