Cecelia Ahern - P.S. I Love You

“Oh, here she comes,” Denise sang and turned her back to her.

Holly looked up and saw a skinny blond-haired girl with big fake tits heading toward them.

“You better get those knuckle-dusters out, Denise, she looks like a dangerous one,” Holly teased and Sharon choked on her drink.

“Hi there!” the girl squeaked.

“Hello,” Sharon said, trying not to laugh.

“I didn't mean to be rude by staring, but I just had to come over and see if it was really you!”

“It's me all right,” Sharon said sarcastically, “in the flesh.”

“Oh, I just knew it!” the girl squealed and jumped up and down with excitement. Unsurprisingly her chest stayed still. “My friends kept telling me I was wrong but I knew it was you! That's them over there.” She turned around and pointed to the end of the bar and the other four spice girls twinkled their fingers back. “My name's Cindy . . .”

Sharon choked on her water again.

“. . . And I'm just the biggest fan of all of you,” she squealed excitedly. “I just love that show that you're all in, I've watched it dozens and dozens of times! You play Princess Holly, don't you?” she said, pointing a manicured nail in Holly's face.

Holly opened her mouth to speak but Cindy kept on talking.

“And you play her lady!” she pointed at Denise. “And you! ” she squealed even louder, pointing at Sharon, “you were friends with that Australian rock star!”

The girls looked at each other worriedly as she pulled out a chair and sat down at their table.

“You see, I'm an actress myself . . .”

Denise rolled her eyes.

“. . . And I would just love to work on a show like yours. When are you making the next one?”

Holly opened her mouth to explain that they weren't actually actresses but Denise beat her to it.

“Oh, we're in discussions right now about our next project,” she lied.

“Oh, how fantastic!” Cindy clapped her hands. “What's it about?”

“Well, we can't really say right now, but we have to go to Hollywood for filming.”

Cindy looked like she was going to have a heart attack. “Oh my God! Who's your agent?”

“Frankie,” Sharon interrupted Denise, “so Frankie and us are all going to Hollywood.”

Holly couldn't hold her laugh in.

“Oh, don't mind her, Cindy, she's just excited,” explained Denise.

“Wow, and so you should be!” Cindy looked down at Denise's boarding pass on the table and nearly had heart failure. “Wow, you girls are going to Lanzarote too?!”

Denise grabbed her boarding pass and shoved it in her bag, as if that would make a difference.

“I'm going there with my friends. They're just over there,” she turned around again and waved at them again and they waved back again . “We're staying in a place called Costa Palma Palace.

Where are you guys staying?”

Holly's heart sank. “Oh, I can't quite remember the name, girls, can you?” She looked to Sharon and Denise with wide eyes.

They shook their heads vigorously.

“Oh well, not to worry,” she shrugged her shoulders happily, “I'll see you when we land anyway! I better go now and board, I wouldn't want the plane to fly off without me!” She squeaked so loudly that the surrounding tables turned to stare. She gave each of the girls a big hug and tottered off back to her friends.

“Looks like we needed those knuckle-dusters after all,” Holly said miserably.

“Oh, it doesn't matter,” perked up Sharon, always the optimist. “We can just ignore her.”

They all stood up and headed over to the boarding gate. As they made their way to their seats Holly's heart sank once again and she immediately dived into the seat on the far side of the aisle.

Sharon sat down beside her and Denise's face was a picture when she realized who she had to sit next to.

“Oh fab! You get to sit beside me!” Cindy squeaked at Denise. Denise threw Sharon and Holly a nasty look and plonked herself beside Cindy.

“See? I told you that you'd find yourself a little friend to play with,” Sharon whispered to Denise. Sharon and Holly broke into fits of laughter.

Twenty-seven

FOUR HOURS LATER THE PLANE glided over the sea and landed at Lanzarote Airport, causing everyone to cheer and applaud. No one on the plane was more relieved than Denise.

“Oh, I have the biggest headache,” she complained to the girls as they made their way to the luggage reclaim. “That bloody girl just talks and talks and talks.” She massaged her temples and closed her eyes, relieved at the peace.

Sharon and Holly spotted Cindy and her crew making their way over to them and they dashed off into the crowd, leaving Denise standing alone with her eyes closed.

They beat their way through the crowd so they had a good view of the luggage. Everybody thought it would be a great idea to stand right next to the conveyer belt and to lean forward so that nobody beside them could see what was coming. They stood there for almost half an hour before the conveyer belt even started moving and a further half an hour later they were still standing there waiting for their bags while the majority of the crowd had headed outside to their coaches.

“You bitches,” Denise said, angrily approaching them, dragging her suitcase behind her. “You still waiting for your bags?”

“No, I just find it strangely comforting standing here and watching the same leftover bags going around and around and around. Why don't you go on ahead to the coach and I'll just stay here and continue enjoying myself,” Sharon said sarcastically.

“Well, I hope they lost your case,” Denise snapped. “Or even better, I hope your bag burst open and all your big knickers and bras are spread all over the conveyer belt for everyone to see.”

Holly looked at Denise with amusement. “You feel better now?”

“Not until I have a cigarette,” she replied, but she still managed to smile.

“Ooh, there's my bag!” Sharon said happily and swung it off the conveyer belt, managing to whack Holly in the shins.

“Ow!”

“Sorry, but must save clothes.”

“If they've lost my clothes I'm going to sue them,” Holly said angrily. By now everyone else had gone and they were the only people left inside. “Why am I always the last person waiting for my bags?” she asked her friends.

“Murphy's Law,” Sharon explained. “Ah, here it is.” She grabbed the suitcase and once again whacked it against Holly's already sore shins.

“ Ow! Ow! Ow!” Holly yelled, rubbing her legs. “Could you at least swing the bloody thing the other way?!”

“Sorry,” Sharon looked apologetic, “I only swing one way, darling.”

The three of them headed off to meet their holiday rep.

“Stop, Gary! Get off me!” they heard a voice screeching as they rounded a corner. They followed the sound and spotted a young woman dressed in a red holiday rep uniform being attacked by a young man also dressed in a holiday rep uniform. The girls approached her and she straightened herself up.

“Kennedy, McCarthy and Hennessey?” she said in a thick London accent.

The girls nodded.

“Hi, I'm Victoria and I'm your holiday rep for the next week.” She plastered a smile on her face.

“So follow me and I'll show you to the coach.” She winked cheekily at Gary and led the girls outside.

It was two o'clock in the morning, and yet a warm breeze greeted them as they stepped outside.

Holly smiled to the girls, who felt it too; now they were really on holiday. When they stepped into the coach everybody cheered and Holly silently cursed them all, hoping this wasn't going to be a cheesy “let's all make friends” holiday.