Cecelia Ahern - P.S. I Love You

She picked up her glass of wine and headed over.

“Hi, Holly.”

She turned to see who had called her name.

“Oh, hello, Jennifer.” She was faced with another woman she knew only from attending the ball. She was dressed in an over-the-top ball gown, dripping in expensive jewelry, and she held a glass of champagne between the thumb and forefinger of her gloved hand. Her blond hair was almost white, and her skin was dark and leathery as a result of too much sun.

“How are you? You look fab, the dress is fab!” She sipped on her champagne and looked Holly up and down.

“I'm fine, thank you, you?”

“I'm just fab, thanks. Gerry not with you tonight?” she looked around the room for him.

“No, he passed away in February,” she repeated gently.

“Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that.” She placed her glass of champagne down on the table next to them and her hands flew to her face, her forehead creasing with worry. “I had no idea. How are you keeping, you poor love?” she reached out and placed her hand on Holly's arm.

“I'm fine, thank you,” Holly repeated, smiling to keep the atmosphere light.

“Oh, you poor thing.” Jennifer's voice was hushed and she looked at her pityingly. “You must be devastated.”

“Well yes, it is hard, but I'm dealing with it. Trying to be positive, you know?”

“Gosh, I don't know how you can be, that's awful news.” Her eyes continued to bore into Holly.

She seemed to look at her differently now. Holly nodded along and wished this woman would stop telling her what she already knew.

“And was he ill?” she probed.

“Yes, he had a brain tumor,” she explained.

“Oh dear, that's awful . And he was so young .” Every word she emphasized became a high-pitched screech.

“Yes he was . . . but we had a happy life together, Jennifer.” She once again tried to keep the atmosphere positive, a concept she didn't think this woman was aware of.

“Yes you did, but what a shame it wasn't a longer life. That's devastating for you. Absolutely awful and so unfair. You must feel miserable. And how on earth did you come here tonight?

With all these couples around?” She looked around at all the couples as though there were suddenly a bad smell in the air.

“Well, you just have to learn to move on,” Holly smiled.

“Of course you do. But it must be so difficult. Oh, how awful .” She held her gloved hands up to her face, looking appalled.

Holly smiled and spoke through gritted teeth, “Yes, it's difficult, but like I said you just have to stay positive and move on. Anyway, speaking of moving on, I better go and join my friends,”

she said politely and dashed off.

“You all right?” Daniel asked as she joined her friends.

“Yes I'm fine, thank you,” she repeated for the tenth time that night. She glanced over at Jennifer, who was in a huddle with her female friends talking and staring over at Holly and Daniel.

“I have arrived!” a loud voice announced at the door. Holly turned around to see Jamie, the party animal, standing at the door with his arms held high in the air. “I have once again dressed in my penguin suit and I am ready to partaaay!” He did a little dance before joining the group, attracting stares from around the room. Just what he wanted. He made his way around their circle greeting the men with a handshake and the women with a kiss on the cheek, sometimes

“hilariously” switching the gesture. He paused when he got to Holly and he glanced back and forth from Holly to Daniel a couple of times. He shook Daniel's hand stiffly, pecked Holly on the cheek quickly as though she were diseased, and rushed off. Holly tried to swallow the lump in her throat angrily. That had been very rude.

His wife, Helen, smiled timidly over at Holly from across the other side of their circle but didn't come over. Holly wasn't surprised. It had obviously been too difficult for them to drive ten minutes down the road to visit Holly after Gerry died, so she would hardly expect Helen to take ten steps toward her to say hello. She ignored them and turned to talk to her real friends, the people who had supported her for the past year.

Holly was laughing at one of Sharon's stories when she felt a light tapping on her shoulder. She turned around mid-laughter to face a very sad-looking Helen.

“Hi, Helen,” she said happily.

“How are you?” Helen said quietly, touching Holly gently on the arm.

“Oh I'm fine,” Holly nodded. “You should listen to this story, it's very funny.” She smiled and continued to listen to Sharon.

Helen left her hand on Holly's arm and eventually tapped her again after a few minutes. “I mean, how are you since Gerry . . .”

Holly gave up listening to Sharon.

“Since Gerry died, do you mean?” Holly understood that people sometimes felt awkward about these situations. Holly often did too, but she felt that if someone had brought the subject up themselves they could at least be adult enough to carry the conversation through properly.

Helen appeared to wince at Holly's question. “Well yes, but I didn't want to say . . .”

“It's OK, Helen; I've accepted that that's what happened.”

“Have you?”

“Of course I have,” Holly frowned.

“It's just that I haven't seen you for a very long time so I was beginning to get worried . . .”

Holly laughed. “Helen, I still live around the corner from you in the same house as before, my home phone number is still the same, as is my mobile number. If you were ever that worried about me I was never that difficult for you to find.”

“Oh yes, but I didn't want to intrude . . .” She trailed off as if that were her explanation for not seeing Holly since the funeral.

“Friends don't intrude, Helen,” Holly said politely, but she hoped she had gotten her message across.

Helen's cheeks blushed slightly and Holly turned away to answer Sharon.

“Keep me a seat beside you, will you? I just need to run to the ladies again,” Sharon asked, doing a little dance on the spot.

“Again?” Denise blurted out. “You were just there five minutes ago!”

“Yes, well, this tends to happen when you have a seven-month-old baby pushing down on your bladder,” she explained before waddling off to the toilet.

“It's not actually seven months old, though, is it?” Denise said, scrunching her face up.

“Technically it's minus two months, because otherwise that would mean that the baby would be nine months old when he was born and then they would be celebrating his first birthday after only three months. And usually babies are walking by the time they're one.”

Holly frowned at her. “Denise, why do you torment yourself with thoughts like that?”

Denise frowned and turned to Tom, “I'm right though, aren't I, Tom?”

“Yes love,” he smiled sweetly at her.

“Chicken,” Holly teased Tom.

The bell was rung, signaling that it was time to take their places in the dining area and the crowds began to swarm in. Holly took her seat and placed her new handbag down on the chair beside her to reserve it for Sharon. Helen wandered over and pulled out the chair to sit down.

“Sorry Helen, but Sharon asked me to save this seat for her,” Holly explained politely.

Helen waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, Sharon won't mind,” she said, plonking herself down on the chair and squashing Holly's new handbag. Sharon made her way over to the table and stuck out her bottom lip in disappointment. Holly apologized and motioned over to Helen as her excuse. Sharon rolled her eyes and stuck her fingers in her mouth and pretended to gag. Holly giggled.

“Well, you're in high spirits,” Jamie announced to Holly, sounding very unimpressed.