Cecelia Ahern - P.S. I Love You

“Yes it is. I can't just move on with my life like you're all doing and pretend that nothing has happened.”

“Do you think that that's what we're doing?”

“Well, let's look at the evidence, shall we?” she said sarcastically. “Sharon is having a baby and Denise is getting married–”

“Holly, that's called living,” John interrupted, and he looked up from the table. “You seem to have forgotten how to do that. Look, I know that it's difficult for you because I know it's difficult for me. I miss Gerry too. He was my best mate. I lived right next door to him all my life.

I went to playschool with the guy, for Christ's sake. We went to primary school together, we went to secondary school together and we played on the same football team. I was his best man at his wedding and he was at mine! Whenever I had a problem I went to Gerry, whenever I wanted to have a bit of fun I went to Gerry. I told him some things that I would never have told Sharon and he told me things he wouldn't have told you. Just because I wasn't married to him doesn't mean that I don't feel like you do. And just because he's dead doesn't mean I have to stop living too.”

Holly sat stunned. John twisted his chair around in order to face her properly. The legs of the chair squeaked loudly in the silence. He took a deep breath before he spoke again.

“Yes, it's difficult. Yes, it's horrible. Yes, it's the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life. But I can't just give up. I can't just stop going to the pub because there's two blokes laughing and joking on the stools Gerry and I used to sit on, and I can't stop going to football matches just because it's somewhere we used to go together all the time. I can remember it all right and smile about it, but I can't just stop going there.”

Tears welled in Holly's eyes and John continued talking.

“Sharon knows you're hurting and she understands, but you have to understand that this is a hugely important time in her life, too, and she needs her best friend to help her through it. She needs your help just like you need hers.”

“I'm trying John,” Holly sobbed as hot tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I know you are.” He leaned forward and grabbed her hands. “But Sharon needs you. Avoiding the situation isn't going to help anyone or anything.”

“But I went for a job interview today,” she sobbed childishly.

John tried to hide his smile. “That's great news, Holly. And how did it go?”

“Shite,” she sniffed, and John started laughing. He allowed a silence to fall between them before he spoke again.

“She's almost five months pregnant, you know.”

“What?” Holly looked up in surprise. “She didn't tell me!”

“She was afraid to,” he said gently. “She thought you might get mad at her and never want to speak to her again.”

“Well, that was stupid of her to think that,” Holly said angrily and wiped her eyes aggressively.

“Oh really?” He raised his eyebrows. “So what do you call all this then?”

Holly looked away. “I meant to call her, I really did. I picked up the phone every day but I just couldn't do it. Then I would say that I'd call the next day, and the next day I would be busy . . .

oh, I'm sorry, John. I'm truly happy for the both of you.”

“Thank you, but it's not me that needs to hear any of this, you know.”

“I know, but I've been so awful! She'll never forgive me now!”

“Oh, don't be stupid, Holly, it's Sharon we're talking about here. She'll have it all forgotten about by tomorrow.”

Holly raised her eyebrows at him hopefully.

“Well, maybe not tomorrow . Next year perhaps . . . and you'll owe her big-time, but she'll eventually forgive you . . .” His icy eyes warmed and twinkled back at her.

“Stop it!” Holly giggled, hitting him on the arm. “Can I go with you to see her?”

Butterflies fluttered around in Holly's stomach as they pulled up outside the hospital. She spotted Sharon looking around as she stood alone outside, waiting to be collected. She looked so cute Holly had to smile at the sight of her friend. Sharon was going to be a mummy. She couldn't believe she was almost five months pregnant. That meant Sharon had been three months pregnant when they went away on holiday and she hadn't said a word! But more important, Holly couldn't believe that she stupidly hadn't noticed the changes in her friend. Of course she wouldn't have had a bump at only three months; but now, as she looked at Sharon dressed in a polo neck and jeans, she could see the swelling of a tiny bump. And it suited her.

Holly stepped out of the car and Sharon's face froze.

Oh no, Sharon was going to scream at her. She was going to tell her she hated her and that she never wanted to see her again and that she was a crappy friend and that . . .

Sharon's face broke into a smile and she held her arms out to her. “Come here to me, you fool,”

she said softly.

Holly ran into her arms. There, with her best friend hugging her tight, she felt the tears begin again. “Oh Sharon, I'm so sorry, I'm a horrible person. I'm so so so so so so sorry, please forgive me. I never meant to–”

“Oh shut up, you whiner, and hug me.” Sharon cried too, her voice cracking, and they squeezed each other for a long time as John looked on.

“Ahem,” John cleared his throat loudly.

“Oh come here, you.” Holly smiled and dragged him into their huddle.

“I presume this was your idea.” Sharon looked at her husband.

“No not at all,” he said, winking at Holly, “I just passed Holly on the street and told her I'd give her a lift . . .”

“Yeah right,” she said sarcastically, linking arms with Holly as they walked toward the car.

“Well, you certainly gave me a lift anyway.” She smiled at her friend.

“So what did they say?” Holly asked, squeezing herself forward between the two front seats from the back of the car like an excited little child. “What is it?”

“Well, you'll never believe this, Holly.” Sharon twisted around in her chair and matched her friend's excitement. “The doctor told me that . . . and I believe him because apparently he's one of the best . . . anyway he told me . . .”

“Come on!” Holly urged her on, dying to hear.

“He says it's a baby!”

Holly rolled her eyes. “Ha-ha. What I mean is, is it a boy or a girl?”

“It's an it for now. They're not too sure yet.”

“Would you want to know what 'it' is if they could tell you?”

Sharon scrunched her nose up. “I don't know actually, I haven't figured that out yet.” She looked across at John and the two of them shared a secret smile.

A familiar pang of jealousy hit Holly and she sat quietly while she let it pass until the excitement returned. The three of them headed back to Holly's house. She and Sharon weren't quite ready to leave each other again after just making up. They had so much to talk about. Sitting around Holly's kitchen table, they made up for lost time.

“Sharon, Holly went for a job interview today,” John said when he finally managed to get a word in edgewise.

“Ooh really? I didn't know you were job-hunting already!”

“Gerry's new mission for me,” Holly smiled.

“Oh, was that what it was this month? I was just dying to know! So how did it go?”

Holly grimaced and held her head in her hands. “Oh it was awful, Sharon. I made a total fool of myself.”

“Really?” Sharon giggled. “What was the job?”

“Selling advertising space for that magazine, X .”

“Ooh, that's cool, I read that at work all the time.”

“Don't think I know that one, what kind of magazine is it?” John asked.

“Oh, it kind of has everything in it: fashion, sports, culture, food, reviews . . . everything really.”