Cecelia Ahern - P.S. I Love You

Sharon hadn't called Holly since the day after she had announced her pregnancy, and Holly knew she would have to call her friend soon before the days passed her by and it was too late.

This was an important time in Sharon's life and she knew she should be there for her, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She was being a jealous, bitter and incredibly selfish friend, she knew that, but Holly needed to be selfish these days in order to survive. She was still trying to get her head around the fact that Sharon and John were managing to achieve everything that everyone had always assumed Holly and Gerry would do first. Sharon had always said she hated kids, Holly thought angrily. Holly would call Sharon when she was good and ready.

It began to get chilly and Holly took her glass of wine inside to her warm house where she refilled it. All she could do for the next couple of days was wait for her job interviews and pray for success. She went into the sitting room, turned on her and Gerry's favorite album of love songs on the CD player and snuggled up on the couch with her glass of wine, where she closed her eyes and pictured them dancing around the room together.

The following day she was awoken by the sound of a car driving into her driveway. She got out of bed and threw Gerry's dressing gown on, presuming it was her car being returned from the garage. She peeped out of the curtains and immediately jumped back as she saw Richard stepping out of his car. She hoped he hadn't seen her because she really wasn't in the mood for one of his visits. She paced her bedroom floor feeling guilty as she ignored the doorbell ringing for the second time. She knew she was being horrible, but she just couldn't bear sitting down with him for another awkward conversation. She really hadn't anything to talk about anymore, nothing had changed in her life, she had no exciting news, not even any normal news to tell anybody, never mind Richard.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she heard him walk away and heard his car door bang shut. She stepped into the shower and allowed the warm water to run over her face and she was once again lost in a world of her own. Twenty minutes later she padded downstairs in her Disco Diva slippers. A scraping noise from outside made her freeze in her step. She pricked her ears up and listened more closely, trying to identify the sound. There it was again. A scraping noise and a rustling like somebody was in her garden . . . Holly's eyes widened as she realized that her leprechaun was outside working in her garden. She stood still, unsure of what to do next.

She crept into the living room, stupidly thinking the person outside would hear her wandering around her house, and she got down on her knees. Peering above the windowsill she gasped as she saw Richard's car still sitting in the driveway. What was even more surprising was the sight of Richard on his hands and knees with a small gardening implement in his hand, digging up the soil and planting new flowers. She crawled away from the window and sat on the carpet in shock, unsure of what to do next. The sound of her car being parked outside the house snapped her back to attention and her brain went on overdrive as she tried to figure out whether to answer the door to her mechanic or not. For some odd reason Richard didn't want Holly to know that he was working on her garden, and she decided she was going to respect that wish...

for now.

She hid behind the couch as she saw her mechanic approach the door and she had to laugh at how ridiculous this all seemed. She giggled quietly to herself as the doorbell rang and she scurried even further behind the couch as her mechanic walked over to the window and stared in. Her heart beat wildly and she felt as though she were doing something illegal. She covered her mouth and tried to smother her laughs. She felt like such a child again. She had always been hopeless at playing hide-and-seek, whenever she felt her seeker coming near her she would always get an attack of the giggles and her hiding place would be found. Then for the rest of the day she would have to search for everybody else. She wouldn't giggle then because everybody knew that was the boring part that was always given to the youngest child. But she was making up for lost wins in the past because she had succeeded in fooling both Richard and her mechanic, and she rolled around on the carpet laughing at herself as she heard him drop the keys through the letterbox and walk away from the door.

A few minutes later she stuck her head out from around the couch and checked if it was safe to come out. She stood up and brushed the dust off her clothes, telling herself she was too old to be playing silly games. She peeked out from behind the curtain again and saw Richard packing up his gardening equipment.

On second thought, these silly games were fun and she had nothing else to do. Holly kicked off her slippers and shoved her feet into her trainers. As soon as she saw Richard drive down the road she ran outside and hopped into her car. She was going to chase her leprechaun.

She managed to stay three cars behind him all the way, just like they did in the movies, and she slowed down as she saw him pulling over ahead of her. He parked his car and went into the newsagent and returned with a newspaper in his hand. Holly put her sunglasses on, adjusted her baseball cap and peered over the top of the Arab Leader that was covering her face. She laughed at herself as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. She looked like the most suspicious person in the world. She watched Richard cross the road and head into the Greasy Spoon. She was slightly disappointed; she was hoping for a far juicier adventure than this.

She sat in her car for a few minutes trying to formulate a new plan and jumped with fright as a traffic warden banged on her window.

“You can't park here,” he said, motioning toward the car park. Holly smiled back sweetly and rolled her eyes as she backed into a free space. Surely Cagney and Lacey never had this problem.

Eventually her inner child settled down to have a nap and mature Holly took her cap and glasses off and tossed them onto the passenger seat, feeling foolish. Silly games over. Real life starting now.

She crossed the road and looked around inside the café for her brother. She spotted him sitting down with his back to her, hunched over his newspaper and drinking a cup of tea. She marched over happily with a smile on her face. “God, Richard, do you ever go to work?” she joked loudly, causing him to jump. She was about to say more but stopped herself as he looked up at her with tears in his eyes and his shoulders began to shake.

Thirty-three

HOLLY LOOKED AROUND TO SEE if anyone else in the café had noticed and she slowly pulled out a chair and sat down beside Richard. Had she said something wrong? She looked at Richard's face in shock, not knowing what to do or what to say. She could safely say that she had never been in this situation before. Tears rolled down his face and he tried with all his might to stop them.

“Richard, what's wrong?” she said, confused, and she placed her hand awkwardly on his arm and patted it.

Richard continued to shake with tears.

The plump lady dressed in a canary yellow apron this time made her way around the counter and placed a box of tissues on the table beside Holly.

“Here you go,” she said, handing Richard a tissue. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose loudly, a big old-man blow, and Holly tried to hide her smile.

“I'm sorry for crying,” Richard said, embarrassed, and avoided eye contact with her.

“Hey,” she said softly, placing her hand more easily on his arm this time, “there's nothing wrong with crying. It's my new hobby these days, so don't knock it.”