Cecelia Ahern - P.S. I Love You

He continued eating his dinner and Holly sat in silence, trying to absorb all the information he had given her. She didn't remember idolizing Jack, but when she thought about it she supposed Richard was right. Jack was her funny, cool, good-looking big brother who had loads of friends, and Holly used to beg him to let her play with them. She supposed she still felt that way about him; if he called her right now and asked her to go out she would drop everything and go, and she had never even realized that before. However, she was spending far more time with Richard than with Jack these days. Jack had always been her favorite brother; Gerry had always gotten along with Jack the best. It was Jack who Gerry would choose to go out for drinks with during the week, not Richard; it was Jack who Gerry would insist on sitting beside at a family dinner.

However Gerry was gone, and although Jack rang her every now and then, he wasn't around as much as he used to be. Had Holly held Jack up on too much of a pedestal? She realized then that she had been making excuses for him every time he didn't call around or phone her when he said he would. In fact, she had been making excuses for him ever since Gerry had died.

Richard had, lately, managed to give Holly a regular intake of food for thought. She watched him remove his serviette from his collar and was interested as he folded it into a neat little square with perfect right angles. He obsessively straightened whatever was on the table so that everything was facing the right way in an orderly fashion. For all Richard's good qualities, which she recognized now, Holly could not live with a man like that at all.

They both jumped as they heard a thump from outside and saw little Emily lying on the ground in floods of tears while a shocked-looking Timmy watched. Richard leapt out of his chair and hurried outside.

“But she just fell, Daddy, I didn't do anything!” she heard Timmy plead with his father. Poor Timmy. She rolled her eyes as she watched Richard dragging him by the arm and ordering him to stand in the corner to think about what he had done. Some people would never really change, she thought wryly.

The next day Holly jumped around the house ecstatically as she replayed the message on the answering machine for the third time.

“Hi Holly,” came the gruff voice. “This is Chris Feeney here from magazine X. I'm just calling to say that I was very impressed with your interview. Em . . .” He stalled a bit. “Well, I wouldn't normally say this on an answering machine, but no doubt you'll be delighted to know that I've decided to welcome you as a new member of the team. I would love you to start as soon as possible, so call me on the usual number when you get a chance and we'll discuss it further. Em .

. . Good-bye.”

Holly rolled around her bed in terrified delight and pressed the PLAY button again. She had aimed for the moon . . . and she had now landed!

Thirty-seven

HOLLY STARED UP AT THE tall Georgian building and her body tingled with excitement. It was her first day of work and she felt good times were ahead of her in this building. It was situated in the center of town, and the busy offices of magazine X were on the second floor above a small café. Holly had gotten very little sleep the night before due to nerves and excitement all rolled into one; however, she didn't feel the same dread that she usually felt before starting a new job. She had phoned Mr. Feeney back immediately (after listening to his voice message another three times) and then she had shared the news with her family and friends. They had been ecstatic when they heard the news, and just before she left the house that morning she had received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from her parents congratulating her and wishing her luck on her first day.

She felt like she was starting her first day at school and had gone shopping for new pens, a new notepad, a folder and a new briefcase that made her look extra intelligent. But although she had felt excited when she sat down to eat her breakfast, she had also felt sad. Sad that Gerry wasn't there to share her new start. They had performed a little ritual every time Holly started a new job, which was quite a regular occurrence. Gerry would wake Holly up with breakfast in bed and then he would pack her bag with ham and cheese sandwiches, an apple, a packet of crisps and a bar of chocolate. Then he would drive her into work on her first day, call her on her lunch break to see if the other kids in the office were playing nicely, and return at the end of the day to collect her and bring her home. Then they would sit together over dinner and he would listen and laugh as Holly explained all the different characters in her office and once again grumble about how she hated going to work. Mind you, they only ever did that on her first day, every other day they would tumble out of bed late as usual, race each other to the shower and then wander around the kitchen half asleep, grumbling at each other while they grabbed a quick cup of coffee to help them get started. They would give each other a kiss good-bye and go their separate ways for the day. And then they would start all over again the next day. If Holly had known their time would be so precious, she wouldn't have bothered carrying out all those tedious routines day after day . . .

This morning, however, had been a very different scenario. She awoke to an empty house in an empty bed to no breakfast. She didn't have to fight for her right to use the shower first and the kitchen was quiet without the sound of his fits of morning sneezes. She had allowed herself to imagine that when she woke up Gerry would miraculously be there to greet her because it was tradition and such a special day that it wouldn't feel right without him. But with death there were no exceptions. Gone meant gone.

Now, poised at the entrance, Holly checked herself to see that her fly wasn't undone, her jacket wasn't tucked into her knickers and her shirt buttons were fastened properly. Satisfied that she looked presentable, she made her way up the wooden staircase to her new office. She entered the waiting room area and the secretary she recognized from the interview came from around the desk to meet her.

“Hi Holly,” she said happily, shaking her hand, “welcome to our humble abode.” She held her hands up to display the room. Holly had liked this woman from the moment she had met her at the interview. She looked to be about the same age as Holly and had long blond hair and a face that seemed to be always happy and smiling.

“I'm Alice by the way, and I work out here in reception as you know. Well, I'll bring you to the boss man now. He's waiting for you.”

“God, I'm not late, am I?” Holly asked, worriedly glancing at her watch. She had left the house early to beat the traffic and she had given herself plenty of time to avoid being late on her first day.

“No, you're not at all,” Alice said, leading her down to Mr. Feeney's office. “Don't mind Chris and all the other lot, they're all workaholics. They need to get themselves a life, bless them. You wouldn't see me hanging around here anytime after six, that's for sure.”

Holly laughed; Alice reminded her of her former self.

“By the way, don't feel that you have to come in early and stay late just because they do. I think Chris actually lives in his office, so you'll never compete with that. The man isn't normal,” she said loudly, tapping on his door lightly and leading her in.

“Who's not normal?” Mr. Feeney asked gruffly, standing up from his chair and stretching.

“You.” Alice smiled and closed the door behind her.

“See how my staff treat me?” Mr. Feeney laughed, approaching Holly and holding out his hand to greet her. His handshake was once again warm and welcoming, and Holly felt immediately at ease with the atmosphere between the workers.