Gabriel Tallent - My Absolute Darling

“Why not fight for it?” Turtle says.

“I just—” Anna begins delicately.

“I want to go,” Turtle says.

“Why?” Anna says. “You don’t have to do this. Turtle, you shouldn’t do this.”

“I don’t care. I want to try.”

“Jacob will be there,” Anna says warningly.

“I know.”

“Turtle,” Anna says, “you’ll get there.”

“Will I?”

“I think so,” Anna says.

Turtle says nothing.

“And when you’re ready, then we’ll go. But this? This is rash.”

They wait in silence. Turtle rises, runs the sink, refills her glass of water, and Zaki scrambles off the couch, gallops down the hall , runs in, tail high, and seats herself across from the two women and looks at them and yawns hugely and licks her lips, seemingly deeply contented, lidding and unlidding her eyes in the slowest, most self-satisfied look of lazy approval, curling her tail around her paws and then flicking it up and resettling it.

“Zaki thinks I should go,” Turtle tells Anna, and Anna laughs and then sets her bowl down exhaustedly and lies there as if unable to get up.

“I am so tired,” Anna says. Then she looks at Turtle. “You really want to go?”

“I want to try,” Turtle says.

“All right,” Anna says.

Turtle waits beside her in the small redwood kitchen, the two of them sitting on the floor, Anna with her wine, Turtle still with her bowl, and neither of them rises. They just wait, taking each other in.

For her guidance, I would like to thank my agent, Joy Harris, the staunchest and best of allies. For her counsel and advice, Michelle Latiolais. For hard work, insight, and courage, my editor, Sarah McGrath. For her blazing intellect and her convictions, Jynne Martin. For all the help, Danya Kukafka. For being the first to believe, William Daniel Hough. For her brilliance, Shannon Pufahl. For thoughtfulness and support, Scott Hutchins. For their friendship, Charles and Philip Hicks. For sharing his love of the wilderness, Ray Tallent. I would also like to thank Teresa Sholars for patiently fielding questions about botany and phenology. For classroom questions, Meghan Chandra. For medical questions, Steve Santora, Ross Greenlee, and Patricia Greenlee. I also need to thank Ross and Patricia Greenlee for all their love and support, in addition to the technical help. All of the numerous mistakes are mine alone. For stocking all the best books, Christie Olson Day and the Gallery Bookshop. I would like to thank a few teachers who meant the world to me: Jenny Otter, Derek Hutchinson, Jim Jennings, Ryan Olson Day, Tobias Menely, Mike Chasar, and Gretchen Moon. My parents, Gloria and Elizabeth, for more than words can say. And lastly, Harriet, for catching me when I fall.

© Alex Adams

Gabriel Tallentwas born in New Mexico and raised on the Mendocino coast by two mothers. He received his BA from Willamette University in 2010, and after graduation spent two seasons leading youth trail crews in the backcountry of the Pacific Northwest. Tallent lives in Salt Lake City.